5 5) The funeral…
POV: Carissa
The next few days were a blur. I had come back to the detective and two other cops standing around seeming to look around at everything but doing a thing to help me. As people kept coming around saying they wanted to help deal with funeral arrangements, but not expenses, I soon realized they just wanted to be nosey and find out what had actually happened to Aaron. I just kept telling people he had a heart attack - which was true. I just left out the part where it was drug induced.
Everything seemed wrong, and I couldn't even begin to figure out how to correct it. I knew I was emotionally out of sorts, so I even contacted my doctor about my depression and the panic attacks I had started having since his death. Nothing helped but Jason. The only thing that kept me going was my sweet little boy. His precious face and happy cooing every time I was around him, kept me going.
Today waking up, I look over at my clock. It is hours before my alarm is set to go off, but I am not surprised. The funeral is today. I look over at Jason, asleep in his crib, and am secretly jealous of the peaceful rest he is getting… oblivious to everything going on. Laying in bed, staring at the ceiling, I think about all the times Aaron and I have shared over the past couple years. So many good memories, and so many terrible ones too, come tearing across my mind's eye. Somehow all the fights, holes in walls and verbal abuse seems to pale in comparison to all the memories of love and laughter shared… then I hear Jason stirring and instantly all the times that Aaron chanced his little life came flooding forward. All the good memories completely vanished as my anger surged to those thoughts. Jason starts crying wanting to be picked up and I give up thinking to be mom, I can always think another day.
As I arrive at the funeral home, Ruth instantly comes out the door for Jason. "I've got him, Carissa. Just let me know if you need anything else." She said. "Thanks mom." I replied and slowly walked into the building behind her. Soon after, people started arriving and wanting to give their condolences - although much of it was a blur - until a girl named Madison came up to me. She was acting like she was grieving as much, or more, than I was. I had no clue who she was! As she began talking to members of my family, it was brought to my attention that she was someone he was cheating on me with. They had apparently met just a few weeks ago on a dating website. I was totally shocked, as I had no clue he had been on those kinds of websites, but now I was determined to find out all the 'secrets' there were about Aaron's life.
As the funeral came to a close, I was left to say my final goodbye without anyone else around. Starring down at him, I wanted to slap him. "I can't believe you left me like this. How dare you fucking leave me with all this mess to deal with all on my own?" A single tear drops down my cheek and I quickly brush it away. "I will find out all your secrets - including all your lies you told on whatever dating website you joined." I swore to him, "I loved you with everything in me and I'll never let someone in like that! You taught me - and I'll never be that stupid again." Walking away from the casket, I reaffirmed in my own mind that I would never be hurt by a man ever again.
