5 Jasmine Yellow

I woke up with a start.

All I heard was the loud thumping of my heart as I lay there a few seconds, beads of sweat rolling down my forehead.

It was that dream again.

I tried to even my breathing and slowly sat up in my bed, turning on the bedside lamp. It wasn't much light, but it helped calm me down until I was awake enough to walk downstairs to grab something to drink.

I hadn't had one of those dreams in a long time now, so it shocked me a little. It didn't help that this one was particularly more gruesome than the rest. I could still see the blood dripping down her forehead, her screams ringing in my ears. "Run!" she was yelling, her tears turning red.

I closed my eyes, taking another sip of my coffee, feeling the pit in my stomach grow as the seconds passed by.

I was hoping school could take my mind off things, but lunch had rolled around and I still had a frown on. It had been over a week since I'd joined now, and some of the hype around me had died down. When I passed by, people still stared, but sitting in the cafeteria was relatively bearable now.

After my talk with Ian last week, he'd make sure to say hi whenever I passed by, quite mockingly sometimes. Albeit annoying, and frankly a bit embarrassing, it was nice. I'm not sure if it was because it was him, or just because I had a new friend.

We were even on texting basis now. I mean, I got his number from Scarlet, a bit of a bitch move on my part, but I had to suffer through the suggestive smiles and the endless teasing that followed, some too explicit to even say out loud.

I watched my sister sit at her table with all her perfect friends, smiling in pretty. If only they knew what she was like at home, no one at school would be worshiping her like the pure angel they think she is, I swear.

"Hey," Zoe spoke to me from across the table, getting my attention, "Why is Ian Park making googly eyes at you?"

"Huh?"

Everyone except Daniel had the decency to not turn around and stare. "Oh shit, Zo's right. He's totally eyeing you."

"Dan, are you dumb?" Ruth was sitting across me and Dan, right next to Zoe. She poked him with the fork she was holding, which I realised she did on regular basis. "Now he knows what we're talking about."

"No, he doesn't." Of course Daniel's best defense was no defense. You gotta love the guy for bring a truly hopeless idiot, if nothing else.

"You were being pretty obvious," Fyn said, putting it nicer than any of us would have.

"Either way, doesn't matter if he was," I sighed, even though the loud thumping sound in my chest said otherwise, "so is everyone in the cafeteria. I'm the crazy chick, remember?"

Zoe had a knowing smile on her face, her bright blue eyes twinkling, "no, dude. He looked totally love-struck. You should've seen it." She wasn't helping my heart calm down, I'll just say that.

I only shrugged, brushing off the whole thing.

Although I'd been talking to him a lot more, especially over text, I didn't want any of them to know about it. Ruth had something against the guy and I didn't want to make any assumptions until she told me what it was.

Zoe's words did give me ideas though, so I took my phone out my jeans' pocket and sent him a quick text from under the table.

'What're you looking at, huh?'

I'd taken a sip of my orange juice when my phone vibrated with a text.

'Thought you'd get mad again if I didn't.'

I was looking at my phone screen, thinking of how to reply, when Dan exclaimed like an idiot, "oh my god, she's smiling at a text. Guys, Violet's smiling at a text!"

I looked at him, my smile instantly vanishing. "It's my mom," I said dryly. It was enough to shut him up, but Zoe was too perceptive for her own good.

"Sure, it is," Zoe countered, wearing a smirk.

I simply brushed it off again, but I was scared the sound of my heartbeat would give away how I really felt.

Surprisingly no one mentioned it any further, and I got up towards the end of break, going to drop my tray back. Ruth got up too, even though she'd brought her own food today and said, "let's go together."

"Sure."

"You have history now, right?" she casually asked, walking in step beside me.

"Yup, he wants us to submit this thesis next month, and he's going to group us today," I told her. "I'm so scared I'm gonna get a bunch of idiots."

"Isn't Ian in that class too?" she asked, but her question felt leading somehow.

"Yeah, but what are the chances of being paired with a hot smart guy, right?" I was trying to laugh it off, but Ruth looked too serious.

What's wrong?

I wanted to know so bad, but I kept quiet, waiting for her to make the first move.

And she did.

She looked up all of a sudden, a rare apprehension in her tone.

"Hey, let's talk after school."