Chapter 2

Depression is something people use as an excuse to fill the void. The void that had no meaning and had no reason. For me, that void was my entire life, something which would never have meaning. That was until Sarah came and changed everything. The way her hands fit so perfectly with mine and the way she would prolong hugs just to make me feel better. I had no doubt that was what love is, and I had no doubt it was l gone.

Sarah...

"Ethan your mom has called you seven times today, why haven't you picked up?!" I kept the phone against my cheek, my eyes cold and dead. "I'm sorry dad, just a little busy with college work." My father new better to believe me, especially when he knew how easily depressed I got. "Ethan, listen to me, and listen closely. Sarah is dead. we all have to accept it..." I felt my body start to shake, "Why do we have to accept it, the body hasn't been found yet, she c-"

"God damnit Ethan!" I pulled the phone away, my heart sinking as each word was filled with worry. "You are strong, you have to stay strong, it's what Sarah wants." I stared through the bathroom doorway, the mirror reflecting my messy black hair and my almost pitch black eyes. I watched as blood trickled down my shoulder, a cut I placed there out of rage. "You will never know what Sarah wanted."

I hung up the phone and tossed it on my couch.

"You know Ethan, I hate when you do that."

I saw Sarah appear behind me, her same blonde and rose cheeks bright with joy. "Why do you follow me, you aren't real." Sarah frowned, her pink lipstick slightly out of place, "Why do you hate me, we use to love each other so much." I slammed my head against the wall, a slight crack formed in the material. I felt the pain radiate through my entire body and collapsed to my knees, "Why me..." Tears poured out of my eyes and blood dripped onto the carpet, I was a complete mess. I knew that, hell I knew that more than anyone else in this world. I was no longer Ethan Botts, I was his shadow, the real me dying along with Sarah.

"You know what will help, if you would wake up."

"Ethan!" A woman's voice called for me. Was I dead? Why do I feel so cold? It hurts so bad. The pain won't stop. Pain? If I was dead I would not feel that right, right. Wait, something warm is touching me. I opened my eyes to see a hand reaching for my face.

"Sarah?" For a second that hand looked so familiar. The hand grabbed my collar and ripped me forward. I came crashing down onto a slush of mud and dirt.

Taking in heavy breathes I searched for an answer. A small ray of light was beamed on my face. Behind the flashlight stood a figure in a hoodie. The figure slowly approached me with without a word.

"Who are you?" I asked putting a hand up to block the light.

"Ethan, it's me,"

That voice struck pain in my chest, the familiarity almost made me puke.

Holly took a step forward with a stunned expression. Her green eyes surveyed me for an answer.

"Why the hell are you here?!"

I tried my best to stand but a sharp pain in my right leg stopped me from doing so and instead sent me back into a heaping pile of snow.

Why am I still here? I did it right, I made the decision to end it. I should not be here. I need to see Sarah. I need to die.

Tears found a familiar place on my face.

Holly stood in silence, beaming her flashlight around to see if anyone was around.

"You need to answer me Ethan, I don't know what's going on."

I ignored her, she made things worse, why could she not have left that day. Why did Sarah have to be the one to slip.

I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

I hit my head on something and just to make things worse, I woke up with a blistering headache. I took in my surroundings, My body was fastened in the passenger seat of a a vehicle with the heater blasting. Warmth.

"You okay."

I swirled to see Holly next to me. She was focused on driving but she glanced over at me with concern.

"You haven't said a word to me yet, what is going on, why were you down there?!"

My mouth opened but no words came out. I watched as buildings covered in snow zoomed by and Wonder City came into view.

"I just..."

Holly Green, the second closest person to Sarah. They hung out so much that it took me months to convince her to go with me instead. She would call them two sides to a coin or two peas in a pod.

I smiled, Sarah loved making corresponding metaphors like that. It was one of her things she did to make me cringe and laugh.

Holly placed a hand on my shoulder, my jacket still soaked.

"Please Ethan," she asked looking directly at me this time.

"I wanted to see the tree one more time." I lied. It was way to shameful to tell her the truth.

Wait.

"Why were you down there Holly?"

She kept her eyes on the road. We rolled to a stop, the light red.

"Holly?"

She still did not say anything. I watched her search for something.

"I was looking for my dog, Ralf" 

I turned to stare at the light. The streets were completely empty, we were the only ones in sight.

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that." Her face was lit with red.

"It's okay, I'm pretty sure there is no saving him now."

There was a long awkward pause of silence as we entered into the official start of Wonder City.

"Where are you taking me?"

I put a hand on the steering wheel.

Holly stared at me,

"I'm taking you to the hospital, Both your knees are dislocated and I'm pretty sure your ankles aren't in the clear."

I can't go to a hospital, they would ask to many questions, questions I would rather not answer.

"Take me to my apartment, it's just left up here."

She slowed down right before the turn. The hospital was to the right and a few miles down.

"Whats wrong with you!"

She seemed offended at the statement.

"I just need to be alone, I can go tomorrow"

"No, you can go right now and be alone tomorrow."

I grabbed the back of my neck, what the hell?

"Please Holly, just this once."

I would beg if I have to, I needed to think about something.

She took a left and sped down the road. The rest of the drive was deadly silent.

She helped me up the stairs and into my apartment kitchen. I was seated on the couch.

"I cannot believe you."

I kept my head down as she moved pillows under my leg.

"What if there is internal bleeding or something is out of place?"

I just needed sleep.

"Can you go Sarah."

...

I felt Holly's gaze on me. I could feel the tension in the room rise accordingly.

"I-"

She left without a word.

The ceiling light seem to glare at me, its odd features resembling a smile.

It didn't make sense, it couldn't be right.

It had to be a mistake, it had to be.

I closed my eyes as I drifted for a moment, Holly's dog Ralf died six months ago. Sarah made such a big fuss about it.

Why would she lie?