4 Chapter Four

Shane stands and toddles from his bedroom, Elmo plushy in tow as he walks into the small living room. He climbs onto the couch and sinks back into the old, worn cushions. The boy hugs the plushy close and runs his hands through the delicate "fur" of the red toy. After a moment, he leans over and grabs the remote. Shane tries to press the power button, but the screen doesn't light up. With a huff of annoyance, he stands, leaving Elmo behind as he toddles over and presses the button on the old television. After a moment, it lights up, and he hurries back to his seat on the couch.

Giggles fill the room as he leaps back onto the couch, the dilapidated cushions almost wheezing beneath him. Shane grabs Elmo and rolls back into a normal sitting position as the Sesame Street theme song plays. Perfect, he's just in time. Shane cuddles into the run down cushions and hugs his worn plushy as he giggles, and counts, and spells, and sings with the show. His blue eyes sparkle with joy as he watches. These characters were his friends; they taught him a lot and were always really nice. Shane would be starting kindergarten soon, and the only reason he wasn't leagues behind the other kids was this show, and all the children's books the company produced. His parents couldn't afford to send him to pre-school, but they did their best to read to him and keep him at-level with his age group.

In the closed-off kitchen on the other side of the flimsy wall in the trailer, Shane hears hushed voices. His parents are discussing something. He flinches as he hears the harsher voice of his father and a rough thud on the table. His mom snaps back, but Shane can't understand the reply because of the show. He carefully stands, goes over to the t.v., and turns down the volume just a tiny bit. After a sprint back to the couch and a lunge to infinity and beyond, Shane melts into the cushions. Laying on his belly, he has his head turned to face the t.v., but he's much more focused on the conversation going on behind him.

"How the hell are we supposed to pay for these bills?" the deep voice of his dad mutters. There's a rustle of papers and a silence.

"I… I don't know. Our salaries just aren't cutting it anymore," his mom says quietly. Another silence.

"I'll take on another job," his dad offers. Shane shifts a bit and tilts his head to the side. Papa already works two jobs?

"No, no. You're the smarter of us two. You need to get that education. We've been saving for trade school, so you can become a mechanic. That's our best shot at getting out of all this," Shannon demurs. More papers rustle. Shane imagines Mama lifting up some envelopes and some other documents with lots of words and pointing to them.

"Who will take care of Alli?" Connor asks softly, deep tiredness in his voice. Shane feels the defeated timbre in his gut, and he hugs Elmo tighter. Why was Papa so sad?

"Well… umm… let's see. If I take on the job at Walmart, along with my CVS job, I'll cover what we currently have. Then… we take a loan out to pay for the hospital bills while you start your apprenticeship. And… and… Shane will be starting kindergarten… I can take Alli to work at CVS- my manager let me do it with Shane. Then… then… If I take the night shift at Walmart, you can take care of Alli and Shane at home while I work. I'll come home and sleep. You'll be off and out early for the schooling, and I'll get Shane to his school and Alli with me," Shannon says after a lot of thought.

Shane shifts about: Night shift? But what about bedtime stories and dinner?

"I guess that could work… Yeah…" Connor mutters. There is a bit of clicking and the scribble of pen on paper. "The math works out too. We should be able to pay off the loan in about two years if nothing bad happens," he says after a few minutes.

"Alright, that sounds like-"

A cry rises from their bedroom as Allison wakes up and cuts Shannon off. Simon is sleeping in his room with Jack, and they didn't want to wake him up either.

"I've got her," Connor sighs, the sound of a chair scrapes across the floor as he stands. Shane channels his focus entirely on the show as the heavy footfalls of his Pa approach. A rough hand tousles his hair affectionately as Papa passes. Shane watches his figure slip into the room to soothe Alli. He hears lighter footsteps and feels the cushions sink beside his head.

"How's Sesame Street today?" Shannon asks softly as she sits down on the couch. A gentle hand runs through his hair, lightly correcting her husband's affectionate gesture.

"Good. Talking about math today. Count von Count is showing Cookie Monster how to count his cookies, cause Cookie Monster didn't know how many he wanted to buy from the bake sale," Shane mumbles as he shifts closer and leans into his mother's touch.

"I'm glad Count can help Cookie Monster out," Shannon hums lightly. Shane giggles weakly and nods, but his mind is preoccupied. How can his parents act so kind, loving, and happy, when he knows how they really felt? They were sad and nervous because they didn't have money. Shane doesn't get it, they act happy around him, but money makes them sad. As mother and son sit together, watching the show wrap up, Shane makes a promise to himself; he would never be the thing that makes Papa's voice sound hollow and Mama's voice shaky. Shane would always be the thing that makes them smile; the thing that makes their breaths come easier and their shoulders relax. He wouldn't cause them money troubles- or any other troubles.