1 Pitiful youngling

In this forsaken world full of pathetic beings greedy enough to take whatever they get their hands on. Reality.

Sometimes, I just want to go and disappear from this place called Earth. A place where corruption is normalized. Ever since i was a kid, no one looked upon me. Eyes pierced with high expectations for such a young being, pressuring to bring out the "best" of their talent.

"Only an A? Didn't i tell you to score an A+ ?!" Ah yes, my mother who would look at me with pure disgust in her eyes, sometimes i almost feel pathetic looking at myself too.

"But mother, i got the highest in class-"

"I don't care if you got the highest in class. If you can't afford to go to my expectations then you're nothing but worthless." She then stormed out of the dining room.

Whispers can be heard from a distance a few seconds after. It's always been like this. I'm already used to such treatment. The workers would look at me with different emotions displayed on their faces as i walk pass them. I hate this. Being looked down upon. But what upsets me the most is when people look at me with pity in their eyes. I never once wanted to be pitied upon. I never get why I'm being treated like this. Sometimes i wonder, what did i do wrong?

Of course. There's my father too. I don't even know if I can call him a father, did he ever do his job as one? He never personally greets me at my birthdays and is always busy with work. It's like his papers have more value than me, his real daughter.

I still remember my 8th birthday. Memories so vivid from that day. I wore a flowery dress with puffed sleeves and tied two spaced buns. I was so excited for my father to come. I waited, waited, and waited. By evening I just accepted the fact that I was not as important as i thought I was.

Crystal clears droplets started falling from my eyes. I couldn't stop the sudden urge to just break down. Everything, i hate everything. I tried my hardest to be what they expect me to be, but at what cost?

My father then gave me a gift the next day. Of course he didn't send it to me personally, he had a person sent it to my room. It was a music box. The rhythm and melody of it playing was sweet and very calm and pleasant to the feeling. So why? Why did i feel empty even though it was giving that kind of warmness?

Maybe it's because i got tired? Tired of just waiting and waiting and waiting for them to chase me and start to feel my value? It was all just some hopeless dream to begin with.

Emotionless eyes stared into the small and fragile box. Walking closer and closer to it, touching it and then finally, dropping it on the floor.

"I have no need for such useless items."

If I'm not that important to them, then why should they be important to me? I asked for nothing more but love but received hatred and coldness. I never want to wish for anything as for it will only bring me misfortunes in the future. I have no need for care. I don't deserve anything after all.

After that day, I showed no positive emotion whatsoever, I would look at them the same way my parents did to me.

Fast forward to 16. I moved on from that incident. Still as empty as when i was eight years old though. Burning passion to destroy this world to pieces.

"Young miss, the car is ready"

What day is it today again? Ah right, my first day of going to high school. I don't expect much in this so-called school. I never wanted to be there anyway.

Oh right. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Xiana. I don't wanna mention my last name since it reminds me of home. I want to get away from this place as soon as i grow up into a fully fledged adult. I'll live anywhere except for this hell.

Checking a glance from my phone, i saw a notification. It was from Arrah. A fellow classmate of mine since middle school. I met her in quite a weird situation.

———

"Oh my gosh! Why won't the drink fall off the vending machine"

Kick!

"Ah.. oh no..."

The first time i met her, she broke the vending machine. Right infront of me, the grade representative.

She glanced at me with her face full of horror.

"Wait! My name's Arrah! Please don't tell anybody that i broke it"

"...I'm the grade representative and can easily report you. You're quite dumb and brave to even tell me your name"

"Uhhhh... I'll buy you food!"

"No thank you, I have money to buy them"

I sighed at her and her puppy looking face. She looked like she was being harassed by me.

"..Fine I won't tell, just don't do it again next time"

"Alright! Thank you!"

She's quite a peculiar girl. So energetic for her age. It's like she's been drinking coffee all the time. Quite eccentric if I may say the least.

The next day she sat by me at the school table at lunch and tried interacting with me, of course I gave her a "no".

She just kept on talking and talking to me, basically befriending me. I guess it wasn't so bad to have her by my side sometimes. She would defend me if i do something wrong by accident and she would introduce her friends to me, although they looked like they're gonna pass put at any minute just by looking at me.

She was a good girl.

I opened the message she sent me.

"Cheers on starting our first day of high school! Let's get along well this year too! I'll meet you by the usual spot, take care of yourself always!"

What's with this cringe inducing way of texting? Sigh... she never seem to understand the mood.

Beep beep! Huh? What happened? Ugh my body hurts...

My head... It's bleeding. I feel nauseous too. What happened.... oh right we got hit by a passing car earlier, it was driving so fast and accidentally hit us.

Wait.. i have to text Arrah... I can't.. make her worry.. my body hurts so much..

I struggled to get the phone that was infront of me. I couldn't get it since my legs were in such pain.

Suddenly, a notification appeared again. I saw the message inside it.

"By the way, I love you so much!! I forgot to type it lol"

Arrah... I'm sorry... I don't feel so good.. My vision feels so blurry from too much blood loss.. I'm sorry for treating you so coldly...

Tears started to form around my eyes.

I'm worried about Arrah, how will she react? That girl can't even walk without tripping and always needs assistance. Will she be alright? I don't want to leave her by herself. Arrah... take care of yourself.