2 Pain Matters, You Matters

AFTER

A S T R O

What this is suppose to mean?? I'm I still alive??

My eyes were so heavy as I tried to open it, I couldn't recognises what was happening lately but I could hear many voices coming and going but I couldn't make it a proper meaning.

The moment I opened my eyes, I was hitted by the light sparkling all around the room. I blinked many times to adjust with the light and took some minutes to realise I was in a hospital.

I wanted to scream and snatch everything but sadly, I couldn't make it out of the bed or even make a proper voice out of my mouth. I felt so weak.

"Hey, Astro how are you feeling" I heard a voice coming next from me and my eyes got wide in fear.

"Not good" I muttered turning to the side to face the person. It was a nurse.

"Some of your friends are here, may I call them" she asked kindly.

I nod, not looking at her but sensed her footsteps moving out of the room.

One long minute after, my friends entered the room one by one, everyone shooting murdering glares at me.

I swallowed, once, twice as they came more closer to me.

"Suck the heck out of you Astro" muttered storm, his gray eyes flickering in range.

I stay quiet, not mentioning how anger I was for them saving me.

"The pain is enough Astro, we can't take another" it was Henry who spoke, his hands rubbing against the back of his head uncontrollably.

"So you've nothing to say, than we may all fall desperate and blame the blade" talon shrugged at my silent treatment but in return I exhaled a long breathe, taking advantage of the sickness.

"Fine, let's leave, don't pull shitty things" rayn said looking at me, her eyes passing reassurance.

I hadn't said anything back but noticed the silence from Rammy, she was the mumbling one always but nowadays she's the most quiet.

The pain.

They all left the room with silences holding them, I never saw this type of silences among The 'gravity'.

After they all got out the door was left open.

Staring at the door, Here came another scold filled with agressive look.

She came closer, not even blinking her eye but those eyes looked so weak and red like she hadn't slept or was crying for hours.

"You're a idiot" she shouted at me, gaping the tears which was closer to fall.

"Drop me" I said looking away from her ranging eyes.

"Drop you??" She asked flickering with anger.

"Okay fine, listen I hadn't wanted you to stay for me, for the members or for any one, just, just for your mom" she paused "had you thought about her, did you??" she asked coming closer to my face.

"I just couldn't, its hard to carry all the shits in my head, I just couldn't think of anything" I said biting my bottom lip, holding the tears back.

"I'm being selfish this time, only for me because it's hard-its hard to stay, carrying those pain"

"Astro please??" Ivy said holding both my hands "please don't" she begged crying in my arms.

~

Being back from the hospital was like released from the hell and keeping myself locked inside my room felt like heaven.

I was thankful to Ray and nathania for requesting to take me back from the hospital, I guess they lied about the upcoming exams and pending classes.

Whatever it was better to be back and stare at the ceiling of my room, imaging our memories playing in the top like a screen but on the other hand it hadn't helped instead made me feel even more worse.

I gathered up the memories of yours,

But they are vivid by now.

Before I got worse, someone banged at the door causing me to jump from my bed. I walked upto the door and opened it, expecting the least person

"Zen"

"Hey, how you are doing" he asked non of emotions playing in his face.

"I guess, I don't know" I replied.

He nod back with acknowledgment "Yeah, I can see"

"How's you going" I ask back, expecting a silent look from him.

Glancing at each other for a moment, my eyes travelled to his hands holding a book, it seemed like a journal "what's that book" I asked.

"It's- it's the reason why I came here, actually I wanted to give you this" his cold voice was back.

Before I could respond he handed me the book and turned his heel back "Bye Astro" he said to his shoulder not turning back at me and I watched him walk away leaving me confused.

Sitting back at my bed I glanced at the book unable to open it. After inhaling and exhaling I fought some courage together and opened the book, letting my heart to sink.

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