The house of your soul

Despite her previous hesitation, Liu'er ate the food at a quick pace, as if she was afraid the food would suddenly disappear. From her seat, Bai Yue peered at the young maid over her book, her gaze filled with a curious mix of sorrow and joy. In her past life, Bai Yue remained childless until the very end. In this life, the future was still unsure. Nevertheless, she hoped that should she ever have a child, they would be as cute as the little maid whose mouth full of food made her look like a hamster.

In the end, it was truly a miracle that Liu'er didn't lick the plates clean.

"Was it good?" Bai Yue asked Liu'er after turning over the page of her book.

Liu'er flushed when she heard the question, realizing she might have overstepped her bounds. Did young miss now think she was a greedy glutton? Ah, how could she eat her mistress' food?!

Still, she couldn't avoid the question. Answering no would be a slap to her own face since she ate so much. But answering yes...

"Liu'er?"

"Ah, y-yes, it was very good." Too good, actually!

"If that's so, then you should always eat breakfast with me."

"Yes, of course," Liu'er quickly responded, happy that her young miss was not angry with her. Then she blinked. Wait. What did her young miss say? Eat with her? Since when did servants eat with their masters? Was the miss trying to get her killed? Oh dear, no matter what she thought, it really seemed like the young miss' condition kept worsening! "Young miss! How could I?! This is not proper at all!"

"Proper? Does it even matter?" Bai Yue hadn't spent ten years in the imperial harem for nothing. Wearing an innocent expression, she let out a sigh of disappointment. "Forget it, I won't trouble you further about that. It is just... that I feel better with you by my side. I thought I could eat more if you were with me."

It wasn't a complete lie. Liu'er did help her to some extent. The demons in her mind were less powerful when the girl was around. Just a little, but sometimes, even that could make a difference.

"Young miss..." Liu'er furrowed her brow, suddenly feeling remorseful. Her young miss was ill in her mind and her body was now very frail. Because of nightmares and a deep fear of the dark, her sleep was always short and restless. In three months, she had lost a lot of weight. Someone who didn't know the situation might even think Bai Yue was dying! And here Liu'er was, refusing that simple request. "Young miss... if that really can help you, then I -"

"Great!" Bai Yue exclaimed before the girl could finish her sentence. "Then let's eat wonton at lunch today."

"Lunch? But young miss, didn't you say breakfast before?"

Bai Yue shrugged carelessly. "Breakfast, lunch, there are only a few hours between them. I will feel better with you eating with me."

The evening meal took place in the main hall with the whole family. Liu'er naturally couldn't eat with her then.

"I see..." But why did Liu'er feel like she had been tricked?

"You need to eat food for your body and the chestnuts on your chest to grow." It was a bit naughty but Bai Yue couldn't help saying this and enjoying the girl's reaction. It had been so long since she saw such honesty and innocence. The flustered expression wasn't an act, nor was the blush on Liu'er's cheeks.

"Young miss! Stop bullying me, please!" Indeed, Liu'er's embarrassment was no act. She was completely innocent! Why did young miss keep bringing her chest in the conversation? "Young miss, I don't want to marry! I will take care of you forever!"

Bai Yue's gaze dimmed a little upon hearing this. In her past life, she had a maid who said the same thing to her before Bai Yue entered the palace. Yi'er was her name. Indeed, Yi'er took care of her 'forever'. It was just that, in the end, 'forever' was just too short and bathed in blood.

After coming back to life, Bai Yue gave Yi'er money and send her away. The further away from the capital, the better.

Bai Yue put down her book on the table next to her and got up. Walking to Liu'er, she patted softly her head. "What does your body have to do with a husband? Silly girl, taking care of your body is for your own benefit. Liu'er, remember this, you can be good to others, but you can't forget to take care of yourself first. Understood?"

Liu'er looked at her young miss with wide eyes. Obviously, it was still the ill sixteen years old fifth young miss of the Bai family. So why did Liu'er feel like Bai Yue was Madam herself?

"Young miss, I am just a servant. How could I put myself first?" Liu'er responded awkwardly.

For a moment, Bai Yue didn't answer and remained silent, her eyes on the young girl. Why, indeed? One was a servant. The other a master. Their living conditions were very different. Yet... in the end, Death spared no one.

"Because your body houses your soul," she eventually said in a low voice. "If you don't take care of it, who will?"

Liu'er felt her heart clenching painfully when she heard those words. Her parents sold her when she was very young and the Bai family only brought her four months ago. Before entering the Bai manor, she had worked for several masters in order to become a proficient servant. After the Bai family brought her, she became a low-ranked servant in the laundry room for three months. Every day felt like forever.

It was the first time someone looked at her like she was truly a human being and not just an object to use until it breaks.

"Young miss... thank you for your kind words. I will never forget them."

Bai Yue grinned softly. "It is good if you don't. But even if you do, I will just remind you."

It was a promise Bai Yue made both to Liu'er and to herself. In this life, she truly hoped that Liu'er would not end like the Yi'er of her past life. As long as the young maid wished to remain by her side, Bai Yue would protect her.

"Young miss, may I ask you a question?"

"Of course. What is it?"

"If the body is the house of the soul, then what about your soul, young miss?"

The question stunned Bai Yue. When had she ever spoken about her own broken soul? It was common sense that teachers rarely applied to themselves what they taught, wasn't it?

Unfortunately, it seemed like the young maid in front of her didn't know this very common principle as she continued speaking, "You are so thin and eat so little. The Lord and Madam are very worried about you. Young miss, you need to take better care of yourself!"

Immediately following this, Liu'er realized that she had just scolded the young miss. Panicked, she stammered, "I-I-I'm sorry!"

Then she ran out of the room as if a monster was trying to devour her.

Bai Yue glanced down at the plates on the table, amusement dancing at the corners of her lips. Was she supposed to clear the table herself?