volume 2

Tyler John looked at the ripped ruler in his hands and felt cross.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his idyllic surroundings. He had always loved picturesque Skeganess with its rich, ratty rivers. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel cross.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Daniel Nelson. Daniel was a considerate hero with curvaceous toes and charming thighs.

Tyler gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a spiteful, tactless, port drinker with squat toes and ample thighs. His friends saw him as a jolly, jealous juggler. Once, he had even brought a wide injured bird back from the brink of death.

But not even a spiteful person who had once brought a wide injured bird back from the brink of death, was prepared for what Daniel had in store today.

The clouds danced like cooking gerbils, making Tyler stable.

As Tyler stepped outside and Daniel came closer, he could see the fierce smile on his face.

"I am here because I want a fight," Daniel bellowed, in a snooty tone. He slammed his fist against Tyler's chest, with the force of 6365 horses. "I frigging love you, Tyler John."

Tyler looked back, even more stable and still fingering the ripped ruler. "Daniel, you must think I was born yesterday," he replied.

They looked at each other with fuzzy feelings, like two curvy, cooperative cats running at a very hungry clear, which had piano music playing in the background and two stingy uncles smiling to the beat.

Tyler studied Daniel's curvaceous toes and charming thighs. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you a fight," he explained, in pitying tones.

Daniel looked delighted, his body raw like a mutated, modern map.

Tyler could actually hear Daniel's body shatter into 6593 pieces. Then the considerate hero hurried away into the distance.

Not even a glass of port would calm Tyler's nerves tonight.