51 Playing the Villain

In truth, she had quite liked Yan Qiu Heng for a very long time. The Yan twins and Song Lu Li were a year older than her, but she'd always felt that they were much more mature. Growing up, the twins would often think up new, seemingly sophisticated ways to play and Sun Fen Fang would trail after them in awe and wonder. There had been many a time when little Sun Fen Fang had fallen and it was that handsome young boy who had taken her hand to pull her to her feet. There was no singular event that made her think "Ever since then, I've loved him", but rather, her feelings had developed steadily since childhood.

She had now reached marriageable age and simply could not think of any other man whom she wanted. She didn't harbor any illusions that he might feel the same way about her, but...

"There's no way to know that unless you ask him."

Song Lu Li's words suddenly flashed in her mind.

Yes. It was true. If she didn't speak to him, if she didn't ask him, if she didn't encourage him a little... Nothing would change. Sun Fen Fang took a very deep breath, mustering every bit of courage in her heart to shout "Yan Qiu Heng!"

He froze in place, then turned his upper body to look back at her. When he noticed the look on her face, he seemed to realize something. Yan Qiu Heng turned and took a few steps forward until the two of them were face to face. The crowd first pushed, but again Sun Fen Fang's guards formed a protective ring, so the crowd instead was forced to part around them; people clucked their tongues and muttered in annoyance as they passed.

"What is it?" he asked, his voice gentle.

"I..." Sun Fen Fang suddenly felt that such words had to be said face to face. She removed her veil and met his gaze with clear eyes. Her face was red, but determined. "I like you!" Once the words were out, it was like a dam had been broken. More words came like waves hitting the shore. "I've liked you ever since we were children. I... I won't ask for marriage or even an engagement right away, but can you perhaps start to think of me in that way?"

"..."

"I would do anything for you! I mean it! Yan Qiu Heng... I like you..."

Her words trailed off as her courage and determination were spent. She bit her lip and clasped her hands together, awaiting his answer.

Yan Qiu Heng was quiet for a little while, but it was not out of indecision. He knew even before she started speaking what his answer had to be. However, this girl before him was a good friend of his beloved sister. He couldn't bear to hurt someone so important to Yan Qiu Yue, but neither could he betray himself.

"I'm truly sorry. I am honored and gratified that you like me, but I cannot fulfill your requests." In other words, whether it was an engagement, marriage, or even "thinking of her in that way", he could not do any of it.

Hurt flashed across Sun Fen Fang's face. She replaced her veil and tilted her head, looking down at the ground once more. "May I be so bold as to ask... Is there a problem with me? Or is there already another woman you are interested in?" Honestly, she wasn't sure which answer would make her feel better.

"Neither. There is no problem with you. You..." He thought back to the years they'd known each other. Though they could not be called close friends, he had watched her grow up alongside his sister. He knew what kind of person Sun Fen Fang was and had always treated her with respect. He had long known of her feelings and was hoping that she might never voice them. Then such a scene would not have to happen. However, life would never go as he wished. "You are a very good young lady. Surely in the future, you will meet a man who will cherish you and treat you well. You will marry a man who will truly make you happy."

"That man absolutely cannot be you?" she choked out.

"Cannot." Yan Qiu Heng turned his head slightly to one side, gazing at something further away. He had on a complicated expression that Sun Fen Fang, staring at the ground, could not catch. Yan Qiu Heng regained his composure as he said, "I can tell you something that I haven't even told Qiu Yue yet. I don't know if it will make things better or worse."

"Please tell me."

"I will never marry. That is, I certainly will never choose to do so of my own volition. If one day I am absolutely required to marry in order to help Qiu Yue or my family in some way, then I will have to do so. However... If that were to happen, I definitely will not love that person I am forced to marry."

Sun Fen Fang looked up in shock. Her eyes fixed on Yan Qiu Heng's face. He looked...tired. Resigned. It did not look like the face of someone making an excuse or telling a lie. She had no choice but to believe it, though she could not understand why. Her big eyes filled with tears which she hoped he could not see through her veil. After pausing for a long time to steady herself and fight back her tears, she said, "Yan fifth young master... I think I will go home now. I'm sorry, but could you apologize to Lu Li and the others for me?"

Yan Qiu Heng understood what she must be feeling at this moment. "Of course. Please don't worry. Go home and have a good rest. It has been a long day."

"Yes... A very long day..." After paying her respects to him once more, Sun Fen Fang gathered her people and left.

Once she was no longer in sight, Yan Qiu Heng walked towards that shadow he'd seen earlier. He found himself in a slightly desolate area on the fringes of the city. No festival-goers ventured this far. Leaning against a tree, Hua Yan Ting was looking a little pleased with himself. Yan Qiu Heng stood several paces away, gazing at him with a quizzical look. "If I'm not mistaken, I don't believe this was where we had agreed to gather."

"Forgive me, I was curious to see what you would say to the poor little miss."

"Must you test me in this way?"

"Well, who knows if you would be truthful or if you'd just switch places with your sister again to avoid matters." Hua Yan Ting looked Yan Qiu Heng in the eye, his gaze challenging. A fire seemed to burn in his eyes. It was a look on Hua Yan Ting that no one other than Yan Qiu Heng had ever witnessed, for better or for worse.

"You keep bringing that up, but I feel that I'm actually the one who should be upset at the fact that you couldn't even tell the two of us apart."

It always came back to this. Hua Yan Ting snorted in derision. "Fine, fine, whatever you say. We'd better go back to the Song siblings before a search party's sent out for us this time."

Yan Qiu Heng nodded and the two of them walked back towards the festival area of the city. After a long silence, Hua Yan Ting said quietly by Qiu Heng's ear, "You're much too kind, you know. If you say such nice things to her, how is she supposed to cut off her feelings for you? If you'd been harsher, it would have been easier for her to get over it."

At this, Yan Qiu Heng laughed. He kept his eyes on the street and replied lowly, "Unfortunately, as you know, I'm a vain person. I can't make myself into a villain who tramples over a young girl's feelings, even if that's what's best for her."

"Hmph. Thanks to that, I'm always having to play the villain instead."

"Isn't that what you're best at?"

Though the group reunited, the festive, happy atmosphere had been thoroughly extinguished. Hearing Yan Qiu Heng relay Sun Fen Fang's words of apology to the group, Song Lu Li could vaguely guess at what had happened. Everyone in the group was preoccupied for the rest of the night excepting poor Song Lu Ming who had not a clue why everyone else was suddenly so serious. In this way, the Qingming Festival drew to a close.