1. I Hate

I suppose I should start at the beginning. When I met Lee, well that wasn't too long ago. I had met Lee after being hired as an editor of the 'Fine Print' one of the biggest publishing companies of the country.

He was a couple offices over, he had invited me to coffee a couple days after I was hired. I don't remember too well what we talked about, and I'm sure that I wouldn't want to talk too much about it... Even if I did remember it clearly.

At the time I had only seen it as a friendly thing. At the time I was dating this guy, his name was Jacob. I liked him, I really did but I felt bad. He had told me he loved me, and I believed him, I really did... But I didn't love him. There's a difference, there really is. I knew there was, so I told him:

"Listen, I like you Jacob... I really do... But I don't know if I love you..." he said he'd give me time, but that was a lie. Absolute pain in the ass. Consider pouring your heart out and hearing: 'I don't know if I love you...' that stuff is shattering. Heartbreaking. Really it is. I felt like an ass! I felt absolutely terrible! But despite how much pity I could have there was no way I could lie to the guy.

I hate pity, that's the sort of garbage that I hate. I really do. I hate when someone does something for someone else because they feel bad, not because it's out of their own nature or kindness, but because they feel 'bad'. It's absolute trash.

"I really love you, Harley, I'll wait for you." This irritated me, it did! I wanted to be mean to him, but something stopped me, so I left it at that and went to meet Lee for coffee.