1 Chapter 1

Sex, the very thing I had thought to be magical and lovely. Now sickens me right to the very pit of my stomach where my dead unborn child used to live. I hereby pronounce, I will practice abstinence until I find someone worthy enough of giving me a good seed. For the sake of my baby back in heaven! The first thing I promise her is to pick a handsome man, so she will come out beautiful. Furthermore, raise her to be independent.

5 months later....I walk into a plain old office and sit at my desk. I take a look around, once again I see no decorations, photos of loved ones, or even sticky notes. The office itself is so clean that it feels empty. I steal a long overworked glance at the neatly placed folders. Everything is labeled. Nothing out of order, the air is breathable here. I break my state to spin myself on my semi-comfortable chair. Maybe, I should just leave? I thought to myself as I sink further into boredom. No that's not good. I need to think more positively....hmmm I know! I should get some food!~knock, knock, knock,~ I look up to my door to see it has already been opened by a tall girl. The lady has brown hair tied up in a bun, and is dressed in formal business attire. "Can you finally hear me? I've been trying to get your attention for quite a while now." I stare at her before I answer. Today she comes in again. Should I make a bet that she'll do the same tomorrow? Maybe not, she'll get pissed at me. "What do you want from my life, Julie?" I sarcastically regarded her. Julie and I have been friends for over 2 years now. She always looks after her own. So when I hit rock bottom, she was there for me. Now I'm here for her. "Oh, so you don't want me to share this tea I'm sipping on? Or is it that you already know?" Julie walks in closer and closes the door behind her. "There's a new intern....he's mine." Julie paused as she took a triumphant stance and breath. "Okay" I agreed without paying attention. "Wait-" "no no no, you agreed." Julie giggled "so for you to claim him while completely disregarding the dibs rules, he must be a solid 10." I stood up excited to sneakily look for this so-called new intern. "Bingo! But he's totally an ice prince. Earlier today I tried to grab coffee with him....well let's just say he's either playing hard to get or he just isn't interested. But, that's not possible, I mean come on! Look at me! I'm gorgeous!" Julie does a slow spin so I can fully grasp her beauty. I wish I could say she wasn't intoxicating, but she works out and has a big bust....not to mention her tight butt. Her body alone would capture any man she wants. And her face is that of a model's. It's such a shame that I got her working here instead of some modeling agency. Julie has always been like that, she knows she's beautiful. She knows it and works it. I want her confidence. Even being ignored by a guy she fancied, it never shot her spirits down. I love that part of her the most. "Okay, so what do I do with this not-so-new information?" I walk over to her and out of my office. "You're kidding right? Wait, so you let other people handle the hiring process...I bet you just gave your stamp of approval without looking over the papers at all." Julie knows me well. We start walking to the company cafeteria. "I looked over some of it for your information." I nagged her jokingly. "You never finished telling me what happened between you and the newbie there." I smirked knowing she never intended to share the full story. "What, now you're interested! No way! I had to claim dibs on him to get you to pay attention." I glanced at her for 5 seconds. The only thing that Julie hates is when someone stares directly at her for more than 3 seconds. "Hey, hey, stop that. It won't get me to tell you any faster." I did not break my stare. "Okay, okay! I walked up to him and gave him one of my devilish smirks. But that asshole just ignored me. So I thought if I said hi to him he would at least say hello back….That bastard! He ignored me again." I'm surprised, it takes a lot for anyone to ignore Julie. Let alone do it twice. I mean her looks can turn a woman, her looks have turned a woman. "So, obviously not knowing how rejection felt...what did you do?" I asked even more interested in the conversation. "I tapped on his shoulder so he wouldn't be able to ignore me." Julie paused again. The suspense she's giving me makes me want to flip a table over. "He turned to me and said hello, then turned away." Whoa, a man turned away from Julie! This is juicy tea. "And so, what'd you do? Did you storm off? Did you act like it was nothing? Or did you still not get the hint?" "You know your eyes sparkle every time you're genuinely into something. I walked away. I was rejected for the first time in my life. He must have a girlfriend! Otherwise, there's no way he could resist me." We reached the cafeteria and ordered our drinks and food. Then we took a seat by the window far from other workers. We don't really associate with other co-workers. "Oh, that makes sense. Anyway, besides his rude behavior...how tall is he? Eye color? Hair color? Like come on how you gonna tell me he's a hottie and not bother describing him? You naughty girl, stop being a tease and let me know." Julie laughs a little louder than I'm used to. "I'll go get our food, you'll get to know when I get back." She blew a kiss to me and walked away. That girl, I swear all she knows how to do is tease me. I gaze out the large window dozing off. I wonder just how hot this new guy has to be in order to reject such a pretty girl? I entered my own little imagination letting my thoughts wonder. "Can I sit here?" I break out of my Lala land to see a handsome young man standing beside a chair tucked into the table. His skin was light honey brown, he had brown eyes and dark silky brown hair. Stunned a bit at his appearance I locked eyes with him. I think this man could be that new intern that Julie and I were just talking about. "Of course you may not. I like my space." I was a little mad that Julie was rejected and without knowing I spoke my mind. The young man sat anyway. "Hey! I clearly-" "I heard you. But you looked lonely. So Just for now let me keep you company." I stared at him while sketching his outline in my mind. He wasn't as tall as I imagined. He stood a proud 5 foot 9 and had a chelzed body himself. "I guess you're not used to rejection either." I blurted out. What's wrong with me today? I'm never this rude to people I just meet. "No, actually I'm used to pretty girls like yourself giving me some attention. I'm Adam by the way." Adam stretched out his hand asking for a handshake. "Elizabeth" I shook his hand and went back to staring outside the window in hopes to return to Lala land once again. "Well Lizzy, what are you doing here by yourself? And not to mention, I think you forgot your food." Adam smirked. Instantly I remembered the last time a guy smirked at me like that. He was the love of my life. He took everything from me. Disgusted in the smirk that was thrown my way I spoke with anger. "Who said I was alone? Even, if I was alone, why should that matter to you? You're just a stranger, meaning you're nobody to me. I don't expect you to be kind to me so don't expect me to throw myself at you just 'cause you look good. Next time, when a woman says something in the realm of no or rejects you, you should just walk away instead of annoy her more." I stared directly into his eyes. I know I made a vow 5 months ago to find some hottie and have a kid, but the scars on my heart are still pretty fresh. "I think you overstayed your welcome at this table." I glared at Adam signaling him to start moving away. Adam got up and left me to cool down in the fire I started above the fuel he threw. Too angry to pay attention to anything I looked down at the empty table wondering why Julie hadn't returned yet. I heard a small clank on the table followed by another small clank. "Did he smile at you?" It was Julie! She was back and she was already eating. "Maybe, what took you so long? I was dying of boredom." Julie put her fork down. I knew she was about to get serious with me. "You broke up with him and by luck inherited your late long lost daddy's company, so you put everything that you had left with you into work, you don't let anyone get close to you but me, and you absolutely hate it when any guy smiles at you. Lizzy, you got to move on I know you don't want to hear this but it's been half a year" "Not yet" "HALF a year, and you're scared to open up. What will happen to you when I'm not around. I already told you that this job isn't my dream. I plan on moving on once my dream job takes me. Who'll you talk to during lunch time? Whose shoulder will you cry on? Does this mean you will call me from wherever I am? Baby girl, I won't be able to pick up all the time….please at least consider opening up and making new friends." I pick up my fork and start stabbing my food. "I won't" I sulk "You will" Julie crosses her arms looking more and more like an angry mother than a concerned one. "Fine! If that's what'll it take for you to leave me alone then I'll make friends" I looked up and smiled at her. "You're not allowed to pay someone to say they're your friend." "Then how do you expect me to make friends?" I gave an awkward laugh, when Julie gets like this I call it mother mode. Her mother mode was unusually strong today. "No little miss, you're not getting out of this that easily. The one that you basically threw out was THAT new intern. He was definitely into you, and you didn't let him get close just because he smiled at you! Do you not hear how ridiculous that is? He smiled at you, talked to you, and even tried to hold a conversation and you threw him away like he was some stinky trash!" "The face doesn't determine the personality! So what, I pushed him away, he asked for it. The way he treated you. Then had the nerve to call me Lizzy! That bastard deserved to be put in his place. And if I wanted to get to know him I would've!" I didn't notice how loud I was when speaking to Julie. She looked at me embarrassed that I was now speaking to everyone within the cafeteria. Julie got up, took her food and sat with some co-workers I didn't even bother to know. "FINE!" I storm off leaving my food at the table. What I wanted to do was apologize to her for raising my voice, I was also embarrassed with myself. I couldn't bring myself to do so because of too many eyes. I go back to my office stomping my feet all the way to the chair. "UGH!!!!!" I let out a loud aggressive sigh. I hate how I handled that. Julie wasn't even wrong, I..I just felt cornered when she started mentioning leaving. She didn't deserve that. Ugh, I'm a terrible friend. I can't even take some advice without blowing a fuse. She hates me now. It's not like it was a private conversation, there were people there. It became a public conversation because of me. Why did she corner me? What's wrong with me today? Why am I getting easily irritated? I want to apologize….but I didn't know she made friends in the company. Maybe the people here aren't so bad. Now that I think about it...Adam probably thinks I'm crazy. Great so much for first impressions. 4 years ago I was in a relationship with my highschool sweetheart. We started dating in our sophomore year. At first the relationship was perfect. We walked from place to place just to talk to each other, and we joked with each other a lot. Of course the sex was amazing too. He made me feel special, like I was the only girl he saw. But, that was just the start. After just 4 months he changed. He started becoming more and more distant from me. I kept trying to talk to him. I even asked if he wasn't happy being with me. He always told me everything was fine and that I shouldn't worry. We began having sex daily. I thought, maybe something else was stressing him out. So being his girlfriend, I gave him massages and cooked for him. That lasted for 3 full years. Somewhere in the middle of all that, I began feeling depressed. I didn't want to see him, let alone have sex with him daily anymore. One night he forced himself on me and on the same night his phone rang. I thought it was my phone so I picked up. It was a woman's voice. I still remember the words she said before I hung up. "Daddy, when are you coming over to rip my clothes again?" He was cheating on me! That was my last straw. I left him the next day. 2 months after I found out I was pregnant with his child. Broken down completely I had already spent 2 weeks just crying and feeling bad for myself at Julie's house. She was kind enough to let me crash. During that time I found out who my long lost father was. Some major chairman for a big time company. He sold the internet and had a clothing line. Also, he knew he was dying. So he wanted to at least find his long lost daughter. We reunited and he taught me everything he could before he passed. I was so busy that I had forgotten to make a decision on whether I should keep the baby or not. In the end I decided to have an abortion. That way, my ex couldn't claim any shares or money or try to fight for the baby. I hated myself afterwards. I didn't know how much love that unborn child had taken until she was gone. I killed her, and along with her she took my happiness. To distract myself from all the pain that's been simmering inside I turned to work, kept my one friend close to me and moved on. Ever since then, I haven't been able to have any type of interaction with men. When Julie said it's been half a year she wasn't wrong, but she wasn't right either. It had actually been 7 months since my relationship with him. I just won't let myself forget what was done to me. I tried everything yet was still treated like trash. Now that I'm someone with money I won't let anyone get the chance to treat me that way ever again, and my baby. My baby will not be waiting for me too long. I could just marry for business. Find only handsome suitors and spoil my little girl. I will get my baby back. However, I will not allow for that man's seed to be carried on. At least not with me. That is the only revenge...that and I blacklisted him as unhireable, so I know he's broke. Or doing some illegal business in order to survive. Either way he got what he deserved.