Chapter 42: deals and memories

"But I don't want to go among mad people," Alice remarked.

"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."

"How do you know I'm mad?" said Alice.

"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

The young Akiko Waki listened with rapt attention while she snuggled closer to her bigger sister. The older Akiko smiled at her younger sister and affectionately rubbed her head. It was times like these that were precious to the two of them. It didn't even matter to Ioanna that this was already the twelfth time this month that her little sister had forced her to read this book. She'd do it a hundred more times this week if she had too. All to make her precious Akiko happy. For they only had each other. Their other family long since abandoning them or killed.

They lived in a small rundown apartment. All their belongings were old, second-hand, or broken in some way or another. The only two things they had that were of any real quality were their refrigerator to help keep their meat fresh and Ioanna's mask; a lightly decorated white half mask that covered the upper part of her face with angel like wings on the tips. To be honest, Ioanna hated the thing. She had designed it when she was younger and a bit of a chuunibyou but found it gaudy now. Plus both she and her sister hated what it represented. That they had to hide and fight just to survive. Even though she and her sister tried to live peacefully. Limiting themselves to make their food last and avoid hunting people who would truly be missed. Sensing her sister brooding over this, Akiko hugged her sister to give her some comfort. Feeling Ioanna's warm arms surround her, Akiko wished that this moment would never end.

It was late one night when Akiko was shaken awake by her sister. "Big sister? What's wrong?" she sleepily asked. Her sister looked worried; afraid even. But that was impossible. Her sister was the most powerful person in the world. She was the mighty SS class ghoul Seraphim who had crushed the doves and enemy ghouls on multiple occasions. There was nothing that could frighten her.

Her sister smiled at her again, but this time it looked so very tired. "Listen to me, Akiko grab whatever you can carry. We need to leave." The confused young girl. Why were they leaving in the middle of the night with and why had her sister waited till now to tell her. Her sleep addled brain still couldn't process all that was happening around her. Still she decided to follow her sister's orders and first picked up her favorite book.

She then smelled something that further confused her. The smell was of a bunch of humans just outside their and something else. Something wrong. Slowly it started to dawn on her what was happening just before she heard the front door being smashed open. The doves had found them. They were already rushing in with activated quinque. Her sister angrily told her, "Akiko! Under the bed now!" Despite feeling that trying to hide under the bed would be pointless and stupid, Akiko quickly followed her orders and crawled under the bed just as her sister unleashed her Ukaku that appeared just like six angelic wings; giving Ioanna her title.

The first four doves that broke into the room were immediately ripped apart by a hail of kagune shards before she charged at them with a battle cry. The battle was only ten maybe fifteen minutes but it was a spectacular one. Almost half of the ghoul investigators were killed in the raid and about another dozen were wounded to a serious degree. But the humans eventually over powered the seraphim; even pushing her back into the bedroom where her sister still surprisingly undiscovered under the bed was forced to watch the finishing blow; her tiny hand holding her mouth to keep the screams in. She simply had to watch as the lights were snuffed out.

The doves seemed to leave the apartment for some reason. Perhaps to take care of their wounded. Akiko stayed under the bed being afraid to move and alert the doves. But after a few minutes she thought it might be safe and started to slowly crawl out. She first reached her hand to that of her sister's when something ripped the bed she was still partially under apart. It was a rinkaku quinque controlled by the dove that now discovered her. The young girl screamed in fear as the dove grabbed her and they struggled. She then felt her shirt rip and with the reinvigorated panic caused by this, her own kagune appeared in its full glory. It tore into her opponent and before any of the other doves could react, she ran barefoot through the living room; smashing her way out through the window while still clutching her favorite book. So she ran into the night; still hearing the doves yell and trying to shoot her dead.

These were the two of the memories that mainly created the nightmares that the young woman now slept through. It only made it harder to sleep than it already was in some cold and dirty back alley. "Big sister," she whispered sadly in her sleep. But she was soon awoken by a giggle and a female voice calling out, "Awww, poor girl. Miss your big sister don't you?"

Akiko shot up and unleashed a deadly attack of ukaku shards at where the voice had come from. She didn't even pause long enough to figure out who had said it. At this point in time, everyone was an enemy to her. But the space was already empty. Akiko searched around her. She wouldn't let this person take anymore from her. She had already lost too much. Her face contorted into an animalistic one, Akiko yelled, "Who are?! Are you here to kick a girl when she's down?" The giggling returned from behind her. Akiko turned to find a bandaged covered woman looking down at her from atop a dumpster. The girl didn't seem like she was here to hurt her but the once feared and powerful SS rated Alice wasn't about to let her guard down. "What do you want?" she asked. The other girl appeared to smile under her bandages. "Why to help you my dear Alice."

"Help me?"

"Don't you want revenge on those who took your happy wonderland away from you?"

Akiko felt a pang in her heart and hatred in her soul resound with this persons words. "You'd really help me?" she asked. The bandaged woman now openly laughed and reached her hand out to Akiko. "That's right," she confirmed. "Follow me and I can give you what you truly want. Let's make the man who stole all your precious friends from you feel your pain." Akiko was a bit reluctant to take this hand. Something felt wrong about it. But she wanted what this demon offered. So she reached her hand out and the deal was made.

Ken hoped he wasn't being too suspicious. It had been only a few days since he had first learned who Maria really was. Because of that, he had been avoiding the human like she was toxic. In sense, she was. Her very presence helped to drag back some rather nasty memories and feelings. Even when he tried to see her as a normal human and truly get to know her, there was still that kernel of darkness that seeped into his thoughts. That wanted him to see her as the enemy. That wanted him to act on his darker impulses and take from those that had taken from him. He found himself multiple times drowning it out at Helter Skelter or discussing it with the always kind Yoshimura.

But he couldn't constantly avoid her. They did go to the same college after all. Hide also seemed to be naively trying to play middle man and get the two of his friends to connect. So here he found himself, doing some studying and homework as the other two discussed what they always discussed; ghouls. It was more than a little awkward and weird for Ken that they discussed these things in front of him. It also felt a bit demeaning in some way he couldn't quite place. Especially with today's topic. Right now they were discussing, out of all things, the possibilities of hybrid ghouls.

It was officially stated by the CCG that hybridation among humans and ghouls was impossible. But among scientists, the idea was much more plausible. After all humans and ghouls were physically similar and a majority of their genetics were close. Though the argument was if they were close enough to actually allow interbreeding. There was also plenty of debate of the survival of the fetus and if the ghoul could even be psychologically or emotionally capable of mating with a human without just eating them.

"But according to Fredrick Lorenz, even if the woman in the couple is human, she wouldn't be able to carry the child to term. She just isn't able to supply the appropriate nutrients for the child to survive in utero." Ken had to admit that Hide's argument was quite sound if you thought within the box. But Ken had learn from what contact he had with the girl, that Maria rarely stayed in said box. She quickly countered, "That's simple then. She just has to get those nutrients for her child. Doesn't she?" Hide gasped comically. "You mean cannibalism?" he asked. "Of course. I mean expecting mother ghouls have to get it from somewhere too. So it's not too much of a stretch to suggest that someone who was willing to carry the child of a ghoul, would be willing to eat other people for that child's very survival right?"

Ken waited. Wanting to see Hide's counter argument. But to Ken's surprise Hide just agreed with her like he had never thought of this idea before. He instead just skipped to the next question and asked, "Well ok, then do you think there are any half ghouls out there now?" Maria took a moment to think about it. "Well, there are probably plenty of them that were born throughout the existence of ghouls. But if I had to say who I thought were half-ghouls among the current ones at large, well I'd have to say possibly the One Eyed Owl and Eyepatch. And also the Ying-Yang twins"

"Eyepatch and the One Eyed Owl eh? Because they both have the one eye thing going for them?" Maria laughed at that. "Well yeah there's that but there is also the fact that both of them had almost meteoric rises into stardom in the ghoul world. This lends to the idea that they had an edge. Perhaps hybrid vigor." She paused a bit before continuing with, "And specifically with Eyepatch there was a person who fits perfectly for the human mother. Hotaru Sasaki." Ken felt his mechanical pencil in his hand crack a bit. Hearing his mother's name tossed into this discussion struck a raw nerve. He felt Hide glance at him. But if the other boy noticed his growing distress, he ignored it while asking, "So you feel that Mrs. Sasaki was really his mother?" Maria nodded her head. "Yeah. As well as the Ying-Yang twins' mother. I know the CCG claims that she was only the one who raised them, most likely under duress, but there is still traces of her registering the births despite the CCG deleting the records. She apparently had the children at a small local clinic instead of a major hospital. A clinic that mind you, was eventually shut down by the CCG for aiding ghouls and selling them flesh that the clinic had left over from operations or buying kidneys from the homeless. There is also the fact that her autopsy report did show evidence of pregnancy and giving birth but there are no other children attributed to her." Maria looked Hide in the eyes. Challenging him to object to her reasoning.

Ken was thankful when Hide instead brought the discussion to an immediate end by jumping up and exclaiming, "Not good! I'm going to be late for Mr. Tomoki's class. He's a real stickler for the rules and I really don't want to end up on his bad side! See you guys later!" With that he grabbed his bag and zoomed off to his next class. Ken couldn't help but snicker at his friend; lightening his mood a little.

Ken thought about leaving as well but felt that that would be too awkward and rude. So he just refocused on his homework while Maria pulled out her phone to read something online about ghouls. For a while the two just stayed there without speaking a word to each other. Eventually Ken noticed Maria watching out of the corner of his eye. He tried to ignore the human as she continued to stare at him. She was the one who eventually broke the silence. "So you're not gonna run away this time?" she taunted him. He looked up at her while showing no emotion.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You always seem to be avoiding me. Makes me think you don't like me."

"It has nothing to do with you; personally. It's just me being shy. I don't really like opening up to strangers that much."

"Hmm. I guess that's true. You don't seem to be the gregarious type. Still I wouldn't call us strangers anymore. More like acquaintances. But it feels like there is something more. Like you feel extra guarded around me. Let me guess. It's my relations to the CCG isn't it?"

Ken sputtered. "Why would that scare me?!" he defensively asked. He was more than a little nervous at that observation. With his luck she probably was super suspicious of him now. Looking for one slip up of his to send the CCG after him for. But Maria just laughed at this. She waved him off as she said, "Don't worry. That's most people's reactions to it. Just mentioning the CCG brings up fears of both ghouls and of overreaching authority and intrusive investigations. So people always seem to be on edge even when they have nothing to hide." She took on a dark expression though and added, "Though personally I feel that everyone has something to hide." Ken smirked at her and said, "That's a little morbid. And I thought I had trust issues." But Maria just shrugged. "Hey, having secrets and hidden facets of your personality is only human. It's what makes us as a species so interesting. Even I have secrets." Ken raised a curious eyebrow at this. "Like what?" Maria looked around them like a criminal in a comedy sketch before leaning over the table and whispering right in his ear, "I have a ghoul friend."

Ken dropped his pencil and looked at girl in shock. Completely frozen in surprise and confusion. She started to laugh hard. Tears came to her eyes and she held her sides. A few people even looked at her in confusion as well. "You… you should… get a look at… your face. That look. It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen." She kept laughing as Ken quietly replied, "What the hell? If what you said is true then of course it's shocking. You do realize hiding one of them is a major crime right? You could go to jail?!" Being one of only two currently free SSS rate ghouls, he actually felt ridiculous telling the woman that she shouldn't be hiding what was probably a small, weak non-violent ghoul. But he had to keep up appearances and play the part of the weak, frightened human.

The girl gave him an insulted look. "Of course I know that. Mom is an investigator remember. But I couldn't even turn her in even if I wanted too. And I rather go to jail then do so. That ghoul was my friend. Even if we only meant once."

"Once?"

Ken heard her sigh again. This time though she didn't look like she was joking anymore. She looked a bit sad and lost in thought. Finally she looked at Ken after seriously making sure that that no one was close enough to properly hear them.

"It was back when I was little. Until then I had the same opinion on ghouls as everyone else I knew. That they were these monsters that only saw people as food and were soulless and felt no pity or love. You know. The standard spiel. But one night I snuck away from my family to go out to a local playground play and I met her. I still don't know why she was there, in a place that was so dangerous for ghouls. But that meeting changed my life. We played for hours before my dad found me and I got punished for running off and scaring my parents half to death. My mom can really dish out the corporal punishment."

Maria smiled faintly at the memory. She took a swig of her drink and continued, "It was later that night, when I snuck into my mom's office for the fun of it, that I found her wanted poster among those that my mom had for cases she was working on. That shattered my tiny world. If ghouls really were what my mom said, then why didn't she just eat me? Why did she play with me and then let me go home? Why had she been so kind?

I then heard about the ghoul attack that happened only a few blocks from the playground on the same night that I had met her. I knew it was her before they officially reported that it had been a small girl. Everyone in the whole ward freaked out of course. Mom made certain that I was always within eyesight of some investigator that she personally trusted for months afterwards. She also made me go through some self-defensive courses as well. But the entire time my tiny mind was trying to figure out the enigma that was ghouls. The fact that she had attacked those two investigators and not me confused me further. 'Why was I spared?' I found myself asking. So I started researching them on my own. And here I am today. A ghoul nut who has more than once butted heads with mom over if they are all evil or not."

Ken thought over what she had just said. He didn't really know what he should think. But one major question came to mind. "Why are you telling me this?" She looked at him straight in the eyes. Her own filled with confusion. She answered, "I don't really know actually. Process of elimination perhaps? Mom would lecture me. Hide… somehow feels wrong to tell. And anyone would probably just judge me and probably refuse to deal with a ghoul lover. For some reason, even though I barely know you… you feel like someone I can trust this with." She then grinned and used her fingers to focus on Ken's head. "Or maybe it's the fact that you'd look awesome in an Eyepatch cosplay." Ken acted irritated and embarrassed. "I would not!" But Maria objected, "No you totally would. Probably get the CCG called on you and everything. A spitting image." She laughed again as Ken huffed.

Ken then asked, "Do you think you'll ever see her again?" Maria stopped laughing but kept her lopsided grin. "Of course. And not that's not just hope. After all I'm going to make it happen. You see it's my dream to make a world where she doesn't need to hide anymore. And we can hang out again. And this time get to know more about each other than just what your favorite playground equipment is." Ken arched his eyebrow. "And how are you going to do that?" She pulled out her bag and pulled out a familiar coffee stained notebook. Ken had seen her working in on more than one occasion. Its pages filled with all sorts of high level biological and chemistry equations and notes that were a little beyond his understanding. "With this," she answered.

As this time Kuro was walking back home after visiting Helter Skelter to buy her brother a nice bottle of fermented blood. He already gone through what he had at the house. So she had decided to earn some little sister points by buying him some and giving it to him tonight. She also got something for herself. Itori had given her a small prototype of a ghoul ice cream made with human breast milk as a base and mixed with flavorings that ghouls could enjoy. She had even made it look realistic enough for Kuro to be able to eat it while on her way without a single human noticing who she passed noticing the truth.

She took another bite and made a satisfied sound. It was worth having to write a page long review for Itori to taste this delectable treat. She even felt a bit like a normal girl for a change instead of a ghoul sucking on a sweet tasting eyeball. She noticed a playground and a small park filled with families and decided to take a break on one of the benches not currently occupied by parents or couples embracing each other.

While she ate she reminisced about when she was younger and the playground she would visit often. About the time she had dropped kicked her older brother off the top of the slide. Or Shiro's multiple faceplants from their competitions to see who could jumped the farthest off the swings. Her parents fondly watching the trio climb over the whole thing. When Takashi would be it and chase the children and even sometimes his wife as well in happy games of hide and seek. The good times.

She then began to think back to that one time during the winter after they lost their parents. When she had run into that brat and gotten suckered into enjoying herself. She realized she hadn't even gotten the girl's name. Kuro wondered if she would ever meet her again or if the girl even remembered her. It had probably been something inconsequential in her life after all. Just another random meeting in the playground to enjoy and be forgotten by the next morning. Kuro hoped she was doing well.

She felt her phone vibrate. She answered and was met with Shiro griping her for taking too long, coming home. "Jeez you're such a worrywart Shiro. I'm fine. Just taking a little break," she assured her worried sister. She began to debate if she could spike Shiro's coffee with some of the blood she had bought to help her loosen up.