5 Chapter 5 - To be a father or not to be a father

The walk back was quiet only the sound of the Emperors footsteps were heard, the rising sun made a collage of colours appear above us. Rays of sunlight bouncing off the castle in a picture that couldn't be caught by even the finest of artists.

My ears were full of my own beating heart, going at a rate I had never experienced with a fully attentive mind. I gulped down dry spit and looked at my quiet father.

That man who was with him earlier said he was rather introverted so maybe I should speak.-

"Did you plan on wandering around like that at night?" He suddenly spoke up, startling me.

"Y- Yes?" I answered before I thought.

"Why?" His voice was low and quiet.

"I-I wanted to explore the castle?"

"At night? Why weren't you in the castle with your mother?"

"She l- lost me. I've- I've been trying to find her this whole time".

Good lie. Good lie.

"Where were your retainers?" He asked.

So many questions.

"I don't have any. I'm too young for them".

He scoffed a bit, not at me, but rather at something else. A thought at the back of his mind.

"A child needs a nanny more than a five year old".

"Oh". He was referring to Victor I assumed.

I guess that wasn't really my fault then...

"Thank you for saving me, dad".

I wanted to say it earlier, but he started to ask all those questions.

He stopped walking and turned his head to me.

"Don't thank me. I've done nothing good to you. Whose fault is it that you were wandering around without any retainer? You could've died had I been a moment too late!" His face finally showed the emotions he withheld. It was a surprise.

"But you showed up and helped me. That's enough for me" I replied hoping to diffuse his anger, it didn't.

He just looked miserable.

"It isn't enough for me. Those words you said at the library and then what happened just now. It proves it. I'm no good as a father" he muttered.

I frowned at the man. It was true he was completely useless as a father. But, he acknowledged that. That takes guts.

His hold on me tightened a bit, as if he held something so small and fragile and yet, so precious. Guilt hit me like a train, here I was stealing the affection Mallory never got. She would've loved this. So much.

I recalled the last chapter of the book. A side story, that told the story of Mallory, her childhood of neglect, how her mothers beating had made her turn to her father for love, but... he never once looked at her. He always praised Jireal, the crown prince, and so she hated her half-brother. Out of jealousy she was driven mad.

But... it made me think how all of that could've been avoided had this man just...

"It's never too late".

The mournful eyes widened at my words.

"You can always start over. Kids are always waiting for their parents eyes to turn to them, because they're really all they know. So it's better to start now rather than never" I found myself patting his coarse hair.

He turned away from me with a face full of thought and with a light almost invisible smile he spoke.

"What type of child speaks like such a wise old lady?"

H- Hey!

"W-What? Excuse me?"

"We're here". He ignored me.

I looked to where he stared and realised we stood in front of the mansion.

"Okay. I'll go the rest of the way myself"

"No".

"I'm okay. I can"-.

"If you could see what your neck looks like right now, you would understand why I'm saying no". He looked at my neck with a remorseful face, I couldn't reject him if he looked so sad.

"O- Oh".

He walked to the door, past the soldiers who saluted at him, throwing me a startled look, and pulled a single key out of his pocket. He stuck it in and pushed open the large doors with ease. It must've weighed a few tons, considering it's size.

The head maid caught sight of me and gasped.

"Your highness!" She curtsied and then to me, she said, "Princess! When did you leave your room?! And your neck?!"

"Get the healer!"

The maid jumped at his unexpected shout and rushed to get the healer.

"Where's your room?" He asked.

I directed him there with clear instruction and soon we came to the door. He opened it wide and just stood there, staring at the room.

"Let's go inside" I turned with furrowed brows to his still face.

"You sleep here?"

"Yes?"

"In this room?- on 'that' bed?"

"Yep".

His teeth clenched, hold on me tightening as he started to raise his voice.

"Therma... That woman! She doesn't care for you, does she? That's why you walk around in thin clothes at night searching for her while she sleeps soundly in bed!" His face became a deep raging red, so much I started to panic.

"W- Wait! Dad! The reason I left was because I didn't realise she came back and the maids don't notice me easily because I'm small. D- Don't shout at her, she cares for me" thankfully, this calmed him.

Obviously, none of that was true. But if she gets reprimanded she'll get even more crazier with the condescending behaviour from the other concubines. And she might even start beating me. And what about poor Victor, all those unnecessarily high expectations. I can't allow that to happen.

He started to stroke my head in short comforting pats, "I'm taking you to my palace".

Eh? That actually doesn't seem too bad... no wait- That's a horrible idea!

With wide eyes I opened my mouth to refuse him, but then just like that, I shut it. His face looked so vulnerable as if he would break if I rejected it. Putting myself in his shoes I presumed he felt like shit and rejecting him would lead to him becoming a shell of a man. So I decided against this.

I could take down those obstacles. After all, they're just children.

"Okay. I want to live you in the palace".

The healer had come by and healed my neck. It made me realise how much I should value my ability to breathe. Because death by no oxygen would be painful. Really painful.

And then I was tucked in a large room in the castle which I was carried to in a careful hold. It was much more luxurious than my old room, but it wasn't really my room at all.

"Stay here until the maid fixes up your room" dad had said and I nodded only because I was really tired. Sleeping in a chair was like not sleeping at all.

I fell asleep, not paying much mind to the small being who slept beside me.

Morning came with chirping birds singing against the window, the sun blocked by heavy drapes somehow still lighting up the room as a sharp finger poked my cheek.

"Is she dead?" A child like innocent voice spoke up.

"No Jirael, she's sleeping", replied what seemed like father.

"This is the best birthday present you've ever got me!" The voice replied, at this point the small face was a bit too close to me. I could hear the excitement so clearly and my tired body was not having it.

"I've never seen you so happy about getting a present. And anyway, she's not a present. She's your sister".

"Eh?! My sister! No wonder she's so smart! Is she going to stay here in my room with me? Can we share?!" I felt the vibrations of his jumping body and groaned.

No. Never sleeping here again.

"Sorry Jirael, but that wouldn't be fair for your sister. I plan to spoil her a lot so just be a bit patient, will you?"

I noticed how the Emperor spoke so relaxedly to Jirael. It was like that man had said, he had walls that needed to break. I couldn't imagine what a shitty childhood you have to have to be guarded around your own kids.

I don't want to be spoiled, though.

It made me feel even more guilty. This man didn't love me. He loved his daughter, and that was Mallory. I'm just an imposter...

My eyes cracked open to see the father and son duo, staring at me with wide identical eyes. Creepy...

"What are you looking at?" I replied in a coarse morning voice.

Jirael grinned at me, "Good morning sister!"

The Emperor just placed a hand on my head, ruffling the morning hair with a concerned face.

"If we're disturbing you, we can leave" he said, lifting Jirael up and standing up himself.

"No. It's okay. I don't want to ruin my sleep schedule", I rubbed my eyes.

"Sleep schedule? Pfft" I heard a laugh behind me and turned to look at the familiar head of wine red hair.

"Eh? It's the creep", that was subconscious on my part, I swear.

"C-Creep?!" He scowled at me, "h-how!"-

"Sorry. I didn't mean to call you that. I don't know your name".

I heard a snigger and turned to look at my father, the Emperor of the Blackburn Kingdom, struggling to contain his laughs.

"B- Brother! Don't laugh! At least reprimand her!" Cried the boy, his face flushing at his brothers snickering.

"But it's true. You haven't introduced yourself". Father replied, with a straight face.

"Ugh... Adrian Blackburn Camellia", he reluctantly said.

I nodded, "Mallory Blackburn".

The introductions felt cold and hostile.

"Mallory, are you hungry?" Asked Jirael who gave me a sweet innocent smile.

"U-Um sure", I stuttered back.

Jirael, in the book never knew Mallory at all. He knew she existed as the only princess, but he paid no mind to her and never bothered to ever greet her. After he started falling for the heroine he encountered her snide remarks and insults and began to despise her. And through a series of events lead to one day where she tried to poison her brother and his beloved and was exposed and later executed by him. Her whole family accepted her death. That included her father who was absent for the execution.

So really, all I have to do is not hate him and let him and the heroine be happy. Until then, be good and kind to these guys, otherwise.... ugh let's not think about it.

The only one I could take my chances with was the Uncle, his story included none of Mallory's attacks and he didn't ever attack her, even when she bullied the heroine. He later confessed that he pitied her, but that was after her death.

"Dad". I spoke out suddenly, breaking away from the boiled egg I held, as I recalled something that might make Luka's life at the village a bit easier.

The man who watched me eat, rather than feeding himself, perked up at his name being called and gave me his attention.

That's good. He'll need it for what I'm about to tell him.

"Those knights from yesterday. They thought I was some kind of bird or something? They even told me to transform. Do you know what that was about?"

Like a thunder had hit the table, his face quickly morphed into a face of anger. He stood up abruptly, moving towards the door.

"That bastard Daniel!" I heard him say.

That was it. That was all that needed to be said.

To explain on what just happened, well, the assassination of Ruby's clan was done by the government. It was something the royals weren't at all aware of because it was something the corrupt governments prime minister, Daniel Craig, had been planning for years in order to obtain a spy that could keep watch the Emperor, without being noticed, and find his weakness.

In the book they found his weakness, which was an item the country had long since banned and any possession of it was illegal. Regardless of the status of the possessor. The author never mentioned what it was, but because of it the government would pull royalty dry of funds and live in luxury.

And then the reverse harems ML, Prince Jirael, would uncover the secret with the help of heroine, punish his father and reconstruct the whole government system, which shockingly Mallory also was an accomplice in as well, according to an accounts book anyway. It was forged, though. By Ruby.

The Bastard... he truly hated Mallory

Anyway, now that I managed to stop them finding the place and dad is aware of their plans, then that shouldn't happen anymore.

I hope anyway.

I rushed to follow after dad, ignoring Jirael who followed me blindly, however, I was stopped a man in heavy armour. He was a knight who guarded the inner palace.

"Hey now kids, you shouldn't bother the Emperor at times like these", the orange haired man spoke with a child like tone, trying to relate to us and failing miserably.

"Take us to our father! That is a command by the Princess of Blackburn!"-

"No can do princess" he cut me of by lifting the both of us up and walking us back to Jiraels room, "the king said you need plenty of rest, and I serve the king. One day I'll take the order of Princess Mallory Blackburn, but not today and not for a long while".

I pouted, meeting eyes with Jirael who gave me an understanding nod.

It sucks to be a baby.

Despite not seeing it, the passing days were filled with the whispers of maids who talked about the newly reformed government. This meant it had gone successfully.

Now I don't have to worry about Ruby! But... there were more matters that needed to be dealt with, in the form of a small child who kept glancing at me all the time.

I glanced back at him after ten long days of this. He flinched at the attention he had been trying to get this whole time and shyly looked away.

It was cute, don't get me wrong. But... why?

"Do you want to do something together? Like play in garden?" I finally offered, his face brightened.

"Let's go!"

Truthfully, I was trying to avoid contact with him as much as possible, but that was proving impossible.

He lead the way and I followed closely by. The retainers that dad had picked followed by closely. Speaking of my father I hadn't seen him at all. It was the same for mother, but I'm pretty sure she hasn't realised I've been missing, yet. Give it until my eighteenth birthday when I can legally get married. She should remember then.

I couldn't even look for dad, though. It wasn't that the palace was just a restrictive place, but I had nannies that followed me everywhere. It was horrible.

"Brother. Do you see father much?" I asked, unlike me who could barely leave my room, Jirael had the freedom of going just about anywhere. This actual two year old was more trusted than me, a bloody 25 year old, including my one year as Mallory!

I'm not enjoying this!

Jirael who was holding the petal of a hydrangea, turned to me with a smile, "only when I need to consult him. Otherwise, I don't see him much. He's been really busy with the government changes".

"What happened with that?" I asked eagerly.

"Well the knights had apparently been blackmailed by the government, who threatened their families lives. The knights are being reprimanded and as for the government," he turned to look at the blooming peonies, "they're being punished for their sins".

I felt a shiver run down my back. Hearing that from a two year old was down right frightening, but that was who Jirael was. He was a genius, who cared little for others lives. The only exception was the heroine.

"Do you know why?"

"Yes", he gave me a wide smile and pressed my nose with his finger, "but you shouldn't need to worry about that Mallory. Father will take care of all the bad guys who hurt you".

I stared at the boy in stunned silence. How much did this child know? It was so hard to wrap my head around a genius child, especially one that looked like a normal toddler.

"Thank you..."

"It's okay. After all, you're my friend".

"Right... friend..."

Why does that word feel so heavy all of a sudden...?

Well, can't get on his bad side now, can I?

I spotted a small pound in the centre of the garden and waddled over to it. Tadpoles swam around hiding under lily pads with swift movements.

"Look here Jirael! Tadpoles!" He came over at my excited call and gasped.

"There's so many of them? What are they? Fishes?" He looked at the with curious eyes.

"No silly. They're tadpoles. They'll become frogs soon" I dipped my hand in the water and watched them swim away at the sudden splash.

"Frogs...? That's so interesting. Nobody ever told me that before?" He looked at me in a look that could almost be called betrayed. I couldn't help but laugh at it.

"That's because it's not such an important thing. But, it's fun to learn about", I chuckled, and then at the right moment I spotted a frog, "look! There's a frog behind you!"

"Where?!" He turned around with a swirl and came face to face with the light green frog, who stared blandly at him through red eyes.

"Ribbit" it burped.

"Extraordinary. A tadpole becomes a frog..." he stared at it in amazement.

"That's right".

The frog hopped closer to Jirael who watched it in patient excitement. He didn't even shout when it hopped onto his leather boot. He just watched it.

"You're really mature".

"Hm?" He silently answered.

"Why don't you touch it?"

"Will it let me?"

"I'm not sure. But give it a try", I shrugged at him.

He leaned down towards it, slowly and carefully. The frog noticed the movement and did what any animal would do.

It jumped away in two large hops.

"I- It left" I heard his voice say in disappointment.

"Hey, you can just try again"-

"Let's go after it!" He declared cutting off my worried consoling.

I watched him run after it, searching the ground with squinted eyes.

He looked so adorable I started to giggle at the sight of his insistent searching.

"I think it's gone..." I laid down the truth as gently as possible, trying to not damper his mood. To my surprise he had a completely different reaction.

"That was fun" he grinned at me, looking more like a child, "Thanks for telling me such interesting things!" Why did that sound so familiar?

"Eh?- you're welcome"- I cut off my sentence mid way in shock, as I realised just why that sentence sounded so familiar.

That was what Jirael said to the heroine. He said those exact words! I looked at the now worried boy with wide eyes.

W-Why did he say that to Mallory?!