1 Madison Million

Every time you mistreat a woman you give up the right to be treated like a man

"Have you ever felt mistreated, used and abused, insecure, or even tired of being lied to, cheated on, or being talk down on"?

I needed to know because I'm really tired and it's full time now I learn to love my self but I just don't know how to sad right? I know my best friend always told me that it's easy to love yourself, but she was never in my shoes and that's where things get complicated.

"Hi my name is Madison Naomi Million I'm nineteen years old short standing at 5'5 dark skin I'm currently attending the Lakes Wale College I live with my mom and little brother at the moment and I'm planning on moving to an apartment so that I can study and sulk around in peace".

I spend most of my time by myself listening to music yes that all I be doing, since my break up I thought my last relationship is my last relationship get it? Yes, Malique decided that he would move halfway across the world and send me a text after a whole month of me stressing about him and wondering if he is ok sad right I know he was my first crush, kiss, boy best friend everything the only thing we didn't do together was having sex and that was a good thing right?

Then noel he came right after my depression with Malique and swept me off my feet " literally" I met him in Walmart one day while I was shopping in the cornflakes aisle he was chasing his nephew while pushing the trolley, and he ran into me and I fell he helped me up apologized after which he offered to buy me lunch as an apology sweet right? I should have declined, but I liked the attention I was getting, the movie dates the late walk to the park yup and even the anniversary gifts I receive each month.

After a year and a half I gave my all to Noel, the sex was good if I may say so but what had me confused was how he started changing up on me after two months later, no text or call for days, no visit no long walk, no photoshoots, we also stopped buying matching outfits.

One day I was talking to him about it, and he got out of character and hit me, I was livid I stormed out of his apartment and went home two days after he apologized bought me a chain we had sex and made up.

The harsh words and beaten increased he started cheating more and we grew apart even further but because of love every time he apologized I took him back. 

That all happened before I went to college even though before I graduated from high school I ended things with him that didn't turn out well but after a few restraining orders and sleepovers in a prison cell, he learned to stay away.

So now I don't have anybody but Johanna by my side along with my mom and little brother but it still feels like it's me alone against the world, my dad died when I was twelve and my brother was one that was the worst day of my life but I tried every day to move past it.

So that I can be a better person and make him proud but it's not working because twelve hours out of the twenty-four I felt like I need to be with him in the cemetery laying on my back, yes I have had dreams about my death that made me appreciate life more but I also had dreams about my own life that made me want to appreciate death more.

Anyways I don't want to bore you i'll tell you more about myself in further chapters but that all me above