2 Hello death my old friend!
*beep*
----
*beep*
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*beep*
"Ugh, I'm awake, I'm awake!"
*beep*
As I turn the alarm I look around my worse for wear apartment and spot the occasional murder scene of my cat feasting on many dead rats...
"Another day another shouting match between the boss and his wife"
I get up from my pathetic excuse for a bed and start getting ready for work, well at least what I'd like to call work but is instead just a shithole full of old men who can't open Moogle (AN: anyone?)
and a sweaty middle-aged man who's hairline is the equivalent of the Sahara Desert.
Ignoring my insanity I quickly get changed eat an apple and a bagel and head out of my dilapidated apartment and start heading towards work. Walking down the stairs and onto the streets I start walking to the other side as I suddenly hear...
[truck noise] *beep* *beep
I look towards the truck and do absolutely nothing thinking that I shouldn't be able to survive this time and finally die and end this miserable existence. I had enough time to move aside and escape with my life, but I didn't want to... finally wishing this was to be the end.
*splat* [dead human on the road]
...
...
...
"Ugh, did I watch too much of 10 yr olds playing fortnite or what because this a killer headache"
"Hello there"
"Wha-"
As I glance around me to see who said that I saw a being of unparalleled power and swagger, ah just kidding it's actually an old man who looks like a hobo outside of Burger King that has just been dumpster diving.
"You are aware I can hear your thoughts and I could smite with my almighty power?"
"Ah, great and merciful kami-sama please believe in your generosity and have it in yourself to forgive me!"
As saying this I do the most perfect 90-degree bow and it would not be out of place in a right-angle triangle.
"Whatever, I was just going to say I am here to grant you 5 wishes and transport you to what you mortals call a 'world of cultivation'", said the old man who was apparently god...
"Riiight, and there's no catch?"
"None"
"None?", I question
"Nada"
"Huh, well give some time to think old man and I'll muster up some grand ideas!", I shouted to particularly no one...
"Yeah, yeah get on with it"
--- 5 yea- 5 hours later
"Alright, old man I thought of my wishes"
"Stop calling me an old man, and just tell me them already I've been waiting here long enough already!"
"Okay, for my first wish is [ Absolute good luck ] - good luck that can't be changed by anyone or anything and will make the user never experience anything that is bad for his growth and will help the user achieve success in anything the user wants whether it is power or wealth!"
"You made an incredibly good choice, this can make you into the most powerful being in any given reality given enough time has passed... and done, what is your next wish?"
"Yeah alright quit yer yapping, my second wish is [Multiverse copy, paste, and delete ] - able to copy and paste and delete anything or anyone that currently exists, existed or will exist, etc. bloodlines, talent, money" as I say this a smug grin appears on my face and contemplate how I am going to get all the bitches in this woefully unprepared world I'm going to be transported to...
"You know I can still hear you right, and the second wish is granted... next one please I don't have all the time in the world"
'You quite literally do as we're existing in what seems to be void'
"Okey dokey, my third wish is [ Unmatched talent ] - unparalleled talent in anything and everything I do, - whether it's cultivating or skipping stones across the ocean - compared to anything that has existed, does exist and will exist!"
As I was about to continue I see the old man looking at me with a deadpanned expression "What?" I said, "Nothing, the wish is granted" and so I continue...
"Kay then, for my fourth wish it is [ Multiverse eyes ] - able to analyze anything about everything in existence!"
"Granted"
"And s- wait nothing else?"
"What do you mean"
"No dead fish eyes or an open mouth large enough to fit a watermelon in?" as I say this I see his lip ever so slightly twitch
"I can still erase the entirety of your existence from reality... do you want that?"
"Ah, no no no I'm fine ha ha ha ha I'll just continue with my wishes"
"Mhh"
"Alrighty, then for my last and final wish I want the [Substantially Grand System / SGS] - a system that doesn't have control over its host *cough cough* and only gives missions that will help benefit host in the long run and also has the usual features of a system like status and of course an infinite inventory!"
"Ugh, fine granted so then do you want to know what world you're going to?"
"Nope, just send me there"
"Well, tough fucking luck I'm going to send you to a lower world so you don't get instantly spotted because of your crazy talent"
"Aww, how thoug-"
I feel weightlessness and then everything goes dark...
---
"You really allowed all those wishes, old friend?"
"I didn't have a choice didn't you hear that the Primal Ancestor God said that I have to grant 5 wishes to that boy whatever they may be"
"Yeah, yeah although must have been difficult for you ey!" a bemused expression fell on the newcomer's face...
"Ahh, shut up those wishes drained all of the energy in the artifact that the Primal Ancestor God gave me and I still had to use a lot of my own energy! That damned brat!"
"Hmm, well we can only stay back and watch his progress can't we"
"Yes, yes we can"
----
Parting over my eyes I can see I am currently inside of a lush forest with beautiful rays of sunshine raining down unto the treetops and as I continue to admire the beauty of my surroundings I hear a mechanical sound...
*beep* *boop*
[ Substantially Grand System bonding with host ]
[34%]
...
[69%] (AN: sorry couldn't help myself)
...
[100%]
[SGB has bonded with host]
[Would host like a tour of my functions?]
"Yes, please" I drool over the thought of becoming a person with so much power and women that I wouldn't know what to do with myself.
[Understood, this the list of all my functions:
- Status
- Inventory
- Shop
- Missions
- Training World
Would host like me to go through any of them?]
"Yeah, system what's the training world I have a general idea of all of the rest?"
[Understood host, the Training World is a dimension where the energy is 10,000x as dense and pure as the energy outside, the time dilation inside the dimension could be adjusted to host's will such as 100 days inside being only 1 day outside, and host can, of course, spend the time in the dimension training your skills.]
My jaw unhinged like a snake's after hearing that description, if used properly then I could become very overpowered.
"Oh yeah, system, open the inventory I wanna see what goodies I have" rubbing my hands together like an old pervert who just saw the sacred garden or the immortal peach.
[Understood host,
Inventory:
- Beginner package
- Memories of the Demon Lord Huan Ji ]
"Huh, when did I get that?"
"Well, whatever system absorb those memories" as I begin to imagine myself flying on a sword through the sky I suddenly lose my vision...
