1 TRAPPED

MAHIRAP palang umibig at ibigin ang isang taong hindi pa tapos magmahal ano? Yung akala mo na susuklian din nito ang pagmamahal mo. At ang hirap kasi matagal ng wala iyong taong mahal na mahal niya. Kasi hanggang ngayon siya pa rin ang laman ng kanyang isip at puso. At kahit kailan, hinding-hindi ko mapapalitan ang taong matagal ng wala at sumakabilang-buhay na.

It's just so odd. I mean like! Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I hurting myself? Do I deserve this?

I don't know! I don't know what to think anymore. I'm thinking silly things that can sting my heart and made me cry. Is that normal? I don't know either! What am I doing this?

I love him and that is all that matters. As long as I live. I will always stay in lone with him no matter what. I will always be loving him until it hurts. And that is not love if there is no pain along the way.

Nagtatanong ang mukhang naghihintay ng sasabihin ko si Janna. "I love him Janna, so much." at parang itong natalo at bumulagta ang mukha sa lamesang inuukupa namin dito sa cafè ko.

"But what about him?" agad niyang bangon at tinanong ako. "Are you having second thoughts about him?" second thought? Like what?

"What?" was all I said to her. Ano ba ang pinagsasabi niya? What second thought does she mean?

"Nasabi na ba ni Aaron na mahal ka niya? Eh, ikaw na mismo ang nagsabi na hindi pa iyon tapos magmahal sa ex niyang matagal ng patay!" yeah shes right. Janna is right. Para akong binuhusan ng isang baldeng white glue sa kinauupuan ko. That hit me. Really hard.

At ang sagot sa tanong ni Janna ay...hindi pa. Because, like what I said, hindi pa siya nakaka-move on sa ex niya. His still into her and no matter what I do and did, I can never replace her in his heart. Never!

"Hindi pa..." mahina kong tugon sa tanong ni Janna sa akin. Napayuko ako at kinagat ang labi ko para pigilan ang nagbabadyang luha na lalabas. I can't stand another tears anymore. That is why I hate myself right now.

Where is the self love Celine?! That has been your motto in love and in life. Always give full love to yourself before giving love to others. But, what is this? This is not you anymore! This is not who you are that you always wanted to be!

Napabugha nalang ng hangin si Janna habang nakatitig sa akin. "Hayyy! That's what exactly I wanted to tell you, Celine. This is not you anymore. You are not like this. The Celine I knew knows where to stand and when to stand! But this Celine in front of me? This is not the Celine I get to know with." at doon na bumuhos ang luhang matagal ko ng pinipigilan. Napahagulhol nalang ako sa iyak habang inaalisa ang mga sinabi ni Janna.

My best friend is right. This is not me anymore. This is the Celine that he wants to be. The Celine that he need. The Celine that he never really wanted to enter his heart. And that hurts. It tearing my heart into pieces like over and over again.

I want the old Celine back. I want her to be back and fight for her love, for herself. But how I'm going to do it? Paano ko mababalik ang dating ako kung mahal na mahal ko pa siya?

"What should I do Janna? You are right. This is not me anymore. This is not the Celine you knew and I know. Itong Celine na nasa harapan mo ay ang Celine na nagpakatanga sa pagmamahal sa kanya. Na kahit alam niyang wala siyang mapapala dito."

"Where should I stand if I still love him? This marriage? Ako ang may pakana nito. Ano ang laban ko sa isang taong matagal ng patay? Ano ang laban ko sa isang taong matagal ng wala? I don't know what to do anymore Janna. I don't know where to stand on this marriage anymore. I felt like I'm being compared to someone that is already dead. I c-ca-can't! Your right Janna. This should be end right now."

          HINATID ako ni Janna pauwi sa amin para masiguro niyang safe ako. And thanks to her I got home just right in time. Safe and sound.

Bago palang ako makapasok ng tuluyan sa loob ay bumungad agad sa akin ang baritonong boses ni Aaron. "Where did you go?" may kung anong diin sa boses niya na hindi ko mahagilap. He is always like this and must stay silent, never talk to him and leave.

"I'm talking to you Celine! Wear some manners when I'm talking to you!" sigaw niya habang papalapit siya sa akin galing sa sala ng bahay namin.

"What? Are we talking about manners?" napatigil siya mismo sa kanyang sasabihin. Manners huh? Big deal. "Really, Aaron? Manners?" tumalikod ako sa kanya papuntang kusina at padabog na binato ang dala kong bag sa counter. Sinundan naman niya ako.

"Eh, putang manners pala iyan eh! I just arrived home right in time! At wag mo akong pagsalitaan ng ganyan! Ikaw..." dinuro-duro ko siya para malaman niya na walang kwenta ang mga pinagsasasabi niya. "Ikaw dapat itong my manners sa ating dalawa! Ikaw dapat itong may delikadisa sa pamamahay natin! Your treating me like Im not here, and your mad just asking me where did the fucking I go?! What the fùck Aaron! Really?" napahilamos nalang ako sa mukha ko at napahagulhol ng iyak. Ayoko na. Hindi ko na kaya. Ang sakit-sakit na.

"Alam kong pinilit ko lang ang kasal na ito Aaron pero hindi ko deserve ang masaktan ng ganito. Naisip ko na I deserved better than this. I deserved to be love." patuloy pa rin ako sa pag-iyak habang siya ay nasa sa likuran ko. "I deserved to be treated like a princess and like a queen. I deserved to be love fully, not like this. I deserved everything far from this. And you dont deserved me. Yeah, I made a mistake. This is all a mistake. Alam ko naman na wala akong mapapala sa iyo eh. Eh, hindi mo nga ako nirerespeto eh!" humarap ako sa kanya para makita niya kung gaano ako nasasaktan sa mga ginagawa niya. Pero nagulat ako sa mga nakita ko. Pain is visible in his eyes. Like I've hurt him badly. Pero hindi siya ang nasasaktan dito, ako ang mas nasasaktan sa amin na dalawa. Mas ako ang nasaktan dito.

"So your giving up on this marriage?" should I? Dapat na ba akong bumitaw sa kasal na ito?

"Dapat na ba kitang palayain?" balik-tanong ko sa kanya. Papalayain ko na ba siya?

I want the old Celine to be back at para magawa ko iyon kailangan kong magsakripisyo. "Pagod na ako Aaron. Pagod na ako sa kahihintay sayo. Napagod na ang puso ko. Hindi ko na alam kung saan ako lulugar diyan sa puso mo. Hindi ko na alam kung matututunan mo pa ba akong mahalin. Pero alam kong malabo, kasi, ano ba ang laban ko sa taong matagal ng patay?!" this is right. This must end. Kailangan kong palayain siya at ang sarili ko sa imahinasyong mamahalin niya ako.

"Tama na Aaron. Ayoko na. Punong-puno na ako. Ayoko nang masaktan ng paulit-ulit. Nakakapagod na ang ganoon. Ako na lang palagi ang naghihintay sa iyo. Ikaw nalang palagi ang iniintindi ko. Sayo nalang palagi nakatoon ang buhay ko. I lean so much on you to the point that you're the one that broke me hard. Hindi ko na kaya Aaron. Kaya times up na ako. I concede defeat on this game." yes, I concede kasi ako ang unang nagmahal kahit alam kong may mahal na siyang iba. I concede kasi mahina ako, kasi hindi ko napanindigan ang pinangako ko. I concede kasi this time pinaparaya ko na siya.

Aalis na sana ako papuntang kwarto namin ng magsalita ulit siya.

"Is this what you want Celine?" was all he can utter and that made me stop in the middle of leaving him this time.

Hindi ako makagalaw. Parang napako ako sa kinatatayuan ko. Is this really what I want? "No, this is what you want Aaron. Because right from the start you never loved me. You always ignore me, ditch me, and humiliate me if there is any chance or must I say most of the time. You want this Aaron and I'm giving you the chance to leave me with my permission. You always want this kasi hindi ka pa tapos na mahalin ang matagal ng patay." and right this time lumakad ako sa hagdan patungo sa kwarto namin. Gusto ko man na pigilan niya ako pero hindi niya ginawa. Siguro hindi nga niya talaga ako minahal. Kasi kung mahal niya ako pipigilan at pipigilan niya ako sa gagawin ko pero umasa na naman ako sa wala.

Pagpasok na pagpasok ko sa kwarto namin ay umalingasaw agad ang amoy ni Aaron sa loob. Para itong isang druga sa akin. I'm not getting used enough of his scent. It so manly and him. But, from the four corner of this room all I can reminisce is the ignoring and ditching moments in my life. He never treated me like he owns me. He never said good morning nor did a good morning kisses every time we woke up in the morning. Or hug me while sleeping. I never experienced that.

Napahagulhol ulit ako ng iyak tapos kinuha ang mga gamit ko sa cabinet at pinasok sa isang maleta. Bumaba ulit agad ako at nakita ko siyang nakaupo sa sofa habang nakatalikod sa akin.

Pipihitin ko na sana ang doorknob ng pinto ng magsalita siya ulit. "Sorry Celine... Please forgive me... I'm really sorry for all I did to you... Sorry..." I'm done. No more turning back. This won't fix the situation we're in right now. All we need is space and time for it to heal and be ready for our future. I know it may take us long enough to realize, but this would be better for us both. This is all I need as much as him. If this will continue, patuloy lang namin na masasaktan ang isat-isa. Siguro dito na magtatapos ang lahat.

"Your sorry is over due now Aaron. Your sorry wont heals the scar you made to my heart. The wound you did. Ito naman ang gusto mo diba? Ang mawala ako sa landas mo? Kaya ito na, ako na ang aalis. Wala ka na dapat na ipag-alala pa. Your free now." thats it I'm totally leaving him for good. For us to recalibrate ourselves. For us to change for our own goods. It may be hurt but I'll have to make it for myself. For my heart and so that I can give more love and time to my self. Self-love ikanga nila.

Akmang pipihitin ko na sana ng tuluyan ang pinto nang bigla nalang niya akong hilahin papasok ng bahay at kinulong sa mga bisig niya. "Please Celine... Is this really what you want?" tanong niya ulit sa akin habang ang magkabilang kamay niya ay nasa pisngi ko. Pinatitig niya ako sa kanya.

"No, Bu--" he stops in the mid-sentence with his lips pressed on mine. It's like--I mean it's new to me like imp floating with his kiss. So this is what it feels to be kissed by the person you love. And this is the first time I tasted his lips. Am I going to leave him? Really? He keeps on moving his lips on mine and I don't know how to response him.

This my first time to kiss by him and I'm all blank. I went blank but I like the feeling to be kiss by him. How could his kiss melt all the sorrow and anger that I felt for him? It seems that Im being hypnotize by him through his kisses.

"Please don't leave me... I can't live without you on my side. Please stay..." all he can utter and continue cuffing my lips on his. At first it was gentle until it became torrid and screaming for more. Then he carries me like a bride while still kissing and he walk me back to our sacred place, our haven and our shelter where all I imagined and wished will become true.

Hope I will not regret this...

          6 years later...

"Mommy! Mommy!" it was Jaden that running after his brother Jacob.

"What is it honey?" I grab him and I let him sit on my lap while Jacob is staring at him intently and Jaden is making faces back on him.

Really? This two? Napatawa nalang ako sa mga anak ko. This two really a bully to each other. Naguunahan nga lang ang dalawa eh. Hindi ko alam kung kanino nila ito nakuha. Well, not on me because I know to myself that Im not a bully way back then.

Natawa nalang ako ng sobra ng pinagbu-bully pa rin ni Jaden ang kapatid na si Jacob. "What happened?" I asked Jaden whos now playing my hair.

"Ninang Janna told us about a guy name Mr. Dellava. Who is he Mom?" nagulat naman ako sa tanong ni Jaden sa akin. "And ninang Janna told us about him already. Is he the one who hurt you Mom?" segunda naman ni Jacob. Shît talaga itong si Janna.

"Wait lang baby ah. Mommy's going to call someone." binaba ko si Jaden at hinanap ang cellphone ko sa bag.

I pressed the quick dial and two rings after Janna answer my call. "What the hell Janna?!" bungad ko agad sa kanya.

"What?" seriously? What?

"Talaga Janna? Bakit mo sinabi sa mga bata ang tungkol kay Aaron? Really?" ano ba ang pumasok sa utak niya at sinabi nito sa mga anak ko ang tungkol sa nakaraan namin ni Aaron? Matagal na itong nakabaon sa hukay at kinalimutan ko na!

"Okey... Sorry! Hindi ko naman alam na magtatanong sila eh. I mean I slipped when I told them about a guy at nasabi ko sa kanila ng pangalan ng ama nila." napabugha nalang ako ng hininga. This is--I mean, I know, but this is not the right time for them to know about their father. I'm still not ready yet. At hindi pa ko handa na makita siya after 6 years that had passed.

Tinapos ko ang tawag at agad bumalik ako sa loob pero iba na ang naabutan ko. Jaden and Jacob habang ang wallet ko ay hawak nilang dalawa. There, a picture both of us, a wallet size wedding picture together with Lynus on it.

Fudge! They knew. "I'm right Jacob. He is our Dad. Look at him, his handsome like us" rinig niyang sabi ni Jaden sa kapatid peri si Jacob ay nakatulala lang at wala sa sarili.

"He hurt our Mom! I hate him!" at tinapon ni Jacob ang wallet niya sa sahig at mabilis na tumakbo pataas patungo sa kwarto niya. Agad naman akong nakita ni Jaden. "Sorry Mom. We got curious about him and we know that he is our Dad. We knew since we've got curios about him. Only his name that tita Janna told us. And, we've kind trying to reach him and he reply to us right away and a month ago he got some of our hair for DNA and he said it's positive. Sorry Mommy." nakayukong binalik ni Jaden ang picture sa loob kung saan ito nakalagay and he handed me my wallet at naglakad na nilampasan ako.

"Jaden?" humarap ako para tanungin siya. "Does he also know where we live?" was all I can asked. And I think I know the answer but I still need it coming from them.

"Yes Mom... and Dad is giving us toys secretly with out the know of you. And every time he does, Jacob always did the opposite like tearing the toys apart and throw it away." parang nadurog ang puso niya sa sinabi ni Jaden. They really knew about him. And here I am knowing and assumed that he'll never know.

Parang isang bagsakan lang. Itong lahat na kinatatakutan ay mangyayari na.

Ang daming 'what ifs' na tumatakbo sa utak ko and the biggest one is, what if kunin niya sa akin ang mga bata? Paano kung...

Para akong natulos sa kinatatayuan ko. Agad akong umakyat sa ikalawang palapag ng bahay at agad akong nagimpaki ng mga gamit namin. I need to take them away from him. I don't want to see my kids hurting like he did to me back then. I want them to be happy and distance to him is what we need to be able to.

He doesn't love our Jaden and Jacob just as he didn't love. He just used me to be on top. That's why we need to get away here, to get away from him.

Tumakbo ako papunta sa kwarto ng mga anak ko para sabihing aalis kami. "Jaden, Jacob! We're leaving! Now!" I was raging in anxiety. There are so many scenarios that is spinning in my mind right know.

Agad namang nagbihis at nagayos ang dalawa at dali-daling lumabas ng kwarto nila. With out any questions ask. My kids really know that what to do. I just admired how obedient they are and they can be. Because Im doing this for the both of them so that he can't hurt them like he did to me in the past.

Dali-dali kaming bumaba habang dala-dala ko ang mga gamit sa iisang maleta. Pero nagulat ako sa naabutan namin sa baba.

Jaden instantly run to him and he carried Jaden like he longing for the kids. He kissed and sniffed Jaden like he just met him right now.

"You are running again?" Naeenjoy pa sana ako sa ginagawa ng mag-ama nang binaba niya si Jaden at kinuha ang maleta na dala-dala ko.

"We can talk later. And this time, please no running away. I don't know what to do if you leave me this time just because your scared or something. I want us back and I want a sincere talking." Nakatitig siya sa akin habang sinasabi ang mga salitang iyon. Is he pleading or commanding me, or something? Para akong napako sa kinatatayuang sinundan ko nalang ang papalayong bulto ni Aaron na papalabas ng bahay namin.

Ninyugyog naman ako ng anak ko. "Mommy? Are we going after him?" Jacob asked me like he doesn't want to. I don't know what to say and what to do. How come is it easy to him?

          IT'S been two weeks since we moved here or I should say our house. Malumanay naman ang takbo, at ang mga anak ko ay feel na feel nila ang bahay ng kanilang ama. And Lynus seems to be fun of them and love them having around, or was just a show para matakpan ang konsensya niya? I don't know!

As much as possible ayokong ako ang una na kumausap sa kanya. Siya ang may kasalan sa aming dalawa--oo may pagkukulang din ako pero alam niya ang dahilan kung bakit ko siya iniwan noon.

Hindi rin kami nagsasama sa iisang kwarto. I think hindi pa rin niya nalilimutan ang unang babae na mahal na mahal niya. I know! Yeah, it hurts but I need to bear it for my kids. They are the one that make me stay saint all the time.

Pagising ko sa kwarto namin ng mga anak ko ay wala na sila. Hindi man lang nila ako ginising. Pero may nakalagay na note sa gilid ng lamp table.

"I am taking the kids for a jog. Don't worry I'm not taking them away from you. I love you." -Aaron

Para akong napako sa huling nabasa ko. Hinilamos ko ang mga kamay ko sa mukha ko para masigurong totoo ba ang nabasa ko. And it's really real and clear.

I love you? Kikiligin na ba ako? That is the first time he said 'I love you' to me without asking him. Is he for real? Akala ko hindi pa siya nakakamoved on?

Uminit naman ang aking pisngi nang inulit ko itong binasa. It's really there. The three letter word that only couple would say to each other.

Agad akong bumangon at naligo. Bumaba agad at nagluto ng agahan. Lulutuin ko ang paborito ng mga anak ko. Adobong baboy. They will love it!

"Aling Trina, ako na po ang magluluto." Naghugas naman ako ng kamay bago simulan ang paluluto ng adobong baboy. "Magsaing nalang po kayo ng kanin Manang. Ako na po dito. Para makapag-pahinga naman kayo." Kinuha ako ang baboy sa loob ng ref at sinimulan itong hati-hatiin sa maliliit na piraso.

"Sige iha. Magiingat ka ah. Tawagin mo lang ako kapag may kailangan ka. Doon lang ako sa kwarto ko." At pumanhik si Manang Trina sa kwarto niya.

"Okay po Manang. Magpahinga na po kayo." Ngumiti ito sa akin at iniwan ako sa kusina para magluto.

After 15 minutes. Tapos na akong nagluto at sakto naman ang dating ng mag-ama.

Pumanhik agad sa akin si Jacob ng nakasimangot. "Mommy? Can I be with you all the time?" Nagulat naman ako sa tanong ni Jacob.

"Why baby? Is there something wrong?" Hindi na nasagot ni Jacob ang tanong nang biglang may humila sa akin galing sa likod.m at nabagsak ako sa mga bisig na hindi ko inakala--kay Lynus.

"Why are you always grabbing Mommy to me? I'm the who came first old man." Hindi na ako nagulat sa inasal ni Jacob. Jacob always does this. Siguro hindi pa niya tanggap si Lynus, pero itong si Jaden, nako sobrang gusto niyang gayahin ang ama niya. He seems to be a good character to his child but not to Jacob. This the perks of having a genius family. Ako lang yata ang hindi matalino dito.

Hindi naman nagpatalo si Lynus sa anak niya. "Well your Mommy is mine and she's always be mine. And besides we can have her anytime we want. It's like she's going to run for us. Right baby?" Nagulat naman ako sa mga sinabi niya. Totoo ba itong naririnig ko? Sweet words coming to him? God! Tell me? Am I dreaming?

"Okey madaling kausap. No adobong baboy for you old man. Your taking Mommy away from me." Kinuha ni Jacob ang adobong baboy na nasa kitchen table at dinala ito sa hapag. Embracing it like it will take it away from him.

"Whoa! Easy child, that is not fare. Im also eating that. It also my favorite." Pumanhik naman si Lynus sa lamesa at pinakawalan ako sa pagkakayakap sa likod. Father and son thingy. Si Jaden naman ay simple lang na umiinom ng tubig sa gilid at nakikinig sa bangayan ng mag-ama.

"Just black mail him again Dad." Bulalas naman ni Jaden at nilagay sa lababo ang basong ginamit. Nagtaka naman ako sa sinabi niya.

Tumingin naman si Aaron sa akin at nakakunot noo lang akong nakatitig din sa kanya. What is happening to them?

"Mom this old man is doing it again!" Sumbong ni Jacob sa akin habang yakap-yakap pa din ang adobong bahoy na niluto ko kanina. Doing it again? Really? What is it?

Let's find out. "Give me that Jacob. Wala kakain sa inyong tatlo! Umagang-umaga nagbabangayan kayo! Give me that. I'm the one will be eating this. Cook for yourself." At sabay silang nagreklamong lahat.

"Mom that is not fair. I'm not kasali to them." Saad ni Jaden. Tinapunan ko lang siya ng masamang titig.

"That is not fair Honey." Si Lynus. Tinignan ko lang siya ng masama. Isa pa ito isip bata!

"I'm hungry Mommy. I want to eat na." Iniwan ni Jacob ang adobong baboy sa lamesa at naglalambing na yumakap sa akin.

"You know Dad? Jacob always does that lambing to Mommy. And Mommy always sigh in defeat because he can't resist Jacob's cuteness." Rinig kong bulong ni Jaden sa ama nitong sintu-sinto. Tinignan naman ni Aaron ang anak na parang nagseselos. Really? Nagseselos siya sa anak niya. For what?

"I envied him kid." Kausap niya sa anak niyang isa.

Kinarga ko naman si Jacob sa akin. "Jaden ready the table. We're eating breakfast." Sumunod naman si Jaden sa utos ko habang si Aaron ay nakatayo lang na nakatitig sa aming dalawa ni Jacob.

"What?" Tanong ko sa kanya. Nagulat naman ito at umupo sa round table habang si Jaden ay inaayos ang mga kubyertos.

"Sit on the chair baby. We're eating." Sumunod naman si Jacob. "Jacob start the prayer." Utos ko kay Jacob.

Sinimulan naman ni Jacob ang panalangin at sabay-sabay na kaming kumain ng agahan.

Pagkatapos kumain ng dalawa nilang anak ay isa-isa nilang dinala ang mga pinggan sa sa lababo at nagsitakbuhan sa kani-kanilang mga kwarto para maligo. Yes! Tag-iisa sila ng kwarto. Aaron wants to spoil the twins at I dont like it. Kasi nawawala sa alituntunin ang mga anak nila kapag ganoon ang pagpapalaki sa kanila. They need to know the house holds chores and ethics inside the house. It is the most important lesson they need to learn aside from school.

Eh, palagi pa rin na binibigyan ng ama nila eh. But, Jacob seems to aloof to his Dad. Tinatanggap niya ang mga bagay na binibigay niya dito pero parang hindi naman masaya ang anak sa natanggap. Kung hindi lang sana sinabi ni Janna ang nangyari sa akin noon edi sana hindi ganoon ang anak sa ama niya. Sometimes he leaves it and never touch it. Hindi ko alam kong anong nangyayari sa anak namin. That is why he need to find it out.

Naghuhugas siya ng pinggan nang biglang may hinay-hinay na mga kamay na umakapa sa kanya galing sa likod and it was Aaron hugging him.

"I miss you..." was all he can say that stops me from what Im doing. "And I'm sorry also..." doon na ako humarap sa kanya and to think na wala siya pangitaas na damit.

"For what?" Makabuluhan kong tanong sa kanya. Sorry? And I miss you?

"Sorry kasi simula noong inuwi ko kayo dito sa bahay ag hindi na tayo nakapag-usap na dalawa. Mas inuna ko ang mga bata kesa sayo. Sorry." hinawi niya ang nakadagang buhok sa mukha ko. "I'm sorry because I was a jerk back then. I'm sorry because I hurt you badly and deeply to the point that I'm the one who destroyed you. Sorry because I ignored you back then, but still you stayed for me and always there for me.

Alam kong may mga tanong diyan sa isipan mo at kinakailangan ko iyang masagot lahat. Kahit anong tanong pa iyan. Sasabihin ko sayo ng buong pagmamahal at katapatan. Sasagutin ko lahat ng tanong ng totoo at walang bahid ng kasinungalingan. Just please love me back and stay with me forever..."

And if you run again, I will never-ever let that happen again. Hindi ko na talaga alam ang gagawin ko kapag umalis ka pa. Lalo na sa mga anak natin. Please don't leave me again. I will be true to you and love you for all of my life. I will treasure you and our children for the rest of my life. Kayo ang una kong aatupagin at aalagan ko kayo sa abot ng aking makakaya. Ibibigay sa inyo ang lahat ng gusto niyo, huwag niyo lang ipadama sa akin ang naranasan ko noon nung umalis ka habang hindi ko alam ang dinadala mo. I don't want to be lost again. Now that I have found you. Hindi ko hahayaan na mawala ka pa ulit..." hawak niya ang magkabilang pisngi ko while confessing his feelings towards me. Until now hindi ko pa rin lubos maisip na nangyayari to.

Noong dumating pa lang kami dito. Todo arufmga na agad si Aaron sa amin. He's doing everything for us. He cooked for us, taking care of us and made us comfortable. Then love came next. Hindi ko inakala na kasama na pala ako doon. Hearing his confession answers all my questions in my mind.

Ayoko ng balikan ang nakaraan. Ayoko ng simhutin ulit ang sakit na dinanas ko kasabay ang hirap na nanonoot sa puso ko. What I want is to cherish this moments and day, months years and decades to come for us. Kahit sa mga anak lang namin, okey na ako...

Hinawi ko anhmg buhok niya at kasunod na pinahid ang mga luhang hindi ko inaasahan na umagos sa mga mata niya. Seeing him cry still hurt me to the bone pero masaya kasi ako na ang dahilan kung bakit siya umiiyak.

Really time can heal all the wounds but our mind can't forget everything, but it's up to you to deal with it.

Hinawi ko ang pisngi niya at pakyang ngumiti. "Hindi naman nawala ang pagmamahal ko eh. Dahil hindi kita malimot-limot. Lalo na sobrang kamukha mo ang dalawa. Totally carbon copy.

Hindi koi namalayan na mas lalo pa kitang minahal dahil binigay mo sa ang mga anghel sa buhay ko. They are the one that reminds me of you. At sila ang dahilan kung bakit mahal na mahal pa rin kita."

"Fuck our past! Fuck everything in this world, just dont screw it up this time and we will stay forever with you. We will love you and support you. I know in the near future, mag-aaway tayo, hindi magkakaunawaan pero kakayanin natin--aayusin natin. This time we will work hard for this to last forever. No more pain and more to love. Alright?" Hinawi ko ulit ang buhok niya at pinahid ulit ang mga luha na kanina pa umaagos sa mukha niya. Seeing him cry reallt hurt me.

I hope this time no more pain and agony. I hope this time this will work for the both of us. Because God knows how I really want this to happen.

"Yes baby... I know I dont deserved you, but fûck I want you! I want you dor myself and I dont share, except for the twi ofcourse." He chuckeled and this time he sealed me with his hot kiss and fire burning touch. "I want you baby. I really want you." His hands keep on touching every part of my body until it caused me to moan for more.

God knows how I really want this and Im giving my self the benefits I really deserved.

"I love you Celine. I promise to love you forever. Madly and deeply until it causes me to be crazy over." He said between our kisses. Binuhat niya ako at pinulupot ko ang dalawa kong binti sa katawan niya. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang sabik na sabik niyang alaga sa pagitan ng mga hita ko. And it makes me feel hot buy just poking and pressing my core to his manhood.

We just keep on kissing, lapping until we reached his bed room and continue what we're doing inside.

And a thought came in my mind, I think this the fresh start of something new for us and Im looking forward to it to happen.

The End

Date started: November 9, 2019

Date ended: November 20, 2019