5 Trapped By A... CROCODILE!?

So...

You may be wondering how I got into this situation.

Basically, I was minding my own business, swimming in a swimming pool, then suddenly, out of nowhere...A CROCODILE... FALLS into the SWIMMING POOL... from the SKY... A CROCODILE FROM THE SKY.

Let's go back to where this all started shall we?

"Ahhh, lying in the pool is so relaxing."

At that moment in time, the once blazing sun was outcasted by a shadow.

"It's getting dark, the weather forecast said there wasn't supposed to be cloudy today, well I suppose even they can be wrong at times, can't they?"

I closed my eyes still relaxing in the pool, something like that isn't going to stop me from enjoying this well-deserved break, after all the guys who ganged up on me gave me this ticket as an apology.

*CRASH*

The water in the pool spilt everywhere, I was flung into the air then set back into the pool by gravity, I hit the concrete part of the pool as all the water was splashed out.

"What in the heave-..."

In front of me, was a Sarcosuchus.

*metaphysical me puts on glasses*

For those who don't know, a Sarcosuchus is a gigantic crocodile that was alive 122,000,000 (million) years ago.

*metaphysical me goes away and storytelling me comes back.*

"WHY IS THERE AN EXTINCT CROCODILE IN A SWIMMING POOL!?"

The crocodile then looked around and saw me, now we are up to date let's see what I'll do next.

*Goes back to present me*

"This may be a bit crazy, but I've seen that look before...IT'S THIS CRODILE'S MATING SEASON!"

*Author comes into the fray*

I am severely questioning what I'm doing in life. Do I write about a trap being raped by an extinct crocodile, or do I not? Ahh, screw it, let's get weirder with every chapter haha!

*Author goes out of the fray*

I must find a way to stop this crocodile!

I punched it with all my Main Character Strength!

I forgot one major point... the whole point of this story is that the main character is the weakest and most vulnerable character out there...

The crocodile puts one claw on my lip and then knocks me out, the last thing I could see on his face was the wide grin on its face.

I woke up in the hospital.

"Why am I in the hospital?!"

"Well... it's hard to explain..."

"No, please tell me"

"It's easier if I just show you the video"

The doctor showed me a video of me being unconscious while a Sarcosuchus raped me from behind.

"N-No way"

"Hey, let's look on the bright side, at least you're famous now"

I look at the views... it has 8,000,000,000 (Billion) views

"N-N-NOOOO I WAS TRAPPED BY AN EXTINCT DINOSAUR IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE!!!"

"Oh, and there are some scientists waiting to extract the DNA from inside you, as this is an extremely rare situation, the government has decided that you have no option to refuse, terribly sorry"

"wait... WHAAAAAT!?!?!?!"