Loli-Confucius

In a place near yet far from Earth….. there was an all-white room filled with a thick layer of fog, of which both seemed to extend far into the horizon. On the floor of this seemingly infinite room lay a typical 16 or 17-year-old Japanese High School teen wearing his school uniform.

"Ouch…. Ow ow….. I feel like I got hit by a truck…. What happened?" the teen mumbled to himself as he struggled to stand back up.

"Ah…. you woke up much sooner than I expected you to."

"Where?!"

The young teen looked all over for the source of the voice, but he couldn't find anything through all this thick fog.

"Over here, young one."

The mysterious voice, of which was that of a woman, came from behind the high schooler.

"Who….. who are you?" the teen asked as his voice became filled with fear.

When the young teen turned around, he saw an enormous feminine shadow at least 2.5 times the size he was standing in the fog.

"Ah yes…. I was hoping to have finished creating a more comfortable environment before you woke up….. but let's get rid of this fog."

The owner of the feminine voice made a finger-snap, and the fog disappeared as though it was blown through a vent. A brightly lit white room with no signs of a light source was all that was left after it cleared.

"Where are you?" the teen said in a somewhat calmer tone of voice.

"I haven't moved."

The teen turned his head to his left, then he turned it to his right, and he even looked behind him, but there was no sign of the owner of the voice.

"Look down." The owner of the voice said in a slightly annoyed tone.

The teen looked down to see a girl no younger than 9 years old and no older than 11 stand a foot and a half away from him. She was like a beautiful Chinese doll with skin flawless like jade, hair black like a raven's feather, and yet oddly enough she was wearing….

"Little girl, you look adorable in your Confucianism robes…. but is your big sister or perhaps your mother nearby for me to tal-"

The little girl got angry by the teen's comments and stomped with her tiny feet on that of the feet of the rude teen.

"Ahhhhhh!!!! Ow ow…. How are you so strong with such a little body?!!" the teen yelled as he gasped in pain.

"By following The Great Way, naturally I its founder am granted many gifts Ren Suzugamori." the little girl pridefully declared as she puffed out her chest, "Besides…. I'm old enough to be your family's Old Ancestor several times over."

"How do yo-"

"You are Ren Suzugamori, 16 years of age, you live alone in the China Town district of Tokyo, and because of this, you are constantly mistaken for being Chinese despite several generations of your ancestors having ever copulated with foreigners. You also stash your 'magazines' behind a fake wall in your bathroom sink. Would you like me to say when you first wet the bed?"

"Who…. who…. are you?" Ren asked as he didn't want his black history to repeated back to him by a little girl.

"Oh, you already know who I am young one… you already commented on the robes my followers wear."

"Followe….. wait…. you…. you're Confucius…. It's not nice to lie, little girl." Ren said in disbelief, "Confucius is a man in the history books."

"Balls…. That scraggly old fu…. Ahem…. I mean… the object of a superior person is the truth, but to get people to listen to the truth in that patriarchal society… I needed as the people from the country of that America say… a patsy… in exchange, he got food, fame, and a place in history while he helped spread my truth to guide people of all lives to a better way to live."

"But I mean…"

"No more questions…. We're not here for me!" Confucius yelled, "Ahem….. my apologies for raising my voice young one as it had been a long time since I directly conversed with a mortal."

"Yes, ma'am," Ren said nervously.

"Now then... haven't you realized where you are?

"Oh, yeah….. now that you mentioned it… where am I? And what's with this gigantic white room?"

"You woke up saying you feel like that you got hit by a truck young one…. because well… you died because a truck hit you."

"I'M DEAD?!!!"

"Young one… heaven means to be one with God after all."

"Wait…. I remember now… that crazy Confucianism dressed lady that kept trying to recruit me into her cult… I-"

Confucius once again found herself angered by Ren's words and promptly pulled a fan out from within her robes.

"The Great Way I had painfully and carefully spread across countless mortal realms…. IS NOT A DAMN CULT!!!" Confucius yelled as she jumped up and smacked the impudent teen on the head with her fan.

"Sorry… sorry… oh, great Confucius….. I don't mean to be rude…. It's just this is a lot to take in."

"It is difficult for those souls conscious of the fact that they're about to enter samsara, so I have never been concerned with other men lacking knowledge of me; I will only be concerned with my own desires and abilities." Confucius said as she once again puffed up her chest in a prideful fashion, "Ahem….. after this descendant disciple of mine annoyed you… or rather despite annoying you…. you still sacrificed your life for her."

"Well, I mean….. no one deserves to go out like that."

"After I died on Earth…. a powerful god…. one of many, and all of whom make the gods of our world look like a peasant militia, was moved by my cause and used a powerful technique to split my soul into many pieces and sent them through the cycle of reincarnation so I may spread Confucianism across many worlds. When he did so… he that used the fragment of my soul he kept in the heavenly realm to change my appearance to the form I had at the start of my journey, and…. now that I have spread my truth…. I like to observe how random followers of mine spread the knowledge of The Great Way." Confucius explained, "and after seeing you sacrifice yourself…. I pulled you into this place between the living and the dead for a chat."

"So you were bored?" Ren bluntly asked.

"I… sh-shut up… don't disrespect your elders' youngster." Confucius said in an ashamed tone, "Your virtue is not meant to standalone, so I shall reward you a chance to practice it in another mortal world in comfort and riches."

"Wait…. you will reincarnate me into another world….. getting isekai'd is a thing?!!!"

"Hmm… have other mortals of Earth gone through reincarnation into different realms?" Confucius asked.

"Ohhh uhh….. as a mortal… well… I wouldn't… well… know if they have." Ren nervously answered, "It's just… the concept of being reincarnated into another world is a popular premise used by a lot of writers…. Usually, these people are granted cheats by the gods/goddesses of their unknown world that allow them to live a comfortable life."

"A cheat? Oh… I see… you mean something like a token given to someone to make their journey through life easier."

"Uhhh… yes."

"Ah…. in that case it will be a simple matter for me to grant you a divine blessing for your next life. Let's see…. since you were unlucky enough to have your life taken away early…. I shall grant you a blessing to 'that' effect."

Loli-Confucius caused an orb of bright golden light to emerge from her body after yet another finger snap, but it didn't stay between her and Ren for long as it quickly entered the latter's body.

"Will…. Will it hurt?" Ren asked.

"Fear not young one… for I have granted you the blessing of-"

Loli-Confucius suddenly stopped speaking mid-sentence and turned her head to look over her shoulder as if having noticed or seen something unusual.

"My apologies young one, but it seems one of my incarnations had unexpectedly died. I must cut our conversation short to address that."

"Wait!!! You haven't explained what my chea-"

"Remember, young one… even if you chose to hate Confucianism in your next life, I hope that you at least embody the five aspects of a perfect virtue unique to yourself." Confucius declared as she snapped her fingers for one last time.

An enormous hole appeared under Ren upon that finger snap, and in the split-second, before gravity took effect Ren could see on the other side of that portal it was late into the night and high in the air over some unknown complex.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ren screamed as the portal closed behind.

Thus with the closing of that portal, silence filled the empty white room instead of Ren's screams of terror.