Freedom?

Before she even saw A'Hong's look of disappointment, Kesi already knew that he had seen everything. This show was meant to be watched after all, and she needed A'Hong to realize the true faces of his family so that he could finally make up his mind to seek revenge.

But when she saw the terrible sadness in his eyes, she suddenly wondered if she was wrong for ripping off this bloody band aid.

He half stumbled across the field, watching as his mother choked out the grounded meat. His frail figure quivering, and his much too loose robes dangling along the ground, he looked like a scarecrow flailing in the wind.

"This was a trick!" Before he even had the chance to speak up, his brother's accusations rang out. "What sort of son are you! What sort of son would play such a cruel trick on his own elderly mother!"

A'Hong's lips trembled.

Casting a look at Mu Luming, Kesi wondered if she should step in. She knew that A'Hong had to step over the hurdle himself, but maybe she could give himself a slight push…

"I'm more of a son that you ever will be."

Despite the pasty white look on his face, A'Hong's voice was clear, each and every word enunciated perfectly from his chapped lips.

"I know that none of you think of me as family anymore. Not a son. Not a brother." His eyes reddened as he forced his tears back, telling himself that he couldn't make himself look any weaker in front of these people than he already did. "You think that it's a shame to be associated with a palace eunuch…"

He took a deep breath.

"A palace eunuch… some sort of monster… some sort of subhuman creature that doesn't deserve to bear your family name."

He closed his eyes, thinking back to that distant morning. Despite how long ago it was, it still felt like merely a day had passed.

—

It was a bright sunny day, and the snow from the harsh winter was just thawing. Against the sunlight, the roadsides glistened like a thousand jewels. It was the perfect day to go out and play, but eight year old A'Hong knew better.

It would be a waste of a perfectly good day if he just let it go to waste. For the past few weeks, he had been secretly going out to the local butcher's shop. Other people treated the place of slaughter as taboo, but all he saw was an opportunity to earn some scraps.

Although his family was poor, they cared more than anyone about maintaining their reputation in front of their neighbors. So he knew that he had to go out and come back without anyone noticing. Once, his mother had caught him with a splatter of blood on his robes, and he still remembered the feeling of the lashes.

But he was especially happy today. He only had to go one more time, and after another day's work of scrubbing the place clean, the butcher had promised to give him an entire piece of meat as reward for his help.

An entire piece of meat.

Even the thought of it made his mouth water. Ever since their family had started saving money for his brother to afford a bride price, he couldn't remember what meat had tasted like. And he could already see the light in his parent's eyes as he brought back the entire chunk.

"A'Hong!" His mother's voice drew him back to reality. "I secretly saved a piece of food for you!"

With those few words, he was lured into the palace.

And even when the doors to the horrible bloody room closed, all he was wondering was why his mother had stayed outside and not come inside to enjoy the food with him. He would gladly share whatever morsels she had saved with her.

Only, he never left to return to the butcher's shop. And he never picked up the piece of meat.

He had a single hard-boiled egg stuffed into his mouth to muffle his weak cries as the man put a man to his body.

From that day, no matter how hungry he was, he refused to touch eggs.

It was years later that he found out that the deadline for paying the bride price was that day. And all his family missed was six qian.

If only they had asked the bride's family for an extension.

If only they had asked for that few qian difference.

If only they had asked their neighbors for a bit of a loan.

If only…

The piece of meat that was promised to A'Hong was worth eight qian.

But they instead sold off their youngest son for a measly seven qian and told everyone that he had been sent to a private institution to pursue higher studies.

—

A'Hong opened his eyes again, not sure what he had been expecting this entire time.

He never expected for his mother to give up the dignity that she had carried for so long for him. Or really, he never thought that she would give it up for anything, even if it meant costing her life. But yet, she gave it up so easily for his brother, almost without a moment of hesitation.

"I'm not your son." He smiled wholeheartedly for the first time in years. "I won't go around telling people that the A'Hong you sent away for a better life has returned. You'll never have to face the embarrassment of having an eunuch for a son."

He paused.

"But at the same time, please don't go around responding to invites as my family either." He unclenched his fists. "I'm frankly embarrassed as well to have relations to the likes of you."

The three of them gaped.

"I'm nothing like you."

"Thank you, Your Highness." A'Hong turned instead to Mu Luming. Although he bowed as deeply as before, if not at an even lower angle, the sag in his back had disappeared. Almost as if an invisible weight had been lifted off him, he straightened his back and stood up straight. "And thank you, Kesi."

"From now on, I will be living for myself."

Kesi could almost feel a bit of her youth returning to herself.