9 Chapter 9

WARNING. This is a work of fiction, and everything written here doesn't represent how I feel or think as a person. If you feel bad, dispirited, or cornered you should ask for help from either qualified specialist your friends, or parents.

I was guided by the student to the guidance counselor's office. I had no idea what the meaning of this job was in this world. But this office was fairly high up in the tower. It was at least a few floors higher than Rose's office.

After we reached our destination, this student knocked on the door. After a minute or so, he told me to come in.

Still holding the ice, I went inside. This room was somewhat large. It looked more like the office of a top-rank manager rather than a teacher in the school. Expensive-looking couches and a big TV hanging on the wall. This room had windows that were even larger than what I've seen in Rose's office. The wall was completely replaced by human-length windows. To top it all off, it had a large carpet. While Rose had basic shelves, this room, besides a big cupboard and bookcase, had a small safe.

"So you're finally here. You should've come earlier." I heard a tired woman's voice from behind the worktable. But I couldn't see the woman herself as she was fully covered by a large monitor of the pc.

I didn't know what I should do, so I just stood near the door while holding the ice that already started melting.

"Sigh. I'm severely disappointed that you started another fight as soon as you returned."

What? Another fight? I was still shocked by the earlier incident. I couldn't wrap my head around her words. I started a fight?

"You should know that even if you want to fight in this school and have an agreement from the other side, it must be approved by the school."

"But I…"

"SILENCE!" she raised her voice. She sounded irritated, "I didn't ask you to come here so that you can argue with the teacher."

I could only bite my tongue. I always abided by the rules, and never, ever, in my life, I had someone discipline me for misconduct.

"I heard from the student's that you started a fight during your P.E. lesson. Is it true?"

"I didn't." She didn't even look at me. How could she say this? "Look at me. You can see that it was me who was traumatized."

"Hah." she sneered. I now heard that she was typing something with how loud she did it. "It doesn't matter who is the one who lost the fight. What matters is the one who started it, and I already have a testimony from several students that it was you."

Ah, so it was this. As the ice was melting at an increasingly big speed, I finally had a little clarity of the mind. What I'm undergoing right now is the part of the harassment from Reid.

There was a mention of it in the game guide, but I didn't imagine it would be this outrageously obvious. Probably, this "teacher" was bought by Reid's parents. To drag him out of every little conflict.

If it was the truth, I could've only stayed silent the whole time and listened to her reprimanding me.

After half an hour of insults and threats, I had one last warning and was released. The ice had long ago all melted. I went to the toilet to throw the ice bag in the trash bin, and I saw my face. My nose swelled a little bit, but overall the small cut has already scabbed. I didn't know how it happened, I was out of my mind in the school infirmary, but I don't think it matters so much.

"I hope Greg and Annie won't fuss about this."

I went back to the classroom to take my stuff. I also needed to change into my uniform. When I came back to the classroom, I found not only my bag but also my uniform. It was left in the changing room, but now, all my stuff was neatly gathered on my desk.

There was also my phone that I left behind. I guess someone from the trio helped me. But why couldn't I see any of them right now?

"Whatever."

I quickly changed into my uniform and left the school territory. As I walked home, I got a few messages from my "friends". Each and every one of them stated different reasons why they couldn't help me.

I was irritated more with their constant apologies than the actual fact of leaving behind an injured friend. I felt like they wanted to incite pity more than actually asking for forgiveness, or maybe I was just angry.

But this long day hasn't ended yet. I still had a meeting with "parents".

"And how should I explain this to them?"

When I returned back home, I was met by Annie. Her first reaction was, of course, to panic. She started tossing me questions one by one.

"Am I alright?"

"Will this heal normally?"

"How much will the treatment cost?"

"What should she do with me?"

"How did this happen?"

I was able to answer her questions while adding some lies and twisting facts. This conversation lasted long enough for Greg to return from work. And just like that, I needed to explain everything one more time.

"So it was an accident?" Greg was looking at me with deeply furrowed eyebrows while Annie was sitting beside him, all nervous.

"You can say it like this."

He closed his eyes and made a long sigh. "Erlig, I will trust you, but you should know, we can't afford your expulsion. If you feel that it's tough on you, you can take a break, but you shouldn't give up."

I didn't know what kind of face I was making after hearing these words. Yeah, of course, take a break. Maybe I could take a fucking break from this fucking game, huh?!

I hurried to return to my room. I couldn't force myself to act as their son at this moment, and even more, I couldn't agree with what he said. This body was fucking beaten down one time. It was serious enough to visit the hospital. And right now, he fucking said to endure. It's your job as a parent to fucking help your child, not to corner him.

I hope this will end sooner.

I managed to live through the school week that now felt more like hell.

It was Saturday today, and the long week will end earlier. To be more precise, I decided to end it today. I was walking to a certain place that could save me.

While I was walking, I was listening to music to set the mood. After I heard a song chorus, I felt like this was an exact description of what happened to me.

"Monday left me broken

Tuesday I was through with hoping

Wednesday my empty arms were open

Thursday waiting for love, waiting for love

Thank the stars it's Friday

I'm burning like a fire gone wild on Saturday

Guess I won't be coming to church on Sunday"

I woke up on a weekend, thinking that this is all just a bug and I will soon wake up.

Then Monday came. Although it was uneventful, I still was left depressed from what had happened. Thus I was left broken.

On Tuesday, I had a breakdown from talking with Mara. Thus I left my hope.

Wednesday was the day I was hit for the first time by Reid. I couldn't do a thing, thus in a sense, my arms were open.

On Thursday, I tried to ask Mara for help. She said that she confessed to me, and when she learned that I "lost my memories", she was furious. Thus I was waiting for love to save me. But she didn't answer me, there was no help, and I was harassed much harder than before.

On Friday, I was caught by Reid and his gang after school and once again beaten down. As his goons held me, he beat the hell out of my innards as he continuously punched me in the stomach. Cackling, he continued his beating even after I threw up. He never hit my face again so as not to leave any "traces". But I thanked whoever was in charge of this world that it was Friday. Thus I said my thanks to the stars.

And right now it was Saturday. I was burning like fire, burning with the determination to end this. I couldn't handle this anymore.

I remembered that on the way to the park, there was a bridge above the highway. Right now, I was walking towards it.

I would jump off the bridge face first and end this hell. And even if I won't die from the fall, I would be hit by a car, so everything would be alright.

It was one of the options to restart the game. I didn't want to use it, because I was frightened in the beginning. But as of this moment, I couldn't care less.

I will end this game and awake in my world. I would greet my parents and say that I love them, I would tell this story to Andrew, and a few years later, we would laugh over it.

I felt like there was a fire burning deep inside me. I finally made up my mind.

And now that I think about it, I won't be coming to church on Sunday.

I giggled hysterically.

The closer I got to the bridge, the more nervous I became.

After some walking, I reached my destination. The bridge itself wasn't so high. It was two storeys high and there was a small guardrail so that people wouldn't accidentally fall off. But it wasn't an obstacle for me.

I climbed over the guardrail and grunted from the pain. My stomach was probably of a purple color right now.

As I stood there and looked down, I started feeling fainthearted.

I was really going to do it? I was so determined just a second ago, but right now, I was scared.

"Am I so weak that I can't even end this?"

"Take a deep breath, count to ten, and then take a step."

"Hu-hu, let's do this."

"Ten!"

"Nine!"

"Eight."

"Seven…"

"Si-six…" I looked down. Cars were driving at a fast speed.

"Huu-haa, Five."

"Four." I squeezed the guardrail one last time before releasing it. My hands were sweating.

I gathered the remains of my courage. Tears were streaming down my face.

"Three!"

"Twooo!"

"HEY YOU, WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

I heard someone shouting, and my foot slipped. As I panicked, I grabbed the handrail once again.

It all happened in a second.

My legs were shaking. I was constantly slipping from the small protrusion while holding the guardrail with all my strength.

And a second later, I was already pinned down by a girl. My shoulder blades were touching the ground as the girl was sitting on top of me.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!" She shouted at me.

I was not in the right state of mind.

"NO, LET ME GO!"

I tried to struggle and free myself from this small girl but found it impossible to shake her off.

Slap.

And then I was slapped by her on my left cheek.

Slap.

My right cheek.

I think it hurt even more than Reid's slaps. My tears stopped.

Then she tugged on both of my cheeks.

"HEY, LISTEN TO ME!"

She brought her face closer to me. We almost touched each other with our foreheads, and I could only blink my eyes.

"First of all, take a deep breath."

I swallowed my saliva and did as she said.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in, breathe out.

"Good, now blink your eyes if you understand what I'm saying."

I blinked.

"Listen, it doesn't matter what happened to you, you may feel like it is a good idea to jump off, but this won't solve a single problem." she squeezed my cheeks harder. "Do you know how bad everyone around you will feel? Even if you think you would save yourself, which is wrong, what about your friends, your lover, your parents? Have you thought at least for a second about them?"

"They are not my family. This isn't my life." Preach whatever you want, but you don't know anything about me. I bet you would do the same in my situation.

She lifted up her upper body. Was she letting me go?

Thwack! She smashed her forehead against mine.

It hurts.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SAYING!"

She lifted her head once again and started slapping my cheeks, but her slaps were a lot lighter now.

I think I saw tears in her eyes.

"THEY BROUGHT YOU TO LIFE, THEY LOVE YOU, AND YET YOU, UNGRATEFUL, YOU LOT, YOU ONLY KNOW HOW TO HURT THOSE AROUND YOU!!!"

I closed my face with my hands to defend myself from her slaps. "I'M SORRY, SORRY, I WON'T DO IT. LET ME GO."

"YOU WILL ASK FOR FORGIVENESS FROM YOUR PARENTS, WILL YOU?!"

"YES, YES, I WILL SAY SORRY."

"WILL YOU SAY THAT YOU LOVE THEM?!"

"YES!"

"Good…"

After shouting back and forth, she finally stopped slapping me.

"I'm going to release you, but I swear, if you try anything funny, I will break your legs." She stood up and then lent me a hand.

I caressed my cheeks because they were stinging.

"Ah, it's you?!"

Hmm, what's with this reaction? But after I looked at her carefully, I understood why she acted like this. It was Jessie. The girls that I saw on Sunday when I went to the park. What kind of bullshit coincidence is this?

Was it the world prohibiting me from leaving?

"You are Erlig, right?! I saw you at the outdoor gym."

I nodded.

After the initial shock had passed, her face grew angrier. "You were acting so high and mighty that day, and now you want to jump from the bridge. You better tell me what the hell happened."

Maybe it was just me imagining things after having a near-death experience, but I felt a faint bond with Jessie.

"Sigh, let's find somewhere to sit and talk." I could only agree with whatever she wanted to do. She was stronger than me by a lot.

The park we met at was near, so we decided to go there. Finding an isolated bench, I sat down while she stood like a guard, burning a hole in me with her gaze.

"You better say everything as is."

I smiled wryly.

"Alright, If you want so."

I talked to her about everything that happened to me this week. I altered the part from transmigrating to having a sudden change in my personality. How I "lost my memories" and gained some new ones, how I was confused about what the hell was happening. If I was me? How Reid started bullying me, and how I couldn't handle this at all while being mentally damaged.

As she listened to my story, she gradually changed her face. From being angered, she was now deep in thought. "So you are that guy from the school that was beaten by Reid half a month ago. That's why I thought I saw you somewhere back then."

"You know Reid?"

"I'm also from Birchland high."

It was a surprise. But seeing how she saved me from all the people out there, maybe I shouldn't be amazed by this fact.

"So, what do you think I should do?"

"…You know… I'm not a specialist in the field of psychology."

I waited for her to finish talking.

"I'm a fighter. So I can't help you with your memories. But I can teach you how to defend yourself. Maybe even help you forge a new personality."

"Hmm?"

"You may think that you are worthless, that you should bow down to everyone."

She was right. In reality, I did have low self-esteem. After all, I was a simple dude, one of the million.

"But… I can say you have a god-given talent. You can become stronger than anyone with my help. So what if you are weak and scared right now. You can choose to become strong, to strive to be a better person."

She held out her hand to me. This was the same thing I ignored last time.

"Will you accept my offer? I promise to help you."

I've never even thought about this option. To forge a new personality and live the life of the winner. Just like all those heroes from different novels.

"Before this, may I ask you a question?"

She made a complex face and then took her hand away. She probably felt disappointed.

"Why were you on this bridge?"

"I was going to the gym, the one we've met before. What about it?"

Going to the gym… was this fate?

I was at a turning point in my life.

I should make a decision.

I decided to bow, and it startled her.

After bowing, I held out my hand to her.

This was my decision.

I would grit my teeth.

I would change myself.

I will become the character I always imagined myself to be.

"Please!"

"HELP ME TO CHANGE!"