1 The hidden truth

It was a bright Sunday evening and as I looked out from the window, the sound of brids chirping and the calming sound of ocean waves brings the hopes of better future.

I started to moves my hands over my belly, thinking about his or her future and hoping only one thing - God, please don't make her like me.

I took a deepbreath and start moving toward my study table... I took my phone and dialled that years old familiar phone number.

Mom? I said... with little tears in my eyes, and hoping this time the answer would be different... maybe this time this baby of mine, this unborn piece of mine will make out alive in this world.

Brooklyn, how are you daughter? the old cracked voice come out from the other side...

I am fine... I said, trying to collect my broken pieces of heart... I know, it's not her mistake, it's not mine either or it's not of that unborn child still everytime the child have to suffer.

I killed my own child with my own hands, but it's for good, right?

Living in the world, where everyone is an alien for you is tough and I don't want to make him or her go through the things I experienced and still experiencing.

Brooklyn, what wrong my child?

You know, you can always speak to me. She said, and after hearing those words I can't keep up with this strong mask anymore... The tears started to fall from my eyes like the river flowing out...

And in a cracked sniffing voice I said "Mom, I am pregnant"

Pregnancy - One of the most happy moments of someone's life but, for me it was the exact opposite. I killed my own unborn babies not once not twice but three times with my own damn hands and I may kill this little one also.

Don't cry my child, you have to keep yourself strong! Mom said, trying to convince me.

Meet me at our usual place tonight and we will think what we have to do with the baby... Mom said, taking a deepbreath

That means their is any chance of me saving my baby? I said, with the hope... hope that I may let this little one see the world, the world which is not for him or her. The world where he or she will get killed or tortured for being different from others.

I don't know, Brooklyn. Just meet me, ok... Mom said, and hangups the phone.

I took a deepbreath and the old memories start to roam in my mind, my childhood how I was not able to attend school, how I don't played with normal kids and how I did my college degree but out of everything meeting James was the best part.

We have been married for almost 6 years now, we met in my last year of college, he is my teacher, he used to take our 'Self Defense' classes. And as soon as my college get over he proposed me and I said 'Yes'.

I never thought mom will ever allow me to marry someone but she did and maybe... just maybe she will allow me for keeping this baby also.

I can't do it! I can't keep up with the guilt of killing a baby anymore! As I killed those innocent souls, a void remain in me, so consuming that I can't live normal, I cried for days holding small dolls and I can't take the death of one more baby on me.

I have to convince mom for keeping this baby alive!

Because, this one more death will eat me alive.

As I sit, thinking about all this, I started to gasp for air... it was first time in years that I am gasping for air before time... I think it is beacuse of the baby in my womb...

I stand up and started running out from the house, I didn't bother for wearing slippers... I kept on running without looking back even for a moment...

I run as fast as I can and the need of oxygen starts to increase as I am taking steps further... I need to make it on time or I won't make out alive!

I can see the ocean water, and the sign of relief starts overwhelming me... I put my foots in the salty water of the ocean, the transformation starts to occur...

As my legs joined to form the tail and the hair of my body starts to change into the scales, the pain is too much... I have never felt this much pain before. This baby is surely doing it's wonders.

It's still bright... bright enough that people can see me from the desired distance. I don't know why this is happening but God, please help your child and do not let anyone see me.

I started to swim further in the ocean deep and deep with the hope people can't see me, but being half human is not helping! I am not a best swimmer and if I swim any further I may drawn in the deep water.

I have never been in that much deep water before and I surely don't wany any big fish to attack me!..

And I remember the place... place where I am not safe, neither in the water nor on the land.

In the world so big, their is not a single place for us and how I am going to give birth to this baby...

If humans see me like this, they will kill me or experiment in me and if any big fish see me than I will become it's dinner in no time.

The world is so big, and we... we just live in a small part of it... There are things which we didn't see, which we may never see but that didn't mean they are not there...

Well, you must be wondering what's my secret? and what I am...?

Well, honestly I don't even know the answers of these questions!

Humans says that I only exist in fairy tails and they call me 'MERMAID'

But let me tell you, I AM AS REAL AS THE AIR YOU BREATHE!

You may not see me but that doesn't mean I am not there.