19 Chapter 19 - Breaking the curse of power

The next morning, after find out what had happened, Shu Nangong left tellling Xu Feng that she'll not bother him to take any responsibilities, and that it was fine as long as he loved her. Xu Feng however, slienced this bitch and all her accompliaces. Their souls were being manipulated by Xu Feng so Shui couldn't tell anyone what had occured, everything is like a dream to her, she's now Xu Feng's puppet.

Sighing Xu Feng looked up at the rising sun.

Pale shafts of sunlight hit the bamboo chair he rested in. The air wasa moist, the sunlight made his skin feel warm, giving it a tingling sensation of comfort. The birds which rested on trees chirped happily, the peopl he saw moved with pasion, they all had their own goals, their own fantasies, pursuing what made them feel fulfillment.

What about me? Xu Feng thought power is amazing, having it makes you supreme, but with it comes unbearable responsibilities, power gives you freedom, no doubt but with coes comes the restrain of seeking more power, more wealth, more happiness. What makes me happy? Xu Feng didn't know. Perhaps he will never will, in a worl that strives for power, he is the same, a fallen god merely trying to go back to his throne. But when he reaches the throne, then what? Xu Feng didn't know.

Even god's can become puzzled. They had power, but hapiness is unattainable for those at the peak. To become a god is no easy feat, hours, days, months, years, centuries.... that's what it takes to become a god. The dedication neede is unimaginable, cultivation goes against the heavens. Sometimes, Xu Feng wondered if it was to stop mortals gaining power, or if it was to stop mortals from loosing hapiness. Everything comes at a price, it is the same for god hood. Even god's can't recover the price they payed for their advancement in cultivation.

Which god hadn't walked upon mountains of corspes? Which one of those corspes did't have dreams, didn't have hope, desire, family someone they loved someone they wanted to protect? The fact is, when a life is taken, the fate of the world is forever changed, even if it's only by a tiny amount. To change fate, to achieve the impossible, to be immortal....

This was Xu Feng's dream, to be so good, that no one will ever dare to betray him, to have so much overbearing power, that all will bow beneath him.. reality didn't give Xu Feng that. Reality was cruel god or not, centuries of lonliness, centuries of scheming, stealing, killing, running, cultivating, don't make for a good life. Sometimes Xu Feng wondered if being mortal was really that bad...

Then why pursue power when it doesn't bring him hapiness? Well it's because of his desire to never feel threatened by anyone or listen to anything. He wanted freedom, hapiness, what he wanted was to escape the abyss of loliness. What he wanted was selfless love.... But he knew that to gain it he must trust, and he had long ago forgotten how to do such a stupid thing...

This was the curse of power, it isolates you the stronger you are.

Hmm? Xu Feng sensed strong sadness through the soul brand that he placed on one of the maids, sadness that crushes the soul. Alarmed, he went to check out what had happened, after all the if the people who he used this technique on die, he will suffered from a soul backlash, and in the current pitiful stat of his soul that would be very troublesome.

Soon, he found the mature maid hugging a teenage girl, she was bleeding, form her head, there was two streaks of blood flowing. Relaxing the soul brand, Xu Feng commanded "What happened here?"

"sob...sob..My daughter...please save her..I'll do anything..I'll never betray you...please..."begged the maid.

"Why should I? You've already betrayed me, letting you live was only because getting rid of you is suspicious.."

"You can do whatever you want to me...I will offer you anything...please sve my daughter, I may have betrayed you but she's innocent, take it as helping someone...trust yourself to trust me...can you do that?"

Xu Feng's mind was in chaos, the world "trust yourself to trust me" reverberated like bombs in his mind. Such word's how can they be muttered by a mortal? If he had enough trust in himself, to trust his decision, his choice, then surly he can trust other.. can't he? Looking at this maid, a mere mortal, without a ounce of cultivation knowledge, a scrap of power, a feeling of inferiority birthed within him. She can trust her daughter, she can trust herself, yet I, the god of god's can't.

With a shaking voice, Xu Feng, the greatest god asked this measly mortal "How can you trust someone when you know they can betra you, one day your daughter may leave you, may abandon you, how can you trust her so much, how can you offer everythign you have for her?"

"It's because seeing her suffer, scares me more than anything else in the world...." said the women softly.

Xu Feng had witnessed selfless love, the love of a parent towards their child, shocking him so much that he gave the best healing pill he had to the girl out of respect for her mother, for that human who was willing to sacrifice this much for someone that may betray them.

A part of Xu Feng scream that he was irration, that what he did was stupid, yet another part longed for truth, for the reason why that maid will do such a thing.

Giving her 2000 gold coins, Xu Feng said with a heavy tone " Tell me more, how can you be scared more of her suffering than your own death, as a human it's illogical.. what made you feel this way.. answer me and I will make sure you and your descendants will be protected by a god..."

Somewhat shocked at the sight of Xu Feng, the seemingly cold and indifferent man healing her daughter, she was moved so much, she then out of gratitude kneeled and said " Sometimes, you will find someone or something worth protecting more than your life, I feel this way because my daughter means everything to me, I saw her grow up from being a baby to what she is now, I can't bear to live without her...so thank you...."

"Before I was forced to betray you by that man due to him threatening my daughter, I knew that if you found out it ment certain death, however I did what he told me without hesistation, I couldn't take risks..She means so much to me...now that you have saved her, you have my loyalty, you have my trust..I'll do anything to repay you as long as you take care of my daughter..." said the women in a somber voice.

Tossing her the sword that hung on his waist, skeptically Xu Feng said "Kill yourself, and I'll make sure your daughter become a cultivator with a boundless future!"

Hearing this, the women was startled, then her eyes turne melancholic, and she muttered " Husband I'm coming for you.. Take care of your promise..." To a mortal becoming a cultivator is like being a god, the maid understood this and had no regrets, her daughter now had a bright future, and seeing the srious expression on Xu Feng's eyes she knew that he'll do as he had promised, that pride he carried in every movement wouldn't allow him to do otherwise...

Then with resolution, the women brought the knife to her stomach and stabbed with all her strength...

The sword stabbed into Xu Feng who had blocked it with his hand. In his face was a look of utter surprise. This god, who comprehended the laws of nature, the mysteries of time, the magnitude of space... now finally understood that this lowly mortal before him, had something he didn't- love towards another. Something to protect, to value more than oneself. She had the ability to trust, to believe and that shoo his soul. Today, he felt he had overcome the curse of power, lonliness.

To trust another, one must first trust oneself....Trust their judgement, their belief and their feelings towards another for them to trust you...

Xu Feng now knew why he couldn't trust, but he didn't know how he could find something more precious than his life, after all such a thing seems illogical, but he knew that this was an answer, a very important and useful answer to the curse that bound him, after all there was a living example of this right before his eyes...

For the first time in seemingly forever, Xu Feng felt jealous and said in a envious voice to the injured girl "You have the greatest treaure no amount of power can bring you..."

Turning towards the maid, Xu Feng bowed his head, as a sign of respect and said "What you have done today for me, I will never forget.. Thank you, and I'm sorry for doubting your resolve, I admire you from the depths of my heart...You have my respect."

For as long as he could remember, this was the first time he had bowed his head out of respect and admiration towards something other than power, he had admitted his flaws, his mistakes. This is Xu Feng, if he knows that he is wrong, if he feels respectful towards someone for teaching him, he will forever treasure and protect them, although he is a god, although he is arrogant, he is still respectful towards this mortal, because of her unwavering will towards death. Death to protect someone else, even Xu Feng couldn't do this. He couldn't find something worth protecting more than himself, and so he respected the maid, this women who had freed him from the shackles of lonliness.

Looking up at the sky, Xu Feng muttered " I hope I can one day find someone like you..."