How Not To Be a Medium

🅿🅰🆁🅺🅴🆁

Okay, screw Kira for a second.

Let's get back to my making-of story.

I had still felt a bit bad about Herb once the morning came and I knew I was about to be transferred to my next mission. I had tried to shake the feeling off quickly, reminding myself that this was a grown man and considering I eventually had to leave anyway, I did the best I could.

If he decided to stay in his flat all day long, then the loneliness is on him, not me.

The transfer had gone over quickly and I soon found myself in a country I had always wanted to visit - Australia.

Basically a sunnier, more attractive and less problematic version of the US.

But against my hopes and expectations, the house I ended up in was not at the beach next to the beautiful ocean but part of some fancy cul-de-sac. Instead of a picket fence there was a meter high stone wall surrounding the neat garden and the white two-story building. There even was a pool, something I had always dreamed of having.

Are there pools in heaven?

The girl I was supposed to help was about 15 or 16 years old and when I first saw her, she was sitting in her room alone, brushing her long black hair.

I already had decided that I wouldn't go the silent route this time but I didn't know how to start a conversation without giving her a heart attack. So I made up a...well...morally questionable plan and wasted no time.

First I used my newly acquired skill of interacting with physical things by pushing the open window shut. The girl had looked up from the sound, furrowing her eyebrows.

"Crikey! That damned window." She got up and walked over, probably to open it again, when I picked up a random book lying around, waited for the right moment and - BAM - smashed it against the back of her head.

Fine, maybe 'smashed' is a bit overdramatic, my plan did not include an actual concussion.

The girl screamed and turned around, pressing her hand against the hurting spot. "Ouch! What the hell?"

I took one last breath, now or never.

"Are you okay?"

She screamed again, this time right into my ear and I flew back a bit.

"Who is this?" The girl genuinely looked terrified and turned around several times to spot the intruder. Of course without success.

"It is me, Parker."

"P-Parker?"

I bit on my non-existing lip and damned myself. I had sworn to not use my actual name but my nerves had gotten the better of me.

Well, I now had to roll with it.

"Yes, you can't see me but because of your accident, you can now communicate with spirits."

The girl's eyes widened, she stepped away from my voice, her hands trying to grab something for self-defense but all she could get a hold of was an eraser lying on her desk.

"Are you a g-g-ghost? Or a d-d-demon?"

Oh god, I must have really scared her. "No! No, no, no. I am a medium."

"A medium? You mean you're a steak? Or is that your dress size?"

At that moment I wasn't sure whether to laugh or slap her.

"No bit-...girl. I am a medium. It means that I have magic abilities and can see the future and present."

Suddenly her eyes lit up. "So you're a psychic? Like Molly Gold?"

"I…" What? "Molly who?"

"Molly Gold! She has her own show on Astro TV, I love watching her readings! Especially the tarot cards. I always want to call her but I can't because I'm not 18 yet. Do you do tarot cards, Parker ghost?"

"I am not a…" I sighed. This was going to be harder than expected. But hey, at least this chick believed in astro bullshit.

"No, I don't do cards. But I...uhm...I do spells and I can read your future."

"No tarot cards? Hm." She slowly walked over to her bed, sitting down on the purple duvet. "I don't know if I believe you then. You have to prove it."

"Excuse me?" I was taken aback by her bossy demand. Usually when people would talk to me like that, I just laughed.

But I guess in thus situation she was the one with the power because she...well...was alive and my fate was in her hands.

"If you're a psychic, guess something about me."

"Alright then, so I shall do."

I started floating around her room, looking for any useful information.

There was lots to take in, shelves full of books, plushies, candles and picture frames. But one detail grabbed my attention. A photograph showing two girls, something was written on the sparkly blue frame. Flora & Trisha.

Aha! I quickly flew back to my initial spot so that the girl wouldn't know I had moved and put on a mysterious voice.

"I can sense something...a name. It starts with a T. Tabetha? Treena? Trisha? Or..."

"What?" The girl's mouth dropped, her eyes were big. "My best friend is called Trisha."

Bingo.

"I know, Flora. I told you, I'm a medium."

At the sound of her own name, Flora cringed. "Okay, okay. I believe you. But what do you want from me, Parker ghost?"

I didn't feel like correcting her again so I just sighed. "I'm here to help you."

"With what?"

"Well…" Good question. With Herb it was easy to figure out what he needed. But Flora?

"You will find out later. Until then I will look over you to make sure you're safe." Those sickly nice words left my mouth burning like herpes but I sensed that I could only get through to this girl if I was to play nice.

And even though it was hard for me, that is what I did. I answered every of Flora's curious and sometimes dumb questions and listened to her endless speeches about her family and her cat.

The stories were even less interesting than Herb's, maybe because Flora was a naive teenage girl, exactly the kind of person my old self would have laughed straight in the face. But I tried to adapt and within only a few hours Flora seemed to have become quite comfortable around me.

After dinner she even asked to touch me, curious about what a spirit feels like but I refused and said: "I have no physical form, silly. You wouldn't feel anything."

The truth was that I just didn't want to have a 16-year-old's hands anywhere near my formless body. I'm sure pedophilia is not something you get many KP for.

Flora kept me occupied so I didn't leave her side all day long, except for when she went to use the bathroom of course, but once the girl had gone to bed, I sneaked out of the house and explored the neighborhood.

Most windows had already gone dark but a few I could still peek through. But if Herb's apartment building was Keeping Up With The Kardashians, this cul-de-sac was a documentary on paramecium at best.

Yes, I do actually know what that is because I held a presentation on that topic in biology class once and actually got a B. Not because I was well prepared and motivated but because I paid (and forced) Noah Henderson to make it for me and I just had to present it.

Oh Noah, you nerd.

After a whole hour of wandering through the neighborhood I still hadn't picked up on any interesting story. The only drama I encountered was that one family had run out of steaks at their barbecue. Or as they like to call it, their "barbie".

When the man yelled, "This barbie is ruined," I first thought he was talking about his beach blonde daughter and her questionable bread enhancements.

Rather sooner than later I ended my trip. Although I had lost that need the second I died, I felt tired. Emotionally drained. It was a weird, unfamiliar feeling but looking back it was a natural reaction.

After everything that had happened so far - dying, finding out about Afterlife Ltd., looking over a lonely old man, now this - it was only logical that I felt exhausted. Us humans grow used to life, learn how to cope with everything mortal but afterlife is a completely new concept none of us are truly prepared for.

When I got back to the house I wanted to just hide in a closet somewhere and close my eyes for a few hours but a soft crying sound stopped me in my tracks. It came straight from Flora's bedroom.

I sighed, knowing damn well that I couldn't ignore her. After all, this is what I was here for.

So I flew across the hallway and through her door, only to see that the girl was lying in her bed, the little lamp on her nightstand was turned on and her face was buried in a pillow.

"Flora."

She flinched, hecticly looking around the room but once she remembered that I can't be seen, she fell back into her pillows.

"Parker g-g-ghost, where were you?"

"I…"

Dammit. She had noticed I was gone, that wasn't good. I already imagined the next transaction on my KP account.

'-20 points for neglecting duties'

"A spirit called me but now I am with you again. Why are you crying?"

"Shouldn't you know? You're a psychic after all."

I rolled my non-existent eyes. "Yes, but it may help you if you say it yourself. So you understand how you are feeling."

At least that is what my therapist told me at our first meeting. Needless to say, I never went there again.

Flora sobbed, turning away from me to face the wall. "I c-c-can't sleep, I'm s-s-s-cared."

Oh boy, here we go. "Of the dark?"

"Y-y-yes."

I flew a bit closer, hovering above the edge of the bed. At least this was a problem I'm somewhat familiar with. Alex used to have the exact same issue when he was younger, he always came running into my room, asking for my help.

I've never had problems with the dark but I imagine a child's wild imagination can be just as scary as taking speed.

You suddenly start seeing all sorts of things in the least threatening places and when you think about it, it gets even worse. (Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.)

It had taken me a few attempts to figure out how to calm down Alex and now I was hoping that the same method would help with Flora as well, ignoring that Alex was 4 back then and Flora a teenager with most likely more common sense.

"Do you want me to check if there is something under your bed or in your closet?" I tried to sound as caring as possible and honestly, this time it wasn't all too hard.

"Y-y-yes."

"Alright."

And although Flora couldn't see me, I did bend down to look under her bed. An old habit, I guess.

Then I flew over to her closet, opening the door and rummaging through clothes, making sure Flora could see everything moving. I opened each drawer, looked behind the curtains and finally muddled through a pile of clothing left on the floor.

"There is nothing and no one here. You are safe."

"A-a-are you sure?"

"Yes. And besides, I'm a medium, remember? I would sense bad spirits if they came close."

Flora sniffled, she had stopped crying but still looked worried. "Can you stay and make sure they don't come in while I'm asleep?"

That was not what I had planned but I couldn't risk being away in case Flora woke up and called for me.

"Yes, I would like to."

Lies. Complete lies.

But Flora didn't seem to notice, a small smile flashed across her face.

"Thank you, Parker ghost."