14 The Moon and Me

My heart was silent, and completely still. I started feeling, rest of the body beating up with anxiety.

My brain was in a frenzy, giving me so many signals at once.

Yet I couldn't understand, what was it trying to tell me...

Then all of a sudden, my chest heaved up....

BREATHE.

Holy heavens, my brain kicked me.. I blinked my eyes several times, and started breathing.

Ofcourse my heart held my breath, it was grieving the loss of it's owner and crying on my breath.

How could I not let it hold it?

I would do anything for my poor heart, even if it meant holding my own breath.

But my Brain was like an angry mother, scolding me and my heart.

All I could do was merely nod.

Brain was correct... but heart was also not wrong...

I sighed and looked through the window.

I could see darkness, and just one moon up in the sky. There were no stars today, Moon was all alone in the dark sky.

I stared at the perfect shape of moon, it was all round and shining perfectly in the darkness.

As I kept staring it, I think I noticed something more about the moon.

It was showing me it's true self...

The then, perfectly round shaped moon was now melting...

Slowly and slowly the few parts of the moon started disappearing.

I watched everything intensely....

Dark clouds were looming over the moon, covering its body.

I so desperately wished the Moon to have stars around it, but Moon was brave to stand alone.

I didn't realize, but it felt like the dark clouds were not the enemy but an ally trying to cover the Moon's imperfection.

Yes, it was then I realized, Moon was not Perfect.

Everything beautiful, has it's own beautiful flaw.

Moon was beautiful, and it's imperfection was beautifully covered by the dark clouds.

I wondered why the goodness in the cloud was regarded as dark.

It was anything but dark.

It felt like a good, pure soul trying to cover the moon.

I closed my eyes....

My brain was really my mother...

It was teaching me...

I was the MOON...

This realization made me gasp...

I was just speechless, my mouth was open in a perfect 'O'

At this juncture in my life, I was all alone facing the darkness in my path.

I was imperfect just like the moon, yet I couldn't compare myself to it's significant beauty.

Honestly I wasn't a beautiful angel in Edward's life.

I considered myself a cute good girl, even Edward considered that.

My parents, my relatives all called me cute, I was no beautiful woman.

Even if I was fading, in Edward's life there was someone or something like the dark clouds in my life trying to cover me.

What was it? or Who was it???

This was the last thought that came to my mind, before my eyelids decided that it was time.....

Time to revisit the memories one last time....

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