Chapter 7: Zastin

Beta read by Shigiya and Paragon of Awesomeness

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-Early morning-

The morning turned out to be weirder than she expected. No… Come to think of it, things had actually been weird since yesterday.

First, a random meteorite of all things crashed into Sainan High School, apparently nearly hitting her brother, Shirou, and another girl just when Rito was about to confess to Haruna Sairenji. Then later that night, she finds her oldest brother gone from the house and showing back up at the front door hours later with a beautiful sleeping cosplayer in his arms, saying she was their new guest.

First off, she'd never seen him together with this girl before, yet she kept mumbling suspicious things in her sleep while Shirou was clearly trying to divert her attention. He then set the girl to sleep on the living room couch after gathering some pillows and blankets for her.

'He even took off all her clothes! What is going on here!?'

She checked on her after Shirou went to bed, and the possibility that her brother and this girl were close enough for him to undress her butt-naked raised plenty of alarms in her head. Did something happen while she wasn't paying any attention? Did her brother somehow get into a relationship with a foreign girl without anyone finding out?

So many questions passed through her head, yet she didn't have a single answer.

Furthermore, another strange thing happened this morning.

"Please, take this gift as thanks for taking care of Lala-sama and as an apology to the one known as Yuuki Emiya Shirou-sama!"

"Yes, we have bought the finest ingredients you Earthl—I mean food the Japanese like to consume daily. We have scoured the world wide web for the best options just for you and your family."

Two weirdos came to her house's doorstep early in the morning. Both of them looked like they fell inside a blender and into a pit of fire, in that order. They were covered with many layers of white bandages that some of the neighbors mistook for mummy cosplayers while smelling like charbroiled meat, which attracted the attention of several neighborhood dogs and cats.

They quickly left with a number of dogs hounding after them, though only after having dropped off a large grocery bag filled with expensive fruits and weird vegetables she didn't recognize. Mikan stood there for a few minutes, staring at the items with sunken eyes, and waited. Her lack of sleep didn't help, she was already having a headache before even going to school.

Wanting to clear her mind, she dropped the goods on the table before going to the garden. The clock on the wall still showed that it was ten minutes before six o'clock, just ten more minutes before Shirou would wake up for his daily exercise in the shed. Why he always trained so hard every day despite already having a body that made all her school friends blush at the mere thought of him and forced her imagination to go wild many times — completely against her own will, for the record! — was a mystery.

"Well, might as well water the plants." This wasn't something she did often, her brothers always took care of the garden every day. "I'll take some pills before going to school… or I can just have a nap in the infirmary."

A few minutes later, she filled the watering can and began using it on every flower and plant around her. She had been observing Shirou and Rito do this task for years, so Mikan knew the right amount to use. Her eyes went to the patio, where she used to sit on Shirou's lap while he would always read her stories of all kinds.

Her main strength was always history because of how she clearly remembered the stories her brother would tell about both real events in the past and myths. Stories about characters from the Edo period, their legend, and the general details about the period in time. From the Meiji, Taisho, Kamakura, and so on. The last story he read to her was the Arthurian legend… she missed those times.

"I can try asking him…"

"Ask me what?"

"Kya!" Mikan turned around, frightened by the unexpected voice behind her. It was none other than Emiya, having woken up from his sleep and leaning against the door frame with crossed arms — wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

"Oh, h-hey there," she greeted him. "I-I was just mumbling to myself, it's no-nothing." She cursed her stutters, they came at the worst possible moment!

Emiya gave her a look that said he could see through everything, but he simply nodded and played along. "You know, I believe this is the first time I've ever seen you watering the plants. Maybe I should take a picture and show it to Rito? He's going to be so happy you've joined the family gardening club that he might cry, then he'll ask if we can hang the photo in the hallway so we can all see it every day."

"Don't you do it!" Mikan rushed at her brother, who was holding up a phone before quickly snatching it away from his hand without resistance from him. She quickly deleted the image before showing him the tip of her tongue playfully. "Meanie."

Emiya smirked at her childish action; he'd of course noticed how tense she was and wanted to ease up the atmosphere. Both Mikan and Rito were very easy to read, the latter being painfully obvious most of the time.

"I know you're thinking about Lala, the girl I brought back home last night." His words broke the silence between them. "I'm not dumb enough to ignore the elephant in the room. I was too tired last night to give any proper explanation, so I felt it was better to wait for another time."

Mikan didn't say anything, instead, she went to one of the flowers on the patio's edge and touched its leaves. "You could start by telling me exactly what the girl, Lala, is doing here. You mentioned that she would be staying here for a bit. Is there a reason behind that?"

He sighed, looking down at the flowers, before he finally faced Mikan again. "Lala came here because she got into a messy situation with her family, and so she became a runaway. We met yesterday under... weird circumstances that I'd rather not go into too much detail on. So in the meantime — until things either smooth over, she moves out herself, or both parties come to an agreement — she'll remain here."

"What kind of messy situation are we talking about exactly?"

"The kind that you usually only see in drama TV shows. I don't want to get too deep into it, so let's just leave it at that," he replied with a shrug. "But I will tell you that it's not going to last forever and with any luck will get resolved soon."

"...You aren't getting into any sort of trouble by helping her, right?" Despite the trust that existed in her heart, Mikan was at a loss for how to react to this case. While her brother was the kindest and most caring person anyone could ever hope to meet, she regularly heard from Rito how Shirou would sometimes spend hours helping students around school with many different things. From repairing broken equipment, sorting paperwork, and just talking to those who would sit all alone by themselves.

It was funny how every time either of them brought up his past acts of random kindness, the only excuse that would come out of his mouth was, "Because I was bored and wanted to kill time."

A phrase used countless times, but it showed how despite being the more mature and — oftentimes brutally — honest one in their family, her brother still had trouble revealing his true nature at times. She did secretly call him a tsundere, but never said it out loud for fear that the dis would make its way to him and then he would use it for an even better comeback and embarrass her instead — unlike Rito who was easy to tease.

But even with his caring nature, he never went so far for anyone in the past. This was a first-time occurrence that made her worry given how abruptly it had happened.

Walking up to his sister, he grabbed the watering can from her hands and patted her head. It felt good, comforting and made all her worries slowly bleed away.

"My little sister is worried about her big brother, how adorable. I promise you that no such thing will happen. You know me, I know when to stop and not get into unnecessary trouble for no reason or if I can't get out at any time."

She gave him a deadpan stare, "That doesn't exactly inspire confidence, Shirou."

"Just trust me, I'll always be here." A few simple words denoting a simple fact, yet it served as the biggest sense of relief to her.

"...Fine, just be careful, okay?" Mikan whispered. For all the years she'd known him, she never once saw her big brother express attraction or desires of intimacy toward the opposite gender. It wasn't like he was attracted to men though. No, Mikan knew well enough — albeit she had questioned this silently in the past — to understand that her brother had little interest in romance, for some odd reason. Which sounded absurd given the number of girls around him each day; even Rito couldn't believe it.

And yet... To see him literally come home princess-carrying a gorgeous beauty like Lala — in weird clothing as well.

'Why couldn't it have been someone else…' she thought to herself, pouting a bit.

Emiya smiled, easily guessing his sister's thoughts as the latter allowed her eyes to close for a bit. She was evidently feeling very sleepy and tired; maybe it was better that she skipped school for today.

"By the way, I saw what looked like a large bag of exotic fruits on the counter. Did

Dad's editor drop off another gift basket?"

She shook her head, "No, just some random weirdos in suits cosplaying as mummys and smelling like barbeque who came by to check on Lala. They gave me the bag before quickly running away."

The boy's eyebrow twitched, though he remained quiet and just shrugged it off. Those two were very durable and from the sound of things, had been surprisingly polite to his sister. Ironic that a pair of aliens belonging to a race of conquerors had shown more politeness than many of the Magi he dealt with in the distant past. Then again, this wasn't much of an achievement. At least there was no armada of spaceships surrounding his home at the moment, which would have been difficult to explain.

'I'll cook today, Mikan needs her sleep and Saibai is probably running on fumes by now with his deadline almost up.'

Both father and daughter were quite similar in many aspects, more than Mikan would ever be comfortable admitting. Having similar bad habits of skipping sleep regularly and distracting themselves with more work.

After telling her to go back to sleep, Emiya took control of the kitchen. He had rarely gotten to wear his apron ever since Mikan claimed the kitchen as her territory. Though there were times he would make himself or Rito some late-night comfort food or when his brother had a test or exam the following day.

He visited his father's workplace after cooking up a quick batch of shrimp fried rice. An unusual and heavy meal for so early in the morning, but necessary in that man's case. At least it prevented Saibai from consuming any more of those unhealthy caffeine shots that would further damage his already crumbling mental state. As expected the place was filthy due to the ever-approaching deadline, so he cleaned it out in a matter of minutes before leaving the studio and sprinting back to his house so he could at least get in some cardio this morning.

Before the clock hit seven, he was back inside the house. The sun had completely risen with the sky having changed from deep orange to clear blue. Normally, his early mornings would consist of intense physical workouts, to push his body to reach a realm of strength he was comfortable with. Reverting to the physique of a child was… stressful to say the least. Having grown used to battling entire armies, powerful Servants, and bizarre Phantasmal Species… Emiya just couldn't live comfortably without some semblance of confidence in his own strength.

Thankfully, this world hadn't shown any signs of such threats in the past. He almost grew to believe that this was a simple reality, where he was the only outlier capable of using Magecraft. But then out of nowhere, Lala came and shattered that notion into dust. Now, there was a real pressure pressing onto his shoulders. Maul and Smutts were beings that could tank bullets, his arrows, and even survive low-grade Broken Phantasms. If push came to shove and he was left with no other option but to kill them, then would require the usage of his stronger weapons; he suspected that nothing less than an attack from a B-rank Noble Phantasm would be necessary to finish the job.

That in itself led to a horrifying realization; his current pool of Magical Energy could handle such attacks only a handful of times before hitting his limit. If by misfortune he found himself having to face hundreds of soldiers as powerful as those two — or god forbid someone at the level of a Servant or even Heroic Spirit — then he was done for.

"The best course of action I can take is to do my absolute best to not have the situation escalate to a full-on war, and buy myself enough time to increase my power to an acceptable level."

As he was setting up the plates, the whole house suddenly shook with an ear-piercing scream, and it belonged to none other than Rito. "G-G-GIRL!!! PINK!"

…A bit over the top in his opinion. Was Rito really that unfamiliar with the opposite gender that it provoked such a reaction? That wasn't good, maybe he could try to have him talk to more girls in order to get used to them.

"W-W-Who are you!?"

"Hello! My name is Lala Deviluke! Can you tell me where Shirou is? Oh wait, I haven't checked downstairs!" Footsteps hurriedly made their way downstairs before running across the hall. He never removed his attention from the food even when he caught sight of a shock of pink hair to his left.

"Shirou!!!"

"Rise and shine Princ—Hn!" Two pairs of arms wrapped around his neck as he had to brace himself from her sudden jumping tackle-hug. "Can you not be so jumpy in the morning? Besides, I'm busy cooking right now."

His words were ignored by Lala as she couldn't stop smiling and laughing with immense joy. Having woken up on a rather comfy couch, in a room that wasn't inside a spaceship tasked to bring her back, she'd at first been confused as to where she was. Slowly but surely though, the memories of last night came back to her with how she was saved despite everything Emiya said; she wasn't going back and was actually experiencing true freedom!

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" The girl repeated over and over again, unable to contain the joy and happiness from surfacing.

'At least she's wearing clothes.' he thought to himself, letting the girl have her moment. Though the weird outfit she preferred did little to stop him from feeling her body pressing against him. "Can you at least try to control your strength? I'm already feeling like my bones are a hairbreadth away from snapping!"

The morning had barely started and Emiya already felt tired. Now though he had to figure out the main issue of how to deal with Lala; leaving her all alone in the house wouldn't be a good idea as he feared their home would all too likely end up as a pile of rubble by the end of the day. But then again, bringing her along to school was only inviting more trouble for himself and potentially revealing Lala's nature as an alien to the masses.

He didn't have any connections around town who he trusted enough to leave the girl with for any extended period.

'Wait… I may have an idea.'

It was very crude and ridiculous by nature, but it might work.

Before he could think about putting his plan into action, the sound of his doorbell ringing caught his attention. The boy briefly wondered who was coming back at this hour. Hopefully, not his father asking for another batch of food because his co-workers fought over it and demanded more as a bonus payment again. That had stopped being funny after the fifth time.

Pushing Lala away with a lot of effort he walked towards the door. It couldn't be Maul or Smutts, they already came by just to drop an apology gift for him to Mikan. His guts were telling him that something or someone powerful stood on the other side of the door; his years of experience as a Counter Guardian made him possess a certain level of paranoia for any case.

Dozens of swords flashed before his mind, discarding the nameless ones and anything below a B-rank weapon — he made sure to be prepared for the worst.

He opened the door and came to face a handsome man that looked to be in his mid or early twenties, with grayish hair color that reminded him of his past self and eyes that shined deep blue like the sea. The man towered over him, standing at two full meters.

But the most eye-catching aspect of him was the white bone demonic-design armor with large pauldrons that had two large ruby-colored jewels embedded in them, followed by a cape that flowed over his back.

A quick analysis of the armor did not cause his brain to suffer an aneurysm like it almost did with Lala's creation. It showed him how it was actually real bones belonging to a demonic creature from another planet where the gravity was ten times that of Earth. This environment forced the beast to develop bones far stronger than steel itself while also being incredibly light. Hundreds of times stronger even, making for a ridiculously powerful piece of equipment.

"Greetings fellow warrior," the man spoke politely, going so far as to even bow his head. "I'm Zastin. I have traveled the infinite cosmos to get back our princess. Recently, an interesting piece of news from my subordinates came to my attention, about how you've managed to best them through the use of arrows and swor—" Bam!

Emiya slammed the door in the man's face.

"That was Zastin!" Lala gasped at the tall man. "He's already here!?" This was probably the first time he saw her actually panic over something. Guess this Zastin fellow was a much bigger danger than the pair from last night, and more stubborn as well with how he started to ring the doorbell again. Though that also marked him as more polite seeing as he didn't burst through the door.

"Relatively speaking, how much stronger is he compared to those bodyguards from yesterday?" He asked while raising his voice to be heard over the ringing doorbell, wanting to get a clear picture and estimate of just how strong this newcomer could be.

"Far stronger; he works directly under Daddy as the commander of the Devilukean Royal Guard!"

Hm, that sounded very troublesome, and possibly required him to use his more deadly Noble Phantasms if it came to a fight. That armor could prove to be a significant obstacle for him as well, but Emiya believed he possessed the right weapons to pierce it if necessary. And even that might not be needed, as the armor left Zastin's head completely exposed.

Again, this was just in case they started fighting, and Zastin didn't look like he was here to fight.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door once again to find Zastin in the midst of repeatedly pressing the bell. Upon seeing that the door was open again, the man bowed his head and greeted them again, sighing in relief as he saw the pink-haired girl with his own eyes. "Lala-sama, it's nice to see you safe and sound." He said to her before turning his attention to Emiya, "So you are Yuuki Emiya Shirou, the one who bested Maul and Smutts in combat last night on your lonesome." He stated in a matter-of-fact tone

The tension around the doorway was obvious, yet neither man showed any signs of feeling it as they stared at each other.

"And so you're the head of the so-called guardians supposed to protect the Princess, yet couldn't even do that seeing how they let her escape so easily. You should consider changing armor, it's probably why you were so slow to begin with."

Zastin's eyes narrowed while the redhead just crossed his arms, smirking.

"You're rude, exactly like my subordinates mentioned you to be."

"Seems they're able to do at least one thing right then, even if it's only reporting their own failures."

Thankfully, Mikan already went to bed while Rito would take at least half an hour to get ready for breakfast. He didn't want either of them to get involved in this situation and wanted this man to leave his house as soon as possible. Weirdly enough, the tense atmosphere was immediately broken when he heard the sound of munching in the background.

"Wow! This food tastes so good! You're an amazing cook as well, Shirou? Food from Earth is the best!"

"..."

"..."

Both men stared at each other, not wanting to be the first one to break eye-contact and lose the stare-down. Unfortunately for Zastin, his body betrayed him with the scent of freshly cooked food wafting to his nose.

Grrrrrrrr!

His stomach released a tremendous roar that shocked even Emiya. It sounded so familiar, like he was facing a certain King of Knights who he'd seen some versions of Shirou Emiyas literally be forced to empty his entire fridge and pantry just to keep her fed… he never felt sorry once and actually enjoyed seeing the boy suffer both financially and emotionally.

"…Would you like to come sit down and have something to eat? I have some leftover shrimp fried rice."

Zastin immediately gave a very formal bow, "You're truly a magnanimous warrior with a most noble heart, Yuuki Emiya Shirou-sama!" He exclaimed before walking over to his kitchen and helping himself to the entire pot while also sharing some with Lala.

'This can't seriously be it…'

Here he was, expecting some kind of intense confrontation and trading of barbs with a dangerous and powerful new enemy. To gauge each other's intentions and strengths with words alone and calculate the best opportunity to strike. Who would have expected that the killing blow of this short stalemate would have been his home-cooked food?

"Amazing, this food is easily among the best I've ever eaten despite it looking so simple!" Zastin commented with a small and polite smile

"Thanks, I guess." Emiya accepted the compliment nonchalantly, his face stoic as he looked at Zastin suspiciously.

Again, his guts kept telling him that this man was dangerously powerful, most likely someone beyond what his current state could handle. But there were no signs of deception in his act, not a single trace of killing intent showing itself in his eyes.

"Please forgive my harsh words from earlier. I was being far too confrontational and didn't mean to disrespect you, Yuuki Emiya Shirou-sama."

"Just call me Emiya. Your formal way of addressing me is far too much of a mouthful and is annoying to listen to." He said, taking a seat beside Lala who tried to steal some of Rito's food, which he put a stop to instantly.

"How are your two subordinates doing anyway? I didn't plan to kill them, but they were so stubborn that I was forced to go a bit overboard in order to get my message across."

Zastin nodded his head while munching on the food. "Yes, I have trained them personally and would normally have been most disappointed that they lost so easily. Still, I'm greatly shocked that a human like you exists here wielding such powerful magic. Are you perhaps an alien? I've checked our database again, and Earth shouldn't have any natives nearly as strong or capable as you."

Ho, that was interesting. So he was truly the only one here who could use Magical Energy… or maybe the people on this planet were decent enough at hiding that not even advanced alien civilizations knew of them, or perhaps they simply considered Earth such a backwater that the planet hadn't even been worth a second glance until now. Though as they spoke, Emiya couldn't help but notice how messy of an eater Zastin was — the man had grains of rice all over his armor and face.

"Yes, I am human and for the record, I've never left the planet."

"I see. I guess even among species like humans there are special cases like you after all… Anyways, let's get straight to the point." Zastin spoke as he wiped his mouth with a tissue, though he missed a few spots. "After hearing Maul and Smutts' report yesterday and checking on the Princess' condition, we have reviewed recent events and come to the conclusion that things started off between us on the wrong foot due to a terrible misunderstanding."

"That's one way to phrase it." Emiya nodded, "I had to put together most of the pieces myself, given how this girl over here wasn't exactly being forthright about her circumstances from the beginning."

"So I've been told." Zastin grunted before he let out a small sigh "But I guess I also need to apologize for my subordinates' behavior; they are usually much more patient than that and should have explained the situation first-hand since they were dealing with a native."

"Well, I did strike the first blow by smashing their faces in, not that it affected them in the end. Sure they'd already invaded my home, but we'll call it water under the bridge. They were just doing their duty I suppose."

"That is very gracious of you. However, that still doesn't change our situation." His eyes trailed to Lala "Lala-sama you have to come home."

"No!" She denied.

"Lala-sama please, this is the sixth time you've escaped. Your father will get mad if you keep doing this." He pleaded, accidentally breaking his chopsticks and making a bigger mess on the table.

Emiya's eyes twitched.

"I don't care! Successor or not I'm sick and tired of having to sit through arranged marriage meetings all day every day."

'Wait, sixth time? Just how slippery is this girl!?' Emiya thought to himself, before remembering that she literally had a teleportation device strapped around her wrist. But that only begged the question of why her bodyguards hadn't confiscated the device and any others like it. Unless they did exactly that, and she simply built a new one each time.

"Lala-sama, I beg you to be reasonable. Your father does not do this without reason. You know well how he behaves and what kind of position he's forced into." Even while trying to reason with the girl to the best of his ability, the man's words were still flat-out rejected.

"No! I don't care! Daddy only did this so he can laze around after getting an heir! I won't go home! In fact," Lala suddenly clung onto Emiya's arm. "I want to stay here with Shirou!"

"Lala-sama." Zastin's eyes narrowed. "You know well that can't be allowed."

"And why is that?" Emiya interjected, sensing that Zastin obviously was about to resort to using force. Given that this was his family's home and both his siblings were currently in the house, he couldn't afford to let this escalate. "Listen, I neither care about the affairs of your empire nor about this matter of Lala getting an arranged marriage or whatever. If you forcefully bring her back, she'll just escape for the seventh time, and you'll have to start this whole cat-and-mouse chase all over again from square one. So because of that, let's just come to a simple agreement which does not involve you breaking anything here… or I'll make sure you'll regret it."

"I want to agree with you, and..." Zastin said. "Truthfully I'm quite tired of chasing Lala-sama from one planet to another." He lamented with a sigh "However, I've been given the direct order to take her home and can't ignore it, so please, I'm showing you respect as a fellow warrior and asking you to step away from an internal matter."

"Unfortunately I'm already involved in this to the point that walking away isn't really an option, so how about you instead let me talk with her father?" Emiya proposed, voice calm and nonchalant, surprising both Zastin and Lala. "With any luck we can resolve this family drama nicely and quickly, which I'm sure would be preferable to all parties involved. I know I would, seeing as I literally have a million better things to do with my life than continue to have to deal with this."

"Shirou..." Lala murmured, to think he would go this far… for some reason, the girl felt her chest grow warm from his action and her heart speed up. She knew how much he cared about his siblings; he made that point very apparent last night. Yet he still chose to keep her safe under the same roof as them, and was even willing to face her father despite having no reason to.

"Admittedly your bravery and honesty, as well as your good intentions for Lala-sama are most commendable," Zastin spoke with a troubled voice, his stoic face having also crumbled into a mixture of concern and awe. "But it is not that simple; Gid-sama is not someone who you want to cross and my duties cannot be ignored."

He didn't want to. Emiya was only doing this to remove any sort of misunderstanding between both parties and himself. The last thing he wanted was for a galactic warlord to believe that his daughter was being held captive or that she was in any danger due to some backwater primitives.

"Err..." Lala let out a nervous laugh, "Listen Shirou, you and Daddy may behave similarly, but he still gets very angry very easily…"

"What?" Zastin was caught off guard by that comment. Similar to Gid? How!?

"We'll see. If it goes badly then I can always use you as a hostage." He said casually. "I don't know his character, but if he's willing to go so far over something this small, then he must see you as important enough for your life to hold considerable value to him."

"—!" This time Zastin wasn't so pleased with his remark. "How dare you say such a thing in front of me!?" He tried to get up, but had his eyes widened when his body felt some resistance when trying to move. "Wha… what have you done?"

Just behind his back where he couldn't see, three narrow swords were pierced into his shadow, holding him in place with great effort. A single Black Key wouldn't have been effective against Zastin, and even three wouldn't last long. Emiya could already feel the hold over this man slipping as his enormous strength kept pushing against their effects.

He looked at Zastin in the eyes, his gaze sharpening with traces of killing intent emerging from them. "Please don't start a fight inside the house; Rito is still upstairs and could come down for breakfast any minute now, while Mikan still needs her sleep. You know Lala is safe here, and waiting until we've discussed matters with her father will be much less of an inconvenience to you than having to chase her across the galaxy all over again. Now unless you have something truly urgent that I would actually care about, I'm ending the conversation here; it'll soon be time for my siblings and I to get ready for school, and I don't want to be late… Yui will bite my head off if she catches me being tardy again. You can come back later in the day with everything ready for the meeting. Both Lala and I will talk to Gid and try to come to an understanding. For now, forget about taking her away because that is not happening while I'm here."

"You are going to regret this. His Majesty will not take kindly to this." He said with gritted teeth. "You are only endangering your world and her at the same time by keeping Lala-sama in danger here."

"No. I'm not."

Woosh!

In an instant, dozens of swords surrounded Zastin. Each of them gave off a tremendously powerful killing intent as their tips grazed the skin of his neck. There was no need to further hide his power since others had already seen it. The alien warrior felt a dreadful chill run up his spine just from being near these weapons. Some of them exuded so much killing intent and bloodlust that even on their own, they easily rivaled some of the greatest monsters he'd ever faced in the galaxy. So many at once though…

'Just who is this person!?' Having this kind of power… it was unheard of! Was he part of Eden? No, that couldn't be the case; his power was far different from any kind of body transformation, and he did not carry any matter he was familiar with. And he had already double checked the records personally before coming here and they left no doubt in his mind — the boy was born and raised on Earth. Though his biological family died, none of them had any connection to anyone outside Earth. His entire life's footprint could be traced for an entire decade into the past, so he couldn't have originated from space.

Emiya continued to talk.

"If by going to any length to ensure that my home and family stay out of this, then I will keep Lala in my care and will keep her safe — because I know your emperor won't do anything to us as long as she's here and I can't have you take her back without being guaranteed that you people will leave my world alone after."

This was just a show of power, to prove that he had the capabilities and power to keep their princess safe for the meantime.

"... You're putting me in a difficult position, Emiya." He spoke calmly, and got his emotions under control. "I can schedule a meeting with the emperor later today, but I warn you, he's not so easy to reason with. Strong-arming him will not only be unsuccessful, but it is a tactic you will soon regret should you try it."

"That is for me to worry about, you just need to leave us alone for now and arrange for this meeting to happen. Either in person or through whatever kind of long-range communications your people have, I don't care which." Emiya's ears twitched, and in an instant, all the swords surrounding Zastin and the Black Keys disappeared into motes of light. Both Lala and her bodyguard were caught by surprise until they heard the sound of someone yawning as they were making their way down the stairs.

"Haaaa… Nii-san, is Mikan sick? Because I… just…" his words died in his throat when seeing the two strange people sitting at the table. The mysterious girl who he thought had been just a dream, and a giant man clad in bone armor. "Am I still dreaming?"

"No, I'm afraid you're not." Emiya answered, bringing up a simple smile on his face. "This is Zastin and Lala, the former is a cosplayer while Lala is a temporary guest. Just as a side note, Zastin seems to be one of those LARPers specifically, and is cosplaying as what I assume to be some kind of alien knight, seeing as he's been referring to me as an Earthling this whole time."

"..."

'A live action role-playing cosplayer?' Rito wondered silently.

"Um, I know this is a bit awkward to say… but can I have another bowl of your Earth food? I forgot to have breakfast this morning." Zastin asked shyly, making Emiya sigh.

"No, you already ate the entire pot… which was supposed to be enough for five people." He would need to whip up something else for Mikan, plus he still had to make lunch bentos for everyone. Most notably a batch of tempura and tonkatsu for a certain someone who he made a promise to the other day.

"I'll pay for it. Do you Earthlings accept gold?"

"Get out of my house."

This wasn't a restaurant and he didn't need the money.

{Break}

-An hour later-

"…So let me get this straight." Rito said aloud as he glanced between Emiya and the pink haired girl, the latter wearing a Sainan High School uniform. "Last night you met Lala-san who was running away from her house because of a disagreement with her father and decided to shelter her until both of them talk things out with each other. While Zastin is her older brother who came by to check on her?"

"Yes." Emiya nodded, yawning as they walked to school.

"Yup!" Lala cheerfully added, contrasting his lackadaisical attitude. "Shirou was a true hero who helped me when I needed him the mos—Ah!" She stopped mid sentence by getting flicked on the head by the annoyed redhead.

"Not a hero, I was just looking out for myself and my family."

Rito stared at Lala, feeling a phantom pain on his forehead as well. He empathized with her given how he used to receive the same treatment as well. His brother did not like being called a hero at all, despite his numerous heroic acts. It was yet another reason why both he and Mikan called him a tsundere in secret.

He pondered Emiya's words, "I see. That is unfortunate, but you did the right thing, Nii-san! Don't worry Lala-san, we will all do our best to help you and you can always count on Nii-san, he is the most reliable person I know." His trust in his elder brother was big enough that he even felt comfortable bragging about it.

Emiya sweatdropped as he stared at the orange haired boy looking at him with such admiration. Rito had always been quite gullible and was too trusting for his own good. He barely asked any questions or expressed even the slightest doubt.

"I think so too! If only Peke shared your opinion…"

As soon as she said that, the pink bracelet on her wrist began to talk.

"Of course I would doubt this hooligan, Lala-sama! This man is dangerous and can't be trusted, especially after what he did last night."

"What is that!?" Rito shouted with surprise, looking at Lala's hands in disbelief. Meanwhile, Emiya couldn't stop himself from facepalming; he told that damn robot to shut up and not talk in front of other people!

"Ah… this is Peke, he's a clothing robot I created!" Lala said, seeing his expression and coming up with an explanation but still failing in the end by just blurting out the truth.

"Really? Wow, you must be some kind of genius!"

"..."

That worked, somehow.

He decided to not question it and just keep walking. Rito's gullible nature turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

"Hey, Rito, isn't that Sairenji?" By some stroke of luck, he spotted the blue haired girl crossing the road in front of them. She hadn't noticed them yet so he decided that this was a good opportunity for Rito to work on a certain problem of his while also giving him and Lala a little privacy. "Go talk to her, I bet she was worried about you after what happened yesterday."

"Eh? But you were the one who nearly—"

"Go!" With a stern voice and a single push, he forced Rito to awkwardly walk towards the girl and try to start a conversation. With his brother out of the way, Emiya turned his attention to the bracelet and glared at the robot.

"You really don't know how to keep a low profile, do you?" He asked, keeping attention to his surroundings.

"Your brother was bound to find out about me at some point. And I still don't like you." The little robot with swirling eyes said, its tone obviously quite salty over a recent decision Emiya had made.

"Peke, are you perhaps angry that Shirou forbid you to turn into my current clothes?" Lala couldn't help but comment while adjusting the school uniform she got from the redhead. It felt a bit tight on her chest, but she didn't mind it at all.

"Of course I mind, Lala-sama! My entire purpose is to transform into any kind of clothing that you desire and this man robbed that from me!"

The man in question rolled his eyes, though he understood the robot's frustration and decided to explain his reasoning again. "Don't be overly dramatic, you're still fulfilling your duty and are being worn as a bracelet. The reason why I asked Lala to not use you as her main clothing is because of how long school hours are in general. Given that you operate on a battery, I don't want Lala to suddenly find herself standing naked, especially not anywhere near that perverted principal." Some of the rumors circulating the school halls told a tale of how that short, fat old man could sense a naked woman from a mile away, and he had no desire of finding out whether it was true or not.

"But where did you even get these clothes!? I scanned all the pieces of clothing in the house and didn't find anything like this at all." Peke asked, feeling frustrated that it couldn't dispute Emiya's argument. On top of caring about its creator's modesty, Peke was also designed to watch over her safety and health and that part of it knew that Emiya was right.

"You must have missed it. Maybe your scanners are faulty and need a checkup."

Projecting a Sainan Academy girls' uniform able to fit Lala had been slightly tricky. Only two people he knew were around her measurements: Yui and Risa… he went with the former for obvious reasons.

While they were talking, Emiya made sure to keep an eye on Rito and Sairenji. The boy would try to confess to her at this moment, but the time wasn't right. He saw Rito panic and act frantically around her, trying his best to keep the conversation going and even try to make her laugh — even though it clearly wasn't working. But she didn't seem to be that into the conversation, her gaze going around until it landed on him and Lala. She stared at them for longer than he expected, looking like she was taken aback by the pink-haired girl. He waved casually at her before returning to his talk with the alien princess.

"Hey Lala, yesterday I was nearly killed by a disk shaped meteorite crashing into my school… Was that you?" Both he and Yui were this close from ending up as a series of stains on the floor and walls.

Lala tilted her head, looking at him in confusion. "No, I don't think so. I teleported right after my ship was damaged and landed in your house. My ship would have crashed after I got there and not before… That was most likely Maul and Smutts' shuttle."

"..."

He should have used stronger Noble Phantasms on them for that alone.

Beep!

A loud car horn blew from the side of the road. Everyone stopped and were awed by the appearance of a luxurious white limousine with a golden outline. It drove at almost highway speed before coming to a screeching halt in front of Emiya and Lala, blocking their passage.

A bad feeling arose in his heart when he saw the familiar emblem emblazoned on the side of the car. In the entire school, there could only have been a single person who would flaunt her wealth like this… and this specific person had never stopped bothering him from the moment they became aware of him.

A window rolled down showing the face of Rin, looking at him with a deadly gaze that promised pain if he didn't comply. She even held her shinai out as a threat, though there was a strange glint of eagerness in her eyes.

"Get in here if you want to liv—pa!" She was hit on the back of her head. Her attitude changed completely as she now showed the most ugly and fake smile he'd seen in this life. One that rivaled that of a certain fake priest. "I-I mean, we were merely passing through, and just so happened to see you walking to school all by yourself, and so my kind and beautiful mistress decided, in her infinite grace and generosity, to give you a ride to school this morning! So you'd better be grateful or els—puh!" A white glove smacked the girl in her face.

Emiya didn't know whether to cry or laugh. He hadn't even passed through the school entrance, yet he already was having to deal with so many ridiculous things ever since he woke up.

"How… generous of you, Rin." He said sarcastically while pinching the space between his eyes. "I have to say I never took you for a comedian. You almost made me laugh with that attempt at politeness."

The glare from the girl intensified, but she kept it under control while still putting up that scarily fake smile of hers.

And he still had to deal with Lala's father later after school today, nevermind whatever chaos school itself might bring.

Just great…

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The next 5 chapters of Snafu, Harry Potter and my 3 other Fate fics (Fate Coiling Sword with 3 chapters, A Fake Familiar Reborn with 3 chapters and To love a sword having 4 chapters) are already available on my P@treon. With 4 more Broly chapters at /NimtheWriter. Also, I post monthly commissioned arts on each story, already posted a few on an Archer's Promise, Broly and Snafu.