5 Parents (music)

Marguerite opens the door with a sigh and a trail of dust. She is especially tired today. All she wants is to dive headfirst into the bedsheets and sleep, but she has to study. Chad hasn't come home yet. She removes her headphones and throws them on the couch, where her book still lays. Then she goes to the bathroom to shower and wake herself up with some cold water.

Marguerite always felt like her brain processed things much better under running water. It's like the water washes away all the unnecessary thoughts and feelings that obstruct her ability to think reasonably. She takes a strand of her auburn hair and smells it to soothe her mind.

Chad is clearly affected by the whole "no children" thing. However, he promised her that he would love her no matter what and that he is willing to sacrifice having a family for her. Marguerite isn't so convinced. She has known him for so long and knows that his mind has always been around getting married and building a family. He comes from a conservative religious family where he was taught the values of relationships. He grew up in a well-built family where he was never exposed to the struggles and negative sides of his parents' marriage. His parents never fought in front of him and sacrificed even their comfort to appear happy in front of their children. They are still happily married today.

For him, children are the signification of success, children in a marriage of course, and to know that he could never have that probably changed his whole worldview.

Marguerite suggested adoption, but his response to it was rather lukewarm. She didn't know what to do to save it anymore, it's not like she could do anything about it, and that's probably the worst part of it.

Chad told her repeatedly, he doesn't care, it doesn't matter, he still loves her.

She turns the water dispenser head from the red section to the blue one and closes her eyes face against the direction of the water.

All it took was one night? A single night was enough to put our relationship in the tensest position it has ever been? It's not like they never faced any tribulations before. Though this time, it's more like a dead-end.

She knows so many happy marriages who reached menopause without having children. Why can't they do the same? Can't they just get a bunch of cats and dogs to fill the house?

She gets out of the shower and gets herself a brush. While brushing her hair, she stares at herself dead in the eyes of her reflection. She stares without blinking, almost with anger. She looks at the light freckles surrounding her nose, her thin lips, and high nose. She doesn't mind them at all. She never saw herself as a gorgeous femme fatale, but she thought she was at least cute.

She breaks out of her trance-like state after pulling too hard at her hair. Putting on her underwear, she goes back to her room and wears her usual nightrobe with cats and mouses printed on it. Turning on the radio with her favourite album disc of Nothing but thieves inside, she opens her laptop and starts the assignments she was given.

I'll meet you at the divide

To break the spell

A point where two worlds collide

Yeah, we'll rebel

Chad comes home a while later from a long night out with his friends. If before he was up for a welcome party, now he didn't feel that excited any longer. His friends realized his special mood and forced laughter so they didn't insist much when he decided to leave early. He puts down his bag full of gifts on the nearest chair and pours himself a cup of water to detoxify a bit.

And we run (×7)

Until we break through!

Leaning his back on the counter facing the sink, Chad reassesses his priorities once more. Noticing the music in his lover's room, Chad doesn't bother going in to make his presence known, he fears that his girlfriend doesn't buy into his bullshit. He always had a hard time lying or hiding something from her clever mind. This is a disadvantage for him in this situation. He wishes he could just press pause for a second, and just think for a year before pressing play. He feels that no matter what path he chooses from now on, he will end up unhappy, or worse, his lover will end up unhappy.

If I get high enough

Will I see you again?

He finds it funny how Marguerite always made the biggest sacrifices for him without hesitating, but here he is, breaking a sweat over the mere fact of her not being able to procreate. He feels weak and pathetic. He used to take her sacrifices for granted, not realizing how strong and courageous she is, how hard it is to make decisions in life, he feels like a child. She proposed adoption, but if he doesn't want children that will tell him later on that he is not their father, children that do not look like him, like the proof of their love for each other, children that won't carry his bloodline, that he can't present to his parents proudly. They will end up looking for their roots later on anyway, abandoning him.

I fill my lungs every night

Not long to wait

And if I do this thing right

I dream of our escape

Maybe he just doesn't love her as much as he believed himself to. Maybe he loves her conditionally. Maybe he's just a douchebag that doesn't deserve her.

And we run (×7)

Until we break through!

Marguerite goes out to get herself a mug of milk. When she lifts her head and sees him, she is first taken aback and jumps in shock, but she quickly puts on a smile and goes to greet him.

"When did you come back?"

"Just now, I was thirsty."

That last part felt like a justification made in guilt, but she purposely ignores the feeling and tries to act as if everything is fine. Chad gets reminded of his mother in a weird sense. It is quite disturbing to see her being so indifferent when he is feeling beat up over this. He knows it is just an act, but it is disturbing nonetheless to him.

If I get high enough

Will I see you again?

If I get high

Chad looks at her drink her milk and takes a sip of his water. He thought over his possibilities and realizes that he doesn't have much control over what is going to happen from now on. Neither does she. Therefore he decides to ask for some help.

"Marguerite. I think I should pay a visit to my mother."

Marguerite almost lost her grip on the mug. She feels a sense of dread as the nagging feeling tugging at her heart she had been feeling for a while comes back to hunt her again.

"Fine. Send her my greetings by the way."

"Sure will."

And we run (×7)

Until we break through!

And we run (×7)

Next chapter