Break-up

Marguerite hasn't come out of her studio for who knows how many days. She is currently binge-watching a YouTuber's channel called InsaneReader. He's videos last one hour or less which is perfect for Marguerite who is trying to distract herself from reality.

She looks at the little kid's face complaining and ranting for hours about how Zenith doesn't deserve all the hype and why divergent went down the toilet. Suddenly she hears the sound of the keys being inserted into the lock of her front door. Her heart jumps and a suffocating feeling of uneasiness submerges her. She wants to run away and find a quiet place to hide from the evil clutches of her reality. <Today is probably the day he will abandon me.>

Marguerite, the good girl who never does drugs, never curses, never smokes, and barely gets drunk, suddenly feels like getting high. As the slow footsteps quietly disturb her peace, she suddenly wants to stop caring. She wants to buy a motorcycle, get drunk, drive full speed on the highway while listening to rock 'n roll and sing at the top of her lungs some ACDC.

The door of the bedroom creaks and Chad's complicated face comes into view. Marguerite ignores him and continues to lay on the bed while watching the YouTuber as if she didn't hear him come home.

Chad clears his throat to get her attention.

"Oh! Did you come home? Sorry I didn't hear you."

Marguerite adjusts herself so that she is facing him while leaning on a bunch of pillows. Chad doesn't expose her and understandingly goes to sit down on the bed right next to her.

Chad doesn't speak yet. He looks at his beautiful lover's face. He suddenly gets a flashback of all the good times they had together: he had so much fun during those six years. It sure was a rollercoaster of emotions. Marguerite has always been there, she never disappointed him, she picked him up when he was down and encouraged him in his most insecure states. His most beautiful memories are with her, she was his first love and he always thought it would be his last. She understood him more than anyone besides his parents. But here he is, abandoning her in her most dire state, disappointing her and betraying her love for him. In the end, no matter what happens after this, she will always have a place in his heart. Something inside is telling him that he will regret this forever, that this day will haunt him for the rest of his life. His mother's words echo in his mind and he sighs. He feels terrible.

"I had dinner with my parents."

"I know. How are they doing? Is mom sleeping better?"

Marguerite calls her mom on purpose. She is acting desperate. If she can just create a spark to move him, to remind him of all those years, maybe then he will stay. Maybe then he will not leave her to die. What she doesn't know is that Chad has not forgotten. No matter how many years and memories they share, Chad's filial piety is always stronger. Marguerite underestimates his mother's influence on him.

"I think, we should take a break. Just to think over certain things on our own. I'll get myself an apartment and move my things. It's just to figure out our stuff."

Chad doesn't really know how to put it. So he just rambles without finding the right words to make it better.

Marguerite stares at his chiseled face, his straight nose, and his long eyelashes. This handsome man that she loves, that she gave her everything to. She searches his eyes. But Chad refuses to even look up. When her silent stare almost turns into a glare and he can't take anymore, she speaks.

"No need."

Chad finally looks up in confusion. This time it's Marguerite who averts her eyes.

She is angry. <Really? Because she lost the ability to bear a child?> Disappointment, anger, and grief flash in her irises but she hides her unfallen tears with her hair. Marguerite never cried in front of Chad, and she won't start today. <He wants to live? Fine. I'll let him go.> Marguerite suddenly thinks that maybe she doesn't know him as much as she thinks. Maybe this is the real him, a caward and a selfish jerk.

She sacrificed too much. She gave him too much of herself. And now it comes back to bite her in the ass.

"What break? You don't need to use euphemisms with me. You want to break up? Go ahead. I won't beg you to stay."

Chad looks at her dropped head. Her muffled voice and the slight trembling tells him that she's holding back tears. He feels his heart tear apart and falling to pieces. He regrets it instantly. But it's too late now.

With sadness and grief drowning his hole being, he stands up without saying a word. He cannot speak in case he falls apart, but Marguerite takes it differently. For her, his silence is an acquiescence of her previous words. <So he does want to break up...>

She still has hope that maybe he would change his mind midway. If he only says one word of reluctance, she will push him on the bed and prevent him from leaving her side. She just wants him to tell her that he loves her one last time, to make sure all these years weren't just a fragile dream she had made up.

Chad takes a semi-step and suddenly looks back at her still hidden face. With pain and hesitance, he stretches out his hand, seemingly wanting to pat her head. Marguerite suddenly feels a surge of hope and joy, but Chad quickly retracts his hand and leaves the bedroom like wolves are chasing his patoot.

Marguerite could barely take the rollercoaster of emotions. First, he kills her with cruelty, then he brings her to heaven, just to let her fall back down to her death.

With a blank face and moist eyes, Marguerite still doesn't let her tears fall knowing that Chad is next door. She robotically takes out her phone and presses on a contact. A voice echoes into her ear.

"Hello?"

It was a female voice. It was full of energy and light, making her momentarily forget the pain in her chest.

"Sarah, can I come over?"

The woman named Sarah hears the strange tone of her friend and instantly feels that something isn't quite right.

"Of course! Do you even need to ask? My house is yours."

"Thanks, Sarah."

Marguerite laughs a bit at her matter-of-fact tone, but her laugh almost sounds like sobs. It's like a knife is inserted inside her heart and it moves at any gesture she makes, making her rock-still on the bed, not daring to rumble her bleeding chest with laughter.

Sarah becomes even more worried and starts to fuss over her. But Marguerite quickly dismisses her with an "I'll explain everything when we meet." and hangs up. She doesn't feel like getting out of bed. Her mind is full of dark clouds and she suddenly just wants to sleep and forget. So that's what she does.