Chap 5: She is her daughter too

Scene: Lin Family Home, Master's Bedroom

Ning Erlang sighed. She is currently sitting on the bed, waiting for her husband, Lin Jin, to come out from the bathroom.

She was thinking about her eldest daughter, Qin Ran.

She has a lot of mixed feelings. In her mind, she knew that she must treat Qin Ran the way she treated Xiaowen. However, she can't find it in her heart the fondness a mother should have for a daughter. It's not that she hated Qin Ran. It is just that she always felt uncomfortable about the guilt she had been feeling for this daughter.

When she left Qin Ran to her mother, she had relinquished all motherly love for her so that she won't miss Qin Ran. Eventually, as she gave birth to Xiaowen, all her love was poured into her second daughter. As a result, she slowly forgot that she has another daughter.

Knowing her eldest daughter's existence, it was always Lin Jin who send her the monthly support. And so Ning Erlang doesn't have to worry about that. In the end, she truly didn't think about Qin Ran through all these years.

Now, all she can feel is the guilt of not being able to feel any motherly love when she met Qin Ran after years of separation. She hated the idea of being a bad person. But no matter how she tried, she can force herself to comfort Qin Ran and welcome her with a motherly warmth Ning Erlang effortlessly showered to Xiaowen.

"What's with the long face?" Lin Jin asked as he got out of the bathroom, holding a face towel to dry his wet hair with.

Ning Erlang sat up, took the towel, and helped Lin Jin dry his hair.

"Am I such a bad mother to Qin Ran? I worry that if I can't treat her like I treat Xiao'er, she would be rebellious and hard to control. I don't want to cause you and the Lin family any trouble." Ning Erlang said.

Lin Jin looked at his wife. "Don't overthink too much. Give both of you time to get to know each other. Also, don't force yourself to treat her as you treat Xiao'er. As long as you are not intentionally mean to Qin Ran and do your best as a mother, I don't think she will be rebellious. She looks obedient so far."

"I hope so. You know your family didn't welcome me and only now gave me a face because of you and Xiao'er. That is why I am worried that Qin Ran might cause me trouble and destroy the effort I have made through the years so I can be treated well by your sister and father." Ning Erlang explained.

Lin Jin shook his head. "Qin Ran is Qin Ran, you are you. If she causes trouble, we can send her elsewhere. So rest assured that she won't do you any harm. But those are just speculations. Your daughter looks like a good girl. Cultivate this thought and support her the best way you can so she will be filial to you."

Erlang sighed again and nodded her head as though she had decided to do something important.

"You are right. I will do my best to be fair to her."

"Great. So take that frown off your face and let's sleep."

Scene: Lin Family Home, Living Room

"Qin Ran, wait." Ning Erlang called her eldest daughter as she is going out the door on her way to school.

Qin Ran stopped walking and looked at her mother walking towards her.

"Here, take this. It is a cash card. This is where I will be putting your monthly allowance. I am giving you 3000 yuan per month. Spend it well." She said.

Qin Ran took the card and looked at it. "Hmmm, a cash card would do her well." she thought. She does need money to build her defenses. She looked at Erlang and smiled pleasantly.

"Thank you, mom." She said softly.

Ning Erlang looked at her daughter. She can't deny how Qin Ran looked like her and more as her daughter is really beautiful. Seeing how Qin Ran smiled at her pleasantly, some heavy burden was lifted up from her heart. "Perhaps me and Qin Ran can have a pleasant relationship between us. It might not be the same as I have with Xiao'er but at least, we can live harmoniously together." Erlang thought.

"I will go now." Qin Ran said before walking out the door.