Rule #3- The Blur of Life is Blinding And so is Sorrow

I watched as the trees passed by in a blur. My brain could barely process each one as my manager sped on the highway. The life of an idol is hectic. We get crammed with so many appearances and jobs that's it almost impossible to keep up with them all.

I think our companies often forget that we're not gods, we're just humans. Fans worship the ground we walk on but...we're far from perfect.

Sometimes I too get too caught up in the blur of life, I think I can do things I can't. I push myself past my limits but it's all worth it. The harder I work the more I can achieve. I'm so close to my dream, failing now is not optional.

A hand clasped down roughly on my shoulder, bringing me out of my clouded thoughts. The moment I turned around a camera was thrust into my face, which wasn't new for me. However the real cheery tones of my band mates that filled my ears was. Their happiness caused me to smile as I turned to look at them.

Their different colored hair reminded me of skittles. Dae- Hyun was red, X was yellow, Hyun ki was purple, Tae Joon was blue and I...was the odd one out with my natural dark hair.

"Seo Joon! Say hi!" X chirped. His eyes were lit with happiness and you could basically see joy radiating from his body. If you couldn't tell, X is the *maknae. He—compared to Dae Hyun whos 25– was pretty young at a age of 16.

He reminds me of well me. I became a trainee when I was 13 and was thrust into the limelight when I was 15. This life has been my entire teenage life

I threw up heart fingers before speaking, "Hello!"

After saying my part Tae Joon tossed an envelope in my lap then Dae-Hyuns lap, Dae-Hyun smiled at the camera before quietly opening the letter in his lap.

Dae-Hyun has always been quiet. Ever since he was added into the group he was always a quiet one, the others say it's just the way he is but I think his history plays into it. Dae-Hyun is known through the k-pop world as the cursed one.

Before joining our group, Eternity, Dae-Hyun was in three previous bands before then.

His first band, Trust, got caught in a scandal that brought not only the group down but the entertainment company Trust was signed under too. Dae-Hyun was the only one that wasn't brought down and black listed. One of his band mates in that group committed suicide after the downfall. He was only seventeen.

It was when he was in his second band, Afterlife, that he earned the title cursed. On a rainy night Dae-Hyun and his band were involved in a car accident. Four of the six members—plus their manager— died. The remaining two members Dae-Hyun and Taehyung survived, but Taehyung had injuries so bad, that he would succumb to them two years later. At the time he was nineteen.

He took a three year break before debuting with Enchanted when he was 22. Everything was going well until, two members of the group committed a suicide pact then the other member of the four, got arrested for drug possession.

After learning about his past it's no wonder every time the topic of a idol death pops up, he tenses and goes quieter than usual. You can see the small amount of light leave his eyes and his soul leave his body.

I don't know why he's still pursuing the dream of being an Idol.

This dream of being an Idol brings sorrow and pain, but eventually it all blurs together and your left wondering why you doubted the dream