18 Chapter 17

A scuffling, then a flip. A crumple. Light and papery.

Elizabeth’s head was not stable to counter-actively open her eyes, and as she tried to lift her eyes a surge of pain shot through her brain making her shut them back instantly. But the scuffling noise continued, and it was definitely not in her head, that she knew.

Her whole body yearned to ignore the light and noise and bury herself into the dark hollow of her pillows and duvet. But the noise ticked her off. Straggling her strength up she lifted her eyes as slowly as she could, biting back the pain that whizzed through her and as she did her sight fell on the arm chair across the room which had her Doc martens resting neatly at the foot of the chair.

A ruffling noise made Elizabeth turn her head cautiously to the other corner of the room where she saw Savannah’s tight ponytail slicked down behind her head as she stood over the coffee table flipping pages of a book. Elizabeth knew her books well enough she could distinguish them under the restraints of a hangover- it was the blue leathered poetry book from Hope Mayfield’s box.

Elizabeth slid off her bed, wincing at every pain that bolted through her head and limped towards Savannah, which was the only way she could move without falling to her knees. Savannah did not seem to be bothered when Elizabeth slumped on a chair by the coffee table.

“Hey…there,” Elizabeth murmured groggily. Savannah smiled halfway and provided her attention back to the book. Elizabeth nodded her head lightly and regretted as needles pricked her brain. Never having spoken to anyone before coffee in the morning while being hungover, Elizabeth sucked in her breath and leaned toward Savannah.

Savannah continued to turn the pages using her fingertips as if Elizabeth had been there beside her the whole time. Instead of speaking, Elizabeth decided to quietly watch how Savannah's translucent blue eyes were still at the words of Lewis Carroll’s Jabberwocky, with laser focus interest. For an eleven-year-old, Savannah looked like she knew what the poet rambled about.

“Find anything interesting?’ Elizabeth asked breaking the silence, sensing the throbbing pounds in her head beginning to fade away sluggishly. Savannah glanced at Elizabeth and then narrowed her eyes at the book again.

“Did Lewis Carroll just make these words up?” She asked eyes wide.

“I think he did,” Elizabeth said thoughtfully and then shrugged, “or maybe they already existed in his world, we just didn’t know.”

“His world?’ She tilted her head in confusion.

“We’ve all got our own worlds,” Elizabeth said and lightly tapped on the side of Savannah’s head with her fingertip. “Right there.”

Savannah held her gaze at Elizabeth in a trance for a second before she shrugged away.

“I’d like to make my own words. That’d be pretty cool.” She smiled to herself flipping the pages automatically. “Wackabadoo would be the first.”

Elizabeth laughed and even though it stirred her head in pain, she did not really mind anymore.

“You would top Lewis Carroll I’m sure of it,” Elizabeth said seriously and felt surprisingly light as Savannah giggled in reply. The girl leaped over to the last page of the yellow stained poetry book and a few photographs stuck between the pages, caught her eyes. They were Elizabeth’s polaroids from her escapades to Hawaii and Europe. She had five pictures of her jumping into the Ho’omaluhia Botanical garden lake in O’ahu, in her pearl green two piece that Lorraine had got for her nineteenth birthday; the other picture of Elizabeth grinning toothily up at the ceiling of the Sistine chapel; and her favourite one of her staring at the turquoise waters by the sandy shores of Porto Cesareo. Elizabeth carried the three pictures with her as a lucky charm reminding of her to make newer, more enthralling memories that would be better than the ones before.

Savannah picked up the Polaroids in her firm hands and turned to Elizabeth.

“You’ve been everywhere,” she breathed in amazed.

“Not everywhere, just the special ones,” Elizabeth smiled, “do you have a special place you’d like to go?”

“I wanna go everywhere. The whole world.” Savannah laughed in excitement and Elizabeth smiled amazed to truly witness the existence of anyone after her own heart.

“Why?” She asked abruptly.

“Huh?” Savannah was distracted by the pictures.

“Why do you want to travel the world?”

Savannah neatly tucked the photos back into the poetry book and slipped off the chair.

“Because there’s so much I wanna see out there, and tonnes of new people to meet obviously.” She smiled unfazed.

“But won’t you miss your momma and daddy?” Elizabeth could not stop herself now.

“I will,” Savannah answered breezily, “but it’ll be okay, I’ll always come home.”

Elizabeth nodded her head and smiled at the girl absent minded.

“Where will you go next, Elizabeth?” Savannah asked. Elizabeth always had an answer to where she would next be, it the undeniable verve of yearning to blurt the next destination. But today she could not and surprisingly all she felt was remorse.

“I’m gonna have to think that over,” Elizabeth muttered and turned her subject to the girl, “but you have an eye for adventure don’t you?”

“Always did and will,” Savannah said proudly.

“And poetry too if I’m right?”

“Oh yes, lately at school poems with miss Josephine have been darn interesting!” She said and quickly clamped her mouth shut with her hand.

“I won’t tell anyone,” Elizabeth chuckled remembering the strict no swear policy Vivian had established for the girls, which had constituted mostly of Savannah’s pocket money.

“Swear jars are stupid,” Savannah frowned and involuntarily cleaned the coffee table, keeping back Elizabeth’s book on top of the other books and adjusting the old vase in which Savannah had just placed a fresh bunch off daisies, which had been her primary motive of slipping into Elizabeth’s room until the books got to her. “Thank you.”

“What for?” Elizabeth asked titling her head.

“For lettin’ me peek at the poems and pictures,” Savannah said and turned to leave, when she turned right back again, “most guests are weird and boring, but you’re cool.”

“You’re always welcome in here as long as I’m here.” Elizabeth smiled.

Savannah nodded her head appreciatively and quickly looked at the rubber strapped red watch on her hand as if she had just remembered something, “oh and momma said Hailey stopped by for you.” Then narrowed her sharp eyes at Elizabeth, “also you look funny with your hair sticking up like that, so as your official junior-host I suggest you take a warm shower and a good filling breakfast even though it’s almost noon.” She finished in her prim voice and beamed followed by a light curtsy.

Elizabeth felt attacked and quickly ran a hand down her crusty curls from the breeze and dry shampoo from last night.

“Gotcha capn’.” Elizabeth winked at Savannah and drew herself a bath immediately after the girl left.

*****

After Savannah’s instructions and a few Advil, Elizabeth headed to the diner to meet Hailey. As she woke up, the events of last night were a thick black blur, but after Vivian had laid out the story, Elizabeth felt flashes of memory creep in the clearer and sober she felt through the day. It was not complete, but she vividly remembered being witnessed by half the town while she almost threw herself at Jasper. She shrunk inwards at the memory, all of her wanting to be whisked away to thin air.

With all her courage she treaded into the diner and the moment she did she felt cornered at how soon the heads turned towards her, only this time instead of looking confused they, well almost all of them, had a combined look of pity and embarrassment which contradictorily made Elizabeth feel like she had murdered someone.

“Elizabeth!” Hailey waved over to her booth and that only made things worse as more heads turned. Fixing her eyes on the aisle she headed to the booth and as she passed the counter, the corner of her eyes caught Ruby’s.

“H hey…Ruby.” Elizabeth murmured and waited for Ruby to ignore her.

Ruby sighed and leaned towards Elizabeth, shaking her head.

“Well don’t you look like you’ve been chewed and spat out,” Ruby narrowed her eyes, but her voice was light.

Elizabeth’s face fell back in relief.

“I—I thought you’d—

“Hate you? Ask you never to step in here?”

“—after last night.”

“Oh no hun, we’ve all had our worst sides creep out after a bit of firewater.” She winked.

Elizabeth raised her eyes in agreement.

“Why don’t you go meet your friend and I’ll get you my finest hangover kale smoothie that will send the drunk devil back to where it came from.” Said Ruby reassuringly.

Elizabeth scrunched her nose at the thought of kale.

“Thank you, Ruby,” she turned to leave and stopped, “and I’m terribly sorry about last night.”

“I know,” Ruby smiled affectionately and shooed her away.

Even though she felt comforted that Ruby had the heart to see her, Elizabeth could not help feeling nauseated at the glances that met her every single minute.

“Ignore them please,” Hailey begged for the hundredth time.

“I see why it’s hard to blunder in small towns,” Elizabeth investigated her glass of green mush that she could not get through to her after the first sip.

“Elizabeth I’m sorry for pushing you into doing this, I…I shouldn’t have contacted you in the first place,” Hailey fell into a pool of regret and pity, and a trace of fear.

“What happened Hailey?” Elizabeth asked picking up the changed tone of her voice.

Hailey’s face looked dead beaten and guilty; she gripped her cup tightly.

“Jasper said that Harrison heard about the fight last night, because of the letter,” Hailey spoke slowly, “so he asked to let it go.”

Elizabeth waited for more, but nothing was evident.

“What?”

“He doesn’t want the letter anymore Elizabeth,” Hailey stated in guilt, “I’m so sorry.”

“So that’s it?” Elizabeth slumped back in her seat, utterly unaware of what she should do next.

“Look I’m so—

“No,” Elizabeth stopped Hailey, “none of this is your fault. Last night was my fault, deciding to come here when I could have said no--again on me. I pushed myself here as a perfect excuse for another one of my selfish grand escapades.” Elizabeth placed a dollar for her smoothie that was now surely unapproachable and stood up.

“I guess this is it then,” Elizabeth nodded at Hailey, “I’ll say it again—it’s not your fault you did what anyone with hope would do. I have another week here I’m sure I’ll see you around, Hailey.” She smiled briefly at Hailey who was dumbfounded and speechless and paced her way out of the diner as fast as she could.

****

Elizabeth did not know where she was heading that afternoon after she left the diner, hence she decided to do the thing where she would just let her feet take control and not her head. The walk-run turned into a jog and before she knew it she was running across the street, the empty streets of Chelseaville.

Post-founders’ day, the streets looked ghostly and empty as everyone stayed in to sleep through the day after a heavy night of celebration. She ran through the fabric littered streets with dead trodden on tulip petals, now crushed with heavy feet and dived into the small pathway with overgrown shrubs. When she came out of the clearing and saw the old Crawford ranch, she did not stop, instead she kept going, allowing her feet to take her further into the hidden pathway that led to the lake.

It was five in the afternoon and the lake sparkled gloriously as it always did. Elizabeth stopped to pant heavily as cardio had never been her go-to, so it took her a while to stop gasping for breath like a fish out of water.

Once she regained her breath Elizabeth walked towards the docks as the empty shore filled her with relief, all the running just to tumble into a vast space of paradise seemed worth it. Everything she had felt since last night’s events and Hailey’s breakthrough made her want to run away from it all, away from everyone. As the evening breeze tickled her skin, she felt her eyes sting lightly at the wash of comfort that passed through her, but her relief was short lived as a voice called out from behind her.

Elizabeth swivelled around and saw a familiar face coming out of the Shrimp Shack, a local favourite restaurant, by the dock. She instantly recognised him as the guy from the barbecue night on Founder’s Day with the floral shirt who was also tipsy the whole time.

“Um hi?” She squinted at him. When he walked up close only did she make out his sandy blonde hair, the feathery pendant chain cascading down his chest, and his half-buttoned shirt attempting to display his obvious commitment to ab workouts.

“Hey, you” he grinned at her cheekily, “you do know that nobody walks alone by the docks after Founder’s Day right?” He asked, the grin dancing on his face.

Elizabeth felt her brows furrowing.

“No, why? Because they’d fall prey to a dropout from B4-4 like you?’ Elizabeth asked in a heated mock tone. The guy instantly raised his hands in defence and laughed.

“Whoa don’t you got a burr in your saddle,” he said looking slightly worried.

“Wha- I don’t even know what that means!” She huffed, her former frustration climbing its way up her again. She glared at the guy who was pursing his lips now, hiding an obvious smile.

Just then Elizabeth saw behind the guy, where Nolan leapt out of his catamaran and walked towards them. The sight of him made her face falter tragically as she remembered how Vivian had mentioned that he was one who took her back to the inn after her chaotic display. Little flashes from last night swiped through her mind and she felt her cheeks flaring up.

“Ardy, let her be now,” Nolan said casually to the sandy blonde guy who now had a name. He smiled at Elizabeth apologetically. She noticed Nolan’s white pants and light blue denim shirt rolled up to his sleeves which reminded her of a sailor, she would have smiled at his obliviousness but she couldn’t, instead she found her recent anger and exasperation dissipated only to be replaced by a new found layer of shame.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t- I’m sorry I was rude.” She said sheepishly turning to Ardy who nodded his head unaffected, “Elizabeth Hartley.”

“Ardy Smith at your service m’lady,” he saluted her vaguely. Elizabeth rolled her eyes, but she could not keep her smile hidden.

“Ardy here helps me with the tours and don’t fail to wreck my catamaran whenever he feels like it,” Nolan said sneering at Ardy, who was now switching glances from Nolan to Elizabeth with an arched brow as if he had discovered something golden in the two. Elizabeth did not know why but she felt her cheeks flush again.

“It’s all for a good cause y’know,” he said rather seriously, “I have to go stir some trouble now.” He slipped away winking at Elizabeth and tipping a salute at Nolan.

“Spillin’ moonshine and girls on the deck says otherwise Ardy,” Nolan shouted after.

“Only you would know that Woods!” Ardy waved a hand in the air and kept walking away.

“Sorry about him, Ardy can be a nasty dog at times,” Nolan began to walk with Elizabeth towards the edge of the dock.

“Uh huh,” she laughed.

“Me and Viv took in Ardy along with us when his folks separated and left him here in Chelseaville. We were in our late teens and Vivian and I just lost ours, so I guess misery loves company?” He shrugged.

“That’s noble of you, to take him in.” She said smiling affirmatively. “He’s family too?”

“He’s family, yes,” Nolan said, and Elizabeth contemplated in wonder how family in Chelseaville was always more than just blood members. “He may be the biggest jerk in town, but when in need there ain’t no back up in life like that man.”

“I can see where he’d get that from,” Elizabeth stared at the ground trying to hide her face in front of him at the remnants of last night “thank you for taking me away out of there last night, before I could have said or done anything crazier.”

“You sure did a number on Jasper,” he chuckled.

“I wish I could see the humour, but all I feel is dread and- and Harrison doesn’t want the letter anymore. I’ve don’t nothing more than make a fool out of myself here.” Elizabeth said and sat down as they reached the edge of the dock, her feet dangling above the water.

“Alright come on,” Nolan said after a few seconds of silence and held out his hand.

“What?” She looked up at him squinting her eyes at the afternoon heat.

“Can’t have you feeling this miserable, especially around me,” he said sternly to her surprise, “come on, up now.” He said motioning her to stand up and Elizabeth gave out her hand automatically.

“Where are we going? Oh, is this the part where you murder me?” She asked eyes narrowed, “Ardy did say no one really comes here post Founder’s Day.”

“After last night, maybe it’s time to drop the serial killer joke.” He said as a matter of fact.

“Fair enough,” Elizabeth murmured, “but where are we going?”

He stopped next to the catamaran which was bobbing next to the dock.

“Would you care for a ride Miss Hartley?” He asked turning to her and Elizabeth caught his steel blue eyes, still, but alive. Patient eyes once she had missed before. There was a change of air in him and she did not know if last night was responsible for it.

*****

It was not until Elizabeth climbed into the Catamaran did she realise the grandeur of this tiny boat, that was not really on the inside.

“What led you to this beauty?” Elizabeth asked drawing her eyes along the catamaran.

“Sailing competition in Athens five years ago. I went for the thrill and this, I did not see comin,” he smiled wistfully as if in reverie.

“Wow this is quite the splendour,” she laughed amazed emerging herself in the sleek interior and the lounge with the plush cushions.

“And that she is,” he smirked patting the metal body of the catamaran affectionately, as he ducked under the tent roof and walked down into the cabin, which was a deep hollow stair way that dwelled into the middle of the catamaran. He turned halfway down the stairs and looked up at Elizabeth.

“I have to give you the honourable tour, so come on,” he smirked.

Elizabeth shook her head and traipsed after him.

When she reached the cabin ground she smiled in amazement. The cabin stretched out to a thin hallway and poured out into a spacious convertible living room with an L-shaped couch and a wooden coffee table. The windows with curtains parted revealed the emerald green waters of the lake. She took in the space and made out how neat everything was. From the dish racks, cup holders to the bedspreads and the couch pillows- everything was in order and place.

“Do you even live here?” She asked unaware.

He laughed halfheartedly.

“Yes, I do, it’s a bit crampy but the lake and the breeze can be therapeutic if you give them a chance.” He shrugged.

Elizabeth turned her attention back to the cabin in awe, impressed and concerned how this place did not look or smell like someone was living here. It smelled of polished wood and lacquer.

“Well don’t you take good care of her,” Elizabeth said laughing in amazement, simultaneously wincing at the thought of wily Ardy Smith ruining the place with booze and oily bodied girls.

“All I ever do is come here to crash in, so I’m not here around much to make a major mess,” he said leaning against the wall of the cabin entrance.

“What do you do, running around town so much?” Elizabeth asked crossing her arms in stark realisation at how she did not know much about Nolan’s own life in town.

“Well, grace the town with my presence of course,” he said in mock seriousness. “come on you’ll love the deck.” He said and dramatically gestured Elizabeth to walk out first. She shook her head at his silly covertness and headed up the stairs as fast as she could.

Elizabeth followed him up to the white deck barricaded with steel beams. And as she stood over beholding the view before her, she gripped the beams tightly as she edged towards the corner. It wasn’t the height that made her grip the beams, but the urge to leap off into the green waters that she had to hold back.

Back in the cabin hut Nolan had already started the ignition and smoothly waded the catamaran away from the dock. The low whirr of the motor and the water splashing against the sides were the only noises that Elizabeth heard, and she soon felt her shoulders relaxing into an ease.

This was not new, the escape was always exciting and comforting, but the moment she reached her destination, and everything slowed down Elizabeth was back to feeling like she had run away from a crime she never atoned to. She knew she did not want to really run away from her life, but she could not help it- it was like a drug. All those times she had felt cornered and trapped the only thing she searched was for a way out. It was usually her mother, then the disrespectful job offers, then eventually the city but then why did she feel so restless even after she had escaped from all that so? She had to feel relieved, and not just temporarily, but it never happened.

As her eyes focused into the lake’s horizon that blended into a thick forest, she began to think of her mother. Her face. The pain in it every time she had decided to whoosh herself into another realm. Maya’s- the unfair weight she had to put up with herself, and then her father. Elizabeth felt her stomach clench- what would he really think? No matter what Elizabeth wanted the one thing she could not ignore was how hurt her father would have been to see herself and her mother set apart from each other like solitary islands.

Elizabeth was too caught up in her that she did not realise the catamaran rumble to a stop at the middle of the lake and Nolan head towards her.

“How do you feel now?” He asked standing next to her against the steel fence.

“Oh, uh hey,” Elizabeth mumbled as she suddenly sensed her eyes wet and she quickly dabbed at them, praying he had not discerned them. “Not too great,” she laughed softly to guise her misery.

The evening was slowly settling into a dusk though the sun was still out.

“What is it?” He asked even though it had sounded more of sentence rather than a question to her.

“Nothing really,” she lied and wiped her eyes.

He didn’t believe her of course with her questionable skills of covering up her true feelings, but he didn’t want her to feel helpless either so her nodded his head and turned towards the horizon, where her eyes pointed at, still and crystal.

“It’s funny,” she began abruptly as silenced guarded around her, “how I used to think as a kid how my family would be the perfect one in all of Manhattan, the only family that would never bear witness to separation or death” she laughed sadly, “ironically it fell upon me at once, before I could even grasp the gravity of it all.”

Nolan saw that her eyes were not tear pooled anymore, instead it reflected the after pink glow of the dusk drowning in the horizon. She was smiling, as she always did, but he could not overlook the remorse in her eyes.

Elizabeth felt his gaze on the side of her face.

“You’re looking at me like I’m an anomaly.” She stated, not taking her eyes off the waters.

Nolan did not say anything, but a faint smile curled up his face.

“For a girl who thought she’d have the perfect family, how can I disagree.” He said and Elizabeth turned to him aghast.

“I’m trying to have an honest to good heart to heart here,” Elizabeth said strained looking mortified at Nolan.

“Alright Let us do that then,” he said and shrugged, “let me ask you this: is not having had a perfect family what’s really making those eyes tear up?” He looked up, his voice sounded serious and calming at the same time.

Elizabeth opened her mouth ready to retaliate, but nothing followed out.

“I know nothin’ enough about you Elizabeth, but I can see you’re running away from something you don’t want to face.”

Her chest tightened and her voice caught up in her throat. Nolan did not take his eyes off, but he continued:

“This town maybe a haven for runaways, so everyone who arrives here is trying to run away from something.” He said with certainty and even though Elizabeth doubted, her feet froze in place. He leaned his back against the railing, and turned to her, his eyes softening, “What’s keepin’ you busy on your feet?”

She did not know what came over her when she realised she was speechless. For reasons she could not concur yet, hearing Nolan say all that made her chill to the bone, she felt the breeze around being sucked into her skin as if she was standing naked on the dock.

“What makes you think I’m running away?” She asked defensively, but Nolan did not stir. He was still looking at her calmly with his steel blues.

“Okay, let’s see- you’re a woman in her twenties who travelled miles here to deliver a letter. I dunno about you but not a lot of women would do that on a Saturday night, unless they’re desperate to get away from something.”

It was an odd moment for her, but she could not help feeling touched at the fact that he had remembered the details of her first day in town. She shook the thought away.

“Did you really bring us here to interrogate me?” She asked looking away.

“What is it Elizabeth?” He asked ignoring her question.

“If you’re thinking I’m running away from murder you’re wrong,” she said petulantly, “but so what if I’m running away from life itself? You’re not the first to diagnose me so don’t feel so heroic.” She felt her chest contract, but it was easier when she did not have to look.

“All that running must wear you over time,” he said unwavering, but a frown formed on his brows.

She thought she was waiting for the usual pitiful look, but instead she saw weary eyes in him as if he reverberated her, which made her look away as a surge of warmth rushed through her.

“Yes, it does.” She said fast. The breeze cooled down from its warmer traces through every passing minute. Her eyes lifted distracted towards a flock of wood storks that flew in a triangle formation over the purple waters as if they were heading into a ball of fire, where the sun was setting.

“Then stop running,” Nolan said flatly, but a trace of affection presided in his voice.

“You make it sound so easy,” she smiled, but it slowly faded away as a minuscule silence settled over her, “but it’s not. when all you ever do is run away, crashing, and toppling things on your way, there is no real…peace, until you go back and fix them.” Her voice quavered, but she bit her lip hard to stop. “Feel too deep and bruise yourself, feel nothing and bruise everyone else. There’s no in between.”

“You got to feel somethin’, where’s the spark in living otherwise?” He said looking down at the waters, neutrally. For that second she looked at him, his eyes dark and heavy, she knew she wasn’t the only one pouring out and the fact that he wouldn’t say nothing but vague sentences, stirred an urge in her to listen to him instead of her. “Would you rather run forever creating more damage or go back and fix the ones you can?”

“Some things are too broken to be fixed, I’m sure you’re aware of that.”

“Harrison? I know he still hasn’t seen that letter yet.” He said lighting up instantly.

“He doesn’t want the letter. It’s not happening.” She said with pursed lips.

Nolan pushed himself off the steel beams and stood back which Elizabeth’s eyes followed.

“Whoa this is not the Elizabeth Hartley who just trashed Jasper the golden boy in front of the whole town,” he said in mock appal.

“That me was intoxicated and desperate,” she shuddered at the thought.

“You know what they say here? A bit of moonshine always brings out the best in you,” he shrugged helplessly which made Elizabeth tip her head back and crack into a laughter knowing he just made that up. Nolan witnessed her face crease into smile lines as she brightened up, like sunshine pouring from them. He nodded his head absent minded and headed towards the sails on the deck.

“And hey, if going back to fix the past is hard, start here.” He said not taking his eyes off hers, “after all you did come here with gumption, I’d hate see you leave without it.”

Elizabeth turned away from the view at the sudden change of his tone and caught his eyes on her, unflinching. There was something about the way he said that which made his usual unfazed demeanour falter, break down. She couldn’t tell if it was the romantic setting-- two people in the most tranquil place in the world--that made the intensity of his gaze send a shiver through the back of her neck, and for a second there Elizabeth thought she was zoning into a fantasy, but no, he was still there, looking right at her as if he was searching for the right words to say something else. She nodded her head in agreement as no words trailed after her and the moment she nodded her head, the trance broke and he smiled half-heartedly, snapping his focus back to the sails, leaving Elizabeth confused and hopeful all at once.

“Oh, right I almost forgot,” Nolan turned back, digging his hands into his right pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. He held it out to her.

“This was lying in the truck and I’m guessin’ it slipped out of your jacket.” Elizabeth narrowed her eyes at the paper, and instantly realised the familiar crumpled edges of the yellow paper that she did not leave without when she left anywhere. Her bucket list. She flushed violently and quickly grabbed the paper.

Nolan watched her push the paper into her jean pocket hastily, away from his eyes.

“I must warn you though- roller derby across the Grand Canyon would make you look like a lunatic fugitive on the run,” he frowned thoughtfully, “and Jesus, Twilight? Almost made me wonder if I’d carried a tween back home.”

“How could you read that? It was personal!”

Nolan shrugged casually.

“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t have read a mysterious token left behind by a drunk mess.” He grinned.

“Do you have to make me sound so trashy?” She asked and he fell into thought, “oh never mind and Twilight wasn’t for tweens .” She said curtly.

He hid a smile, and turned to head back to the cabin, when he stopped short.

“Oh, and I think you can cut off ‘watch a full sunset by a lake with the handsome stranger’.” He raised his eyes in obvious and left.

She shook her head and turned back to the purple skied horizon as the catamaran pulled away seamlessly, realising she could finally cut one task off her list. Her fingers drew towards her jean pocket and pulled out the paper folded in half and opened it.

1. Sleeping under the stars

2. Roller derby across the Grand Canyon

3. Cruise down the Nile on a Sunday

4. Lay down a lavender field like in the Twilight

5. Watch a full sunset by a lake

6. Lanterns by lake Evershore with the handsome stranger.

7. Chaotic drunk night (with said handsome stranger)

Elizabeth felt her face crack open into a smile she could not avoid at the new additions to her bucket list.

****

Elizabeth walked back into Betsy’s with a newfangled air of easiness and calm, which alarmed Ruby. Within that short distance from the entrance to the counter she also noticed how Elizabeth did not seem to be fazed by the heads looking up at her.

“Don’t you look happy as sunshine,” Ruby said in wonder as Elizabeth sat in front of her.

“Ruby,” Elizabeth beamed and leaned closer, “do you need an extra pair of hands here?”

“Alright what’re ya up to now?” She asked plainly.

Elizabeth braced herself and let out a deep breath.

“I’m not done here yet; I want to finish what I started or intended.” Elizabeth paused for effect, but Ruby had her eyes raised waiting for more. “I’m also running low, so low I think this is when people say they’re ‘broke’. I need the money.” She said sheepishly

“well we’ve always got room for honest work and an extra pair of hands.” Ruby said welcomingly.

Elizabeth sighed in relief.

“Thank you Ruby,”

“But you gotta do the honest work hon,” Ruby reminded sternly.

“Oh believe me you’ll be impressed by my waitressing skills,” Elizabeth assured and hopped off her bar stool, bidding Ruby a goodbye, ready to restart her quest and this time she promised herself she wasn’t going to screw it up and she held onto it dearly.

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