12 Golem Trouble

Dreth pulled at the sword, trying to free it from the body of the dead King. It moved slowly, as if resisting his efforts. Keenly aware of an urgent need to not be there, he pulled harder, finally succeeding in wrenching the blade out of the corpse with a wet sucking sound.

The weapon dripped with green Orc blood, but under that it seemed to throb with dark power. A low moan emanated from it. "Bllllooood," it said, black energy crackling up its length. "Feeeed meee."

Dreth had no time to wonder at this sudden awakening. Quickly grabbing the box, he turned around to face the others. The king's sword was still sticking out of his body, front and back, but he didn't have time to remove it just now.

"I don't wish to rush you, but half an army of ogres are after that thing," said Cuthbert, indicating the rune-box.

"Let's get out of here then," said Dreth. He started heading towards the way they had come in, only to stop as a giant figure stepped into the cavern.

Red eyes scanned the crowd, finally settling on him.

The enormous stone Golem stepped forward, batting away an Orc who was too slow or foolish to get out of its path. "Dreth, Guardian of the Undead Way. The Management has sent me. You are charged with deserting your post."

"Oh futtocks," said Percy. "That's a Guardian Golem. They're practically indestructible! We're screwed."

The Golem stepped forward, massive arms reaching out for them.

Dreth stepped away and raised his sword, which seemed to be trying to pull him forward. This monster was not something to be trifled with though. He risked a quick look around. Behind him came the sound of battle, as ogres and Orcs fought for dominance. Another exit to one side was crowded with Orcs trying to get away, and the only other way out was behind the Golem.

"This is going to be tricky," he said. "Look," he said, stepping backwards and pulling the dead king's sword out of his body at the same time, "let's see if we can't come to some sort of arrangement hey? I mean, surely we're all on the same side, right?"

"Not really," replied the Golem, advancing. "Don't get me wrong, it's nothing personal, but I have my orders. You must be made an example of." It lunged forward.

Dreth skipped back and brought his sword up to block the blow. The blade met the fist with a loud clang.

"Aaarrrgg!" said the weapon, "that hurt!"

The Golem smiled a stony grin. "Magic swords don't scare me little man. Now, stand still and take your punishment like a guardian."

"Not bloody likely!" said Dreth, and dodged to one side to avoid another swing. "Wizard, cast some sort of spell! Stop him!"

Redthorne, who had retreated to a safer distance, scratched his head. "Tough one, these Golem types are usually fairly proof against magic. Still, give me a minute and I'll see what I have." He made a gesture and a large book appeared in his hand, which he started leafing through.

"I don't have a minute you useless... urg!" Dreth tumbled across the floor as the huge fist managed to finally connect. The runebox went flying.

"E... F... G... Gas... Giants... Gnomes... no, not that, Gold... mmm, thought I'd lost that spell." Redthorne thumbed through his book muttering to himself.

Dreth picked himself up, then quickly dived to one side to avoid being squashed by the Golem's foot. "Read faster blast you!" he shouted, performing a series of really quite amazing maneuvers, trying to stay out of the creatures' reach.

Sprat, meanwhile, had picked up the runebox. The little zombie looked at the marauding animation, and then at the seething mass of Orcs and ogres, still fighting in the main entrance. He waddled up to the mage, who was mumbling under his breath, and tapped him on the leg.

Redthorne looked down, placing a finger on the page so he wouldn't lose his place. "What?" he asked.

The small zombie pointed at the box and said something to wizard.

Dreth jumped onto the dead king's throne, and then did a somersault over the back of it. Percy and Cuthbert applauded and shouted encouragement.

"I hope you're not distracting Mr. Wizard, you short assemblage of spare parts!" he shouted, ducking. The Golem's fist smashed into the wall next to him, dislodging rock and leaving a large crater.

Dreth just about managed to get a glimpse of Redthorne casting some sort of quick spell before he was hit again. He was sent flying through the air to land at the feet of Cuthbert and Percy, who were standing out of the way and watching the action.

"Good one boss!" said Percy.

"Nearly had him there!" said Cuthbert, giving a thumbs up sign.

"Don't put yourselves out or anything," said Dreth, staggering to his feet. "I think I've broken a rib." He looked around just in time to see the Golem throw the throne at him.

"Let's get out of here!" shouted Percy, as the chair smashed into the cavern floor beside them, exploding in a mass of stone shrapnel.

"What's Sprat up to?" asked Cuthbert, lurching away at speed as the giant creature approached.

Dreth spared a quick glance at the small undead as he jogged in a wide circle around the cave. The zombie had the runebox in his hand and was walking with a determined gait up to the Golem. As he watched, the little zombie took aim and threw the box at the Stone Guardian. It hit and stuck to its leg. The Golem took no notice, intent on pursuing its prey.

Dreth looked wildly from side to side. The ogres were pushing forward, having nearly overwhelmed the Orcs, and the other entrance was still crowded with refugees from the fight. He skipped left, but the Golem darted forward, cutting him off and trapping him in a corner.

"Look, you don't have to do this, really," said Dreth. "Throw off the shackles of oppression brother! Rise up and fight the overlords!" He raised his fist in a salute, in a desperate attempt at false camaraderie.

"But I like my job," said the Golem, closing in. "It is annoying being summoned from the Sleep sometimes, but the hours are good, and you get to see places and meet interesting people. If only briefly."

"I don't suppose you would take a bribe?" Dreth asked, scraping the bottom of the 'options' barrel. His back was now against the wall, in several senses.

The guardian shook its head as he loomed closer, towering above the half-dead. He raised a fist. "Time to be very, very sorry," it said.

Dreth closed his eyes. There was a slight pause followed by an enormous crash, then silence. His head remained unflattened. He opened his eyes again.

Where the Golem had been standing was a large pile of ceiling.

"Couldn't find Golem," shouted Redthorne from the other side of the cavern, "this was the best I could come up with."

Dreth eyed the pile of rock. It moved slightly.

"I wouldn't hang about it I was you," said Cuthbert. "That won't hold it for long." Even as he spoke an arm broke through the rubble, dislodging several large boulders.

Dreth skipped past and retrieved his black sword from the floor where he'd dropped it. Just as he did so the first of the ogres, a huge dirty white creature wielding a studded club and wearing a battered helmet, broke through the Orc lines and stepped into the cavern. Several, more normal sized creatures, followed closely behind.

The giant ogre saw Dreth and squinted at him. "Fee fi fo fum," it said in a deep bass voice. "I smell the blood of a... zombie."

Several of the following ogres shook their heads.

"Nearly had it that time sir!" said one. The giant swung his club idly and knocked the speaker flying.

"Be he 'live, or be he dead," he continued, walking slowly towards Dreth and company. "I'll grind his bones to make my... porridge."

The other ogres groaned.

Dreth started to reverse, but the sound of sliding rock made him stop and turn. Behind him the Golem rose from the rubble like a vengeful mountain. Red eyes glared at him, piercing the dust like demonic searchlights.

"Oh poop," said Percy.

"Look!" shouted Dreth, pointing at the Golem. "It has your box! Get it quick!" He dived out of the way as the big ogre roared with anger and charged, club held high. The rest of his force raced after him.

Dreth winced as the two sides met with a massive crash. "Let's not wait and see how this turns out," he said.

They ran around the edge of the cave, ducking once as an ogre flew out of the melee over their heads, to smash into the floor beyond and lay still.

"Do you think they will stop it?" asked Redthorne.

Percy shook his head. "They will delay him, but ogres don't have anything strong enough to beat a Guardian Golem," he said. "You can't kill them unless you find their heart, or break the body into little pieces, from what I hear."

The group ran past piles of Orc and ogre bodies, back down the passage they had been before. The barricades had been smashed, and corpses of both sides littered the way.

"Look at all this food!" wailed Cuthbert. "What a waste!"

"You can stop and have a snack if you want," said Dreth, jumping over a headless corpse, "but I'm not waiting for you."

They raced down the now deserted tunnel towards the Ogre side, arriving there with only one slight delay, when Percy tried to collect body parts for 'supplies', and climbed over the unmanned barricade at the end.

The ogre caves were mostly deserted. Only the young and a couple of old creatures had been left behind. Those looked suspiciously at the group as they passed, but none made a move to intercept them.

"What are we looking for?" said Percy as they wandered around the main cavern.

"I don't know. Some kind of entrance, probably one not oft used," replied Dreth.

"How about that?" asked Redthorne, pointing to a dark corner.

They followed his finger. Set well back into a recess was a metal door. Upon closer inspection it looked unused; rust had built up over the surface. There didn't appear to be any lock, just one large handle. Dreth took hold of it and pulled.

It took a bit of straining, but it eventually cracked open. "A little help here," he said.

Percy and Cuthbert ducked around him and grabbed the edge of the door. With the three heaving together the portal finally, reluctantly, opened. A waft of cold air came from beyond.

"Ahh, smell that dungeon breeze," said Cuthbert.

"I will, when I get a new nose," grumbled Percy.

"Come on, I'd rather not wait for the ogres or that blasted Golem to show up again," said Dreth. He pushed the two zombies forward, into the dark behind the door.

"More tunnels!" shouted back Cuthbert.

Dreth, Redthorne and Sprat entered, dragging the door shut behind them and blocking out the light.

"Allow me," said Redthorne, and cast several magic-torch spells.

The tunnels, once illuminated, turned out to be roughly hewn from bare dark red rock. The area just beyond the door was fairly wide, but it headed down and quickly narrowed.

"Lead on then," said Dreth to Cuthbert.

The zombies started down the tunnel, but Redthorne spoke to him. "I need a rest," he said. "I still have to sleep, even if you don't, and casting spells drains you."

Dreth nodded. "Fair enough, we'll rest as soon as we get a little way away from here."

They walked on, stumbling down the uneven passage. Soon it split into two. Figuring one was as good as another, Dreth let Cuthbert decide which way. This meant he had to let Percy decide the next one of course. Soon they were hopelessly lost.

"Well, at least the Golem won't find it easy to track us," said Percy cheerfully.

"I need to stop," said Redthorne, after a little further. "I'm fit to drop."

Dreth signaled a halt, and the wizard unrolled his sleeping mat and fell onto it. He was snoring in minutes.

"Ahh, look at that. How sweet," said Percy. He moved forward slightly. "Do you think he would miss a hand?"

"Leave him alone," said Dreth, trying to find a comfortable place to sit.

"It's not fair. Cuthbert has his Halfling foot," Percy complained, pointing to Cuthbert's belt.

"Do you still have that thing?" asked Dreth.

"I'm aging it. Halfling meat is best aged, very tasty." Cuthbert licked where his lips would have been, had he had any.

"Daddy," said Sprat. "Have we seen a soul yet?"

"Not yet son," said Cuthbert, straightening out some of his sons' limbs.

"But I want to be warm, like the man in the funny dress," sniffled the young zombie.

"They're robes, not a dress," said Cuthbert. "Don't worry lad, Uncle Dreth will find us a way to make everyone warm again, won't you Uncle Dreth?"

"You may get lucky whilst I'm looking for my contract," replied Dreth. He narrowed his eyes in thought. "What did that oracle say about you? You have to redeem your sin? What sin is that then?"

Cuthbert looked up, and was quiet for a while. "It was a long time ago," he said.

Dreth waited, but nothing more was forthcoming. He shrugged to himself, and settled down to wait.