1 Sleep Wrecker

"Why the heck is he barking AGAIN?" Tara thinks to herself as she rolls over and taps her phone; it's 2AM. At this point Zeus has his nose under her armpit and she knows that any second now he will start barking again. He needs to go potty.

She sits up irritatedly as all 100lbs of him begins to bounce about in a way that only a dog as big and dumb as him can.

"You couldn't have done this 5 hours ago, jackass?" she mumbles under her breath. Her eyes are half open and it's still dark in the house. She gets to the back door and opens it, letting him out. He bounds out with more energy than any animal should ever have when it's this dark.

Tara sits down at the table for a moment while she waits for him to finish his business. He may be big and dumb, but he is her baby boy and she really does love him. She loves him even more when he goes to the bathroom when he is supposed to.

"Woof, woof" he bellows in his deep doberman bark.

"What the heck are you barking at NOWWWWW?!?"

She peeks her head out the door, ready to yell at him for harassing the chickens, when she sees something falling.

"It looks like a shooting star maybe, but it's so close," she thinks to herself.

Of course, in typical Zeus fashion, he is tearing toward it at top speed. The tiny 4 foot fence that she was assured by the salesman "would easily keep him in," was about as effective as a chain link fence in Jurassic Park.

"ZEUS! ZEUS! ZEUS COME!" she shouts as she jumps into her slippers. She knows her shouting is futile and throws open the fridge to grab the nearest lunch meat. As she runs out the stupid fence slows her down more than it did the damn dog.

"ZEUS, C'mere boy!! Snacks!" she calls as she runs out into the pasture he bolted toward. Thankfully he is within eyesight now, bouncing around some metal trash on the ground.

She slows to a power walk panting. "Please don't be another bunny, please...."