Chapter 6

It's been a few weeks after that event with the counselor and I've adjusted pretty well to my new classes.

Obviously, they were classes I had already taken before, with the exception of Biology.

I had also not taken a preparatory class last year for AP Biology so I had been struggling for the first weeks as I read through the Biology Textbook.

To be honest, I was not that great at Science.

As for the rest of the classes, I was swimming comfortably in them. Even for moments, reminding the teacher of terms they had forgotten the name of or when they asked us to answer a question.

It became a recurring joke that I was the Teacher Assistant. This came as a surprise to my upperclassmen friends that were in my classes since it seemed like I was very relaxed in the past regarding school.

During class, as we waited for the teacher to enter and start the lesson, I was asked out by some female students to help them out.

With a pure heart, I answered their simple questions while skillfully evading flirtations.

Seeing as I was a sophomore, they probably thought I was naive and they'd be able to get free homework from the class by playing around a little with my heart.

Same old, same old.

I heard stabbing giggles as I replied to their questions, "Sooo… Ivan, do you have a girlfriend?"

Feeling a glare stabbing into my back and with a twitching mouth, I carefully said, "Mm, I'm in a committed relationship…"

The eyes stabbing my back seemed to soften a little, but their familiarity was not lost. Who else could it be but the broccoli-loving monster?

That's right. We're in a good committed friendship where we pretend to be flirting because we're comfortable enough with each other to joke like that.

One of them got a little silent but then immediately rebounded with a smile, "Ohhh? Who's the lucky girl…?"

Her friend frowned a little at me and the other one awkwardly shifted her hands. "What do you mean by that? Literally just a few days ago before at the party, you two were…"

She tapped her friend's wrist back with a gentle smile, interrupting her from saying any more.

Ah, shit.

Did we have something?

I'm a little ashamed to say I don't recognize or remember her too much...

"No no, it's okay. Ivan, we were just having fun? Right?" She seemed to be holding back tears.

Damn.

"I'm sorry." I looked at her with a guilty expression.

Throbbing erupted in my heart, and I was reminded of all the asshole things I had done before.

Although I returned, there are still some things I can't correct.

So she was just flirting with me because she thought we had something, not because she wanted my homework.

I dug my nails into my hand, and gave her a gentle smile, "You deserve someone better, not a douchebag like me, okay?"

She seemed to be about to burst into tears, "I'm a jerk. You're way too good for someone like me, okay?" My words were gentle. "I'm very sorry."

She closed her eyes and gave me a smile. "Okay," she nodded. I could feel her empty heart.

What a dick head. I mentally punched myself.

I walked away as I felt her friend glare holes into my back.

I felt another pair of eyes digging into me— Alice's.

I walked over to my seat and sat down stiffly. "What's wrong?" She walked over and her glare had softened.

I glanced at her with hesitation. "Nothing."

She stared at me, expecting an answer.

After a few seconds of silence, I mulled over the answer I was going to give.

"I regret some things," I said pensively.

"Oh…"

She shifted awkwardly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She stiffly fixed her posture.

I laughed internally. She still doesn't know how to react when other people open up about their weaknesses to her.

I'll entertain her.

"Ah… well I guess I did some things in the past and I guess I just remember that I really fucked up and I thought I could change those mistakes but… I dunno, I was reminded that not everything can be fixed."

She looked down at her fingers and then softly at me. It looked like she didn't know what to say.

Her lips twitched slightly, as she attempted to make out words.

She looked uncomfortable, not from listening to me speak out, but from her not knowing how to comfort me.

"Don't worry about it. I've gotten over it," Her ears perked up hearing me speak again.

Her posture relaxed, as the non-existent burden of comforting me that she placed on herself disappeared.

"Ah, okay…"

She stood there, looking at me. Waiting to say something.

"You did something wrong but regretting it is the first step to correcting your mistakes…" She pondered over her next words.

"I think that you're a good person and changing yourself to make up for it proves it."

I stared at her.

She stared back.

"I can tell you're trying to change… and I don't know what you said to them but I think being able to accept your wrongs and apologizing for it makes you better than the person you think you are."

I let the words process in my mind for a while.

"Yeah…"

I did not expect that at all… "...thank you. I appreciate it a lot."

She smiled at me.

…

…

…

No way

No. Way.

For a while, I've noticed that he's changed his behavior and he acts a little older than before.

I thought it was because of summer and he'd done a lot of things to mature.

But regretting his actions? Already? When he said he regretted doing all of this only in his college days?

No way…

And he's also so smart and doing extremely well in his classes… I remember he was very smart and talented, but he's almost as good as me and I have my memories from the future…

What changed?

Ah stupid idiot. That's right. It's because I'm here…

I'm an external factor.

Wait so then…

No way, did he actually fall for me?

People say even love can make the worst men a little more honest.

Is he trying to change for me?

So he's reading his textbooks and doing everything to impress me.

I'm just kidding… I'm not that narcissistic.

I mentally fanned myself.

I don't know what to think of this. I thought the Ivan that became very mature due to everything he experienced was especially cool.

But this Ivan is essentially a different person if he's already regretting his actions…

My thoughts were darting around at high speed and an unfamiliar nervousness gripped me.

A question popped into my head.

How will he change?

My thoughts were interrupted by his words.

"Nothing." He was quiet for a moment, "Just… regret some things."

"Oh." I looked at him stupidly for a few seconds. "...you wanna talk about it…?"

He looked at me gently, but I could see his amusement when regarding me.

"Ah… well I guess I did some things in the past and I guess I just remember that I really fucked up and I thought I could change those mistakes but… I dunno, I was reminded that not everything can be fixed."

He looked down, his eyes filled with shame. His cool appearance was nowhere to be seen, only a man experiencing a setback.

Oh, but I guess he's kind of cute like that… when he's regretting everything…

I stood silent for a long time, thinking about what to say.

I was never really experienced at this either… but it's not like I can't comfort someone.

The thing is… it's hard to comfort someone when you know exactly what they did but they don't know that you know.

So you have to find some ways to skirt around your knowledge of the situation and give a message without being too much.

Acting like I know what he regrets would surely make him question a few things…

As I stood in silence, I saw the twinkles of amusement in his eyes past the layers of self-loathing.

Bastard…

He's probably laughing at me for being clueless, huh?!

If we were in the past, I would have told him I would cut his salary. Too bad I don't have that power over him now…

Hmm…

I haven't said that ever since I went back around a year ago…

Haha, I guess he just reminds me of him from the past— I mean, future.

With a message in mind, I gave him a heartfelt response.

I said a few things that I thought were okay. He seemed to appreciate my words a lot, even though they didn't seem to help him that much.

It's not that what I said was bad, but it's that he seems to have already come to terms with what he's done.

It's like he himself took out the tumor while I'm putting a bandaid over the opening.

Cool.

I didn't know he was already cool like that in high school.

I'm only 17 and still underage like him… but with my mental age, I feel a little illegal.

I feel a little ashamed of myself and guilty for being like this… maybe I should stop being like this and wait for us to be over our 20s...

But it's just fun to finally enjoy life and not be so pressured about other things…

Hehe… I wonder how'd it be if he also came back with me.

I bet he'd be surprised at just how sweet I am…

…