23 Between the angel and the demon: When the night comes

....

"The night comes, but the dead don't rest, neither do I....

You want to kill me, break me, and cut me down, but if I cry, you'll bleed ...

....

"I don't see the point saying I love you anymore, when all you do is drift away the more I say it"...

It was a whisper, but it felt a whole lot worst than that, as I could hear the words banging into my ears, watching his eyes flicker something so unexplainable, as well as my heart, that kept on ceasing all the damn words from coming out

Something's wrong, so wrong and I can feel it, it was from my heart, but oh God it's was just so shitty....

"I .." I stumbled on my words, as the rest of the words got stuck on my eyes, that kept on staring in total confusion straight on his light, somehow magnetic ones...

I could feel my legs on the verge of falling, but oh God, he kept on making it worst by slowly coming closer to me...

But with every step he took, the more I stagger backwards, as my head kept on screaming just one word, one life saving word to me...

"RUN!" I could hear my inner self yelling out, as I cautiously took to my heels, but was immediately pulled back on the arm by him?,

I found myself being drawn back by him and the next thing I knew was my confused head gently resting uncomfortably at the wall, now only few inches away from him...

It would be a shitty lie, if I did not say that he face was much more clearer now and the mole on the lower side of his lips was a whole lot closer too,

He was literally standing right in front of me, staring into my soul, but what find myself doing...

Nothing!, but to keep on biting the lower part of my lips fearfully...

Damn, this was the first time I was ever going to be so fearful in front of anyone and he was actually literally the one that was causing all the shitty useless sensations to me, Damnit!.

I should have knew all along, stay too close to a man and you'll begin to feel all this shitty garbage...

My mind ranked, as I slowly pressed my lips together, before slowly fixing my eyes, at his already super close bright ones...

"You want revenge right?" He questioned, without jolting back, as I could feel his eyes searching for a reaction on my blank face, that slowly made my eyebrows till up...

"What do you mean?" I mumbled harshly, still so uncomfortable with his damn closeness, Like seriously just punch him and run already, A thought popped into my head, as I stared rudely into his light eyes...

"I want a answer, Yes or No" He blurted, as his eyes flashes a mixture of seriousness....

"You want revenge right?" He repeated, as I pressed my lips angrily once again...

"Why all the shitty questions" I spat out, staring straight into his eyes, but I could see he totally ignored my anger ...

"Yes or no" He repeated sharply, as my eyebrows slowly arched up angrily once again, before letting out a scoff...

"You know that's the only reason am still living"....

"Really?" He mumbled in a tone I just couldn't understand, as my mind kept on racking for answers....

What the fuck exactly is happening here, I thought for a brief second with so much anger boiling in my blood...

"You think hurting yourself will make you have your revenge, huh?" He mumbled, staring straight into my pissed off eyes, as his screamed only one word, but still I keep on trying to ignore it and everything...

Call it cruelty, call it whatever or anything speakable, all that I felt deep down was one word...

"Fear!" and fear alone, I don't want to end up in the same lovesick shoes like my mother, I just can't....

"You have to stay away from me" I mumbled, looking at my black boots uncomfortably, but I guess he didn't stop there, as he slowly lifted my chin up with his finger, before staring back at my depressing eyes....

"What if I can't" He mumbled, staring longingly at me, as a little smile slowly found it way round his lips, before hesitantly lowering down to my level, and all I could feel was my eyes slowly closing shut confusedly....

For the first time I guess I was going to let myself go and this was it, but the most confusing part, was that I wasn't even in control of my own damn emotions now....

Guess I've felt this way all along, just couldn't be sincere to myself, Why God...

....

He slowly lowered himself down to my level, as my eyes tensely close shut, before slowly feeling his soft lips right on mine, as my shaking hands slowly made it's way up to his wavy blonde hair....

I guess this was it, A kiss from the one person I had once upon hated some time ago, To talk of my first kiss, this was just so weird...

I had absolutely never bargain for this, never did bargain to fall in love?, But I guess I can't do anything about it now, They were all damn right, Your heart does has a mind of it own, and I guess am starting to understand it now.....

I could feel his hand slowly creeping up to my little waist before pulling me a whole lot closer, as he held me tighter, deepening the kiss, exploring all the corners of my lips, before slowly lowering down...

Damn, I just had my first kiss now, but I ain't ready for this, not now, I thought as he slowly plant little kisses down my collarbone and neck...

But still even in the midst of all this shitty madness, I just couldn't help but to bite my lips tightly, as he slowly lowered down...

What are you doing, you fool, I could hear my inner self screaming myself back to life, as I slowly awoken back, before quickly pushing him away from me uncertainly, as I could see my lipstick smudged around his lips...

Oh God, no...

I stared straight into his light confused, but happy eyes, as my mind immediately went blank....

"I .." I stumbled on my words, as I could feel my shaking legs wanting to fail me, but I needed to remain cool in front of him....

Oh Damn, what am I, Kidding?, I whispered to myself, before immediately vanishing away, as fast as my legs could run.....

I guess I ain't so strong after all, why love, why make me damn weak, I thought to myself, before finally finding myself out of that fucking emotion twisting warehouse, as I let out a deep breath, before my eyes slowly drifted up to the already illuminating, but beautiful dark cloudy evening sky..

For the first time in my life, the sky did looked dark, but beautiful, or was it the fact that I just did and went against everything I stood for...

I mumbled confusedly to myself, letting out a deep breath, as I uncertainly took a step forward, before quickly sensing something...

The perfume and air was clearly different now and I knew definitely, that I wasn't shitty alone anymore....

"I saw everything" A deep voice called out, as I stood still, trying to regain my sanity before sharply turning back...