Goodbye, Andrea

"Hmmm... hello.." I greeted Andrea after I got over the shock by his presence.

"I thought you only took a nap and would wake up for dinner, but you slept so soundly and didn't wake up until morning. I was worried," he said again. He stretched out his arms and hugged me, landing his soft kiss on my lips. "You never had jetlag before. Why makes you sleep that long?"

I shook my head slowly. "This is not jet lag, I think. I've been sleep deprived for a while. It's been a long time since I've slept well." I replied.

He paused for a while, then nodded in understanding. He held my hand and took me to the terrace for breakfast. Breakfast was delivered to the suite, and we enjoyed it while looking at the sea and the beautiful waves that swept the white sandy beach.

"Why did you become so thin?" Andrea asked me during breakfast. "Eat some more."

I shook my head, "No, this is too much."

Andrea took me for a walk on the beach after breakfast. His hand clasped mine as if he was scared that I would disappear if he did not hold my hand properly.

"Too bad, yesterday, you went straight to sleep. I already prepared a bottle of prosecco for us," he said, as he spread a Balinese cloth over the sand and placed a paper bag filled with a bottle of wine and fruits.

I gasped when I saw him take the wine bottle out of the bag. "Hey, it's not even 12 yet ... Are we going to drink this early?"

"Our anniversary was yesterday," Andrea answered lightly. "This wine is long overdue."

He opened the bottle and drank a little, then handed it to me. I finally smiled and nodded and took a sip.

We took turns drinking from the bottle little by little without saying much. I felt that Andrea wanted to say so many things, but he held back and didn't utter what was on his mind.

"Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world five years ago." Finally, he spoke. "Meeting you was a chance, but staying with you was a choice ... and I am so glad you said yes."

I nodded, unable to speak.

"I've liked you since we met at the airport. You were very funny at that time. You even went so far as pretending that you need to be hospitalized..." He continued. "I also like your family, who are very kind and treat me as if we are equals. In fact ... we are far from equal. You're like heaven, and I am like the earth. I love how you are not spoiled, and you always accepted anything I can give to you. You were always happy and grateful for everything I did for you. I like that we never fight... And I'm devastated because you didn't want to meet me in the last year."

I tried to smile. "Honey... You once told me that I am not talented in writing, because I am too happy. I agree with you. Evidently, last year I felt so miserable because I have to part with you. We know now I have two best sellers. I am sad to know that you have a child from another woman. At the same time, I'm not the type of motherly woman who can give you children. I thought that as time passes, I will be able to accept the situation, but after one year, my heart doesn't heal. You have the right to be happy with a woman who can give you the family you want. Ronan also has the right to get a complete family."

Andrea did not respond to my words.

"We got married in Bali, it's only right that we also separate in Bali," I told him gently. "You already promised me that you will bring the divorce papers to Bali if I come to see you. Please give me the documents, don't forget to sign them.

I ...

I would give anything ...

Anything...

To wipe his tears away.

"I just want to be a good father, Wina. I want to be in Ronan's life and make up for the lost time with him. If you still don't want to move to London I can go home once a month. At least, please wait until he turns 18 and can come live with us. He is a good kid. If you liked me, you'd like him."

"I can't wait ten years, Honey. We have had a happy six years together, and now our time is up. You and Adeline must be fated. You dated since you were.. what, sixteen, right? You were together until you were 23. That was a long seven years. The only reason you were separated was her parents. Adeline is the only woman you had ever loved before we met, and she's still waiting for you... until now. " I held Andrea's hands and squeezed them gently. "Thank you for sharing your life with me for the past six years. It was wonderful ... You are wonderful ..."

I let go of his hand, "Now ... I want to return you to Adeline and Ronan. You deserve to have the family you love."

"I know you're stubborn, but this doesn't make sense, Win. Didn't I tell you that I can go home to Singapore every month? I also told you from the start, I will only take this job for two years. Only one year left. After that, I could build my own company or asked to be transferred back to Asia. Adeline also plans to return to Asia to continue her family business. I can make time for Ronan if the distance issue is resolved. This doesn't make sense, Honey."

Seeing me unflinching, Andrea became desperate.

"I can't just leave Ronan, you know that ..."

"Goodbye, Andrea."

I kissed his cheeks that were wet with tears and walked away. I had never seen Andrea cry, and the sight before me now was heartbreaking...

London had always been my no-go place since Andrea moved there last year. I didn't want to cross paths with either him, Adelina, or Ronan. However, I made an exception three days ago on my way home from New York. I deliberately took 24-hour transit in London because I knew Andrea must have left for Bali to attend the conference.

I arrived at night and found his apartment in Camden, precisely as he described it in his emails. The passkey was the same as what he told me. When I went inside, the place immediately felt familiar. The arrangement reminded me of our apartment in Singapore.

It was a simple and minimalist two-bedroom unit. There was only one framed photo on the bedside table. It was the picture of the two of us on our honeymoon in Bali from five years ago.

I sobbed there all night, and after my tears were dried, I finally fell asleep hugging the photo to my chest