17 17th

It took my a while to get to the bar where Roxy and I were supposed to meet and I kept thinking that I wanted to change my hair a little. So I made myself a blue strand when noone looked at me. I liked it and it really seamed that I could draw some attention with it. Hopefully Roxy will like it too.

When I arrived in the bar, she was already sitting at the counter and smiled at me as I greeted her. "I just ordered us some drinks!", Roxy told me. "Damn it, I haven't eaten anything for dinner yet. I'm so stupid!", I said and hid my face behind my hand out of shame. "That's no problem. We can eat here. I haven't eated yet neither. Also I like that blue hair strand there", she answered and I looked at her surprised. "Okay, yeah thanks", I agreed and we ordered some chilli con carne and  bread. It was good and we enjoyed our drinks after.

We drank some cocktails later and talked a lot. I told Roxy about the fashion show and she said she also modeled for two years. I asked her why she stopped and she replied that it was interesting but too exhausting for such a long time. Understanding I nodded and told her about Martin at the hotel. "So you have a boyfriend now?", she asked surprised. "I... Em... I don't think so. We just dated two times... And... No. He is not my boyfriend", I bubbled and she laughted at me. "You getting nervous!", she asumed but I refused. "When will you see him again?" Roxy asked.

She seamed more excited than I actually was. Wow. "Eh... Tom... Orr.. Ow?", I guessed. "Tomorrow! That's amazing! I'm so happy for you! Good luck with him", she wished me and I sipped at my drink. I thought I will really need luck because I was not the best at relationships or love or dating. I actually was pretty bad at it.

My past relationships were all pretty bad. I had my first crush on a boy when I was 14 in high school. He played guitar and had red orange hair, brown eyes and was 15. We dated some times but he didn't see me as more than a friend. The next boy was a real bad boy with blond hair, blue eyes, bad grades and he even was violet sometimes, fought with some boys in the hallway of the school. I didn't know why or how I had a crush on him.

When we met one time eating lunch together he was so unfriendly to me I forgot about him quickly. As I was 17 I got to know a guy named Jason, he was handsome, with brown hair, green blue eyes and really nice. We dated and were together for some months but when my mum died in a car accident and my dad vanished I got to my aunt and she didn't allow me to see him again because he was 19 and she said he was too old for me. It were only two years and it was so unfair. I hated her so much for that but when I was 18 and she threw me out I searched for Jason but he already had another girlfriend and I was so sad. I cried for weeks and thought I would never get over him.

But I did. I got to know other guys and fell in love again. The first time was with 20 in Romania. He was just a waiter in a restaurant but he had these fascinating eyes and that nice smile. His name was Jan and he had red hair and green eyes. We met a few times but then I found out he already had a girlfriend. Next was a men with blond and black hair in a disco in Italy when I was 21. He kept looking at me and bought me a drink. We danced for a while but then he just disappeared. After that I was annoyed and desided to take a break from love but it didn't come as planned.