Entry #2 (Freshmen)

My Father:

I always have problems with my father and it is because he is always drinking. It annoys me that he doesn't see that alcohol is something bad in life. He doesn't know that because of his alcohol addiction, he is putting the family in a bath of misery.

He lies and he steals. He has gone so far from being a father to begging his daughter for money to buy alcohol. He goes to the hospital after having a seizure and every time he comes out, my mom who is the only with a job in the house has to pay his bills. It's been two years and we are still paying his bills not just from two years ago, but even for now.

He isn't thankful about it at all. What hurts the most is when I asked him, "Who do you love more? Your alcohol or your family?" And his reply was, "I love my family, but I can't live without alcohol."

Can anyone really live without their family??? Especially when they are in their 60's close to their 70's and is constantly going to the hospital and is unemployed??

When we talk to him about drinking he gets mad. There was a time where he even told us, "Why did you call the ambulance when I had a seizure? You should have left me to die!"

If we could we would. But, I will stop there. I don't want to curse my dad to die. Why? Because I want him to be there in the future, when I graduate high school, graduate university, get my dream job, buy him and my mom a new house, and get married. But because of alcohol he is aging too fast and maybe...even starting die.

If only I could tell him all of of this, but would he listen? Because whenever I see him, there is never a day when he isn't drunk unless my mother is home. Because of him too, my mom wants to die. He doesn't care though and he evens says it. Really? Does my father not understand that we want the best for him and that we love him? In the end though, he only leaves us with regrets. I can never see him in a good way.

But dad, I still love you(of course I love mom more) but your family and you always loved me the most, always spoiling me even though I turn it down(because of mom). In the future, if my diary becomes famous, I'll translate it, so even you can read it. I do love you, I just don't like that you drown yourself in alcohol.