2 Chapter 2

Inside the 2022 Toyota RAV4, Alex and Jason sat in almost complete silence. An occasional glance would be shared, but the silence wasn't broken in almost 30 minutes of driving. Alex almost looked as though he was going to start talking a number of times, but there was an unspoken tensity that neither wanted to acknowledge.

Jason was the first to cave, "Thank you for the ride."

Alex looked at him, offering a Marlboro red, "Not a problem."

"I am willing to pay you."

Alex chuckled, "I go this way anyway."

"But I know we're not the best of friends, so I still appreciate it." Jason said.

"Jason, I've told you before man, I don't hate you, I am only hard on you because someone has to be."

Jason lit his cigarette, staying silent. He glanced out the window, catching a glimpse of a rising sun over low mountains. It was beautiful, he almost felt the peace he felt in his dream. Thinking about his dream, he remembered the last part of it, and it created the same feeling of pain he felt when he was struck from behind. He moved uncomfortably.

"You okay?" Alex asked, noticing the uncomfortable movement.

Jason had to snap back to reality for a second, "Yeah. I had the weirdest dream, I got stabbed in it, and I swore I could feel it."

Alex looked at him, puzzled. "That's interesting. Was it the same dream as usual?"

Jason shook his head, dragging his cigarette. "No, this one was different."

"Different in a good way?" Alex asked.

"Other than getting stabbed, absolutely." Jason joked.

Alex chuckled. "Understandable."

Jason looked at Alex, flashing back to a time when both men wore a uniform together at a graduation ceremony. Dress blue uniform, standing tall and looking good. Jason almost showed regret in his face at the memory. Alex noticed this.

"What's on your mind, Jason?"

"Just reminiscing." Jason feigned a smile.

Alex looked at him, inquisitively.

"Kicking your ass in basic, specifically." Jason joked, slapping Alex on the shoulder.

Alex threw the pack of smokes at Jason's head, letting out a little laugh, "That's not at all what happened."

Jason laughed, catching the pack and putting it in the cupholder next to him.

"Really though, what's going on with you?" Alex regained his serious composure.

Jason paused, almost reluctant as he took the last long drag out of his cigarette. "I'm sorry, Alex." He looked out the window, a brief flash of a dying man in Jason's arms.

Alex looked at Jason, understanding and pity in his face. He didn't know what to say.

"I mean, for everything." Jason continued.

Alex put a hand on Jason's shoulder, reassuringly, staying silent. The rest of the ride was spent in silence. Neither of the two could think of a way to follow up. 45 minutes of silent car ride later, Alex turned into a small parking lot about five miles into a small town. The lot sat in front of a building reading Dr. Ramirez.

"Thanks again for the ride, Alex." Jason reached to shake his hand.

Alex took his hand, "No problem, I'll be back at 1700 to pick you up."

"I'm going to stay out late, I'm meeting with someone about a job, hopefully." Jason said.

Alex gave a look of approval, "That's good to hear."

"Thank you, wish me luck." Jason said.

Alex reached out to shake Jason's hand again, "Good luck, brother."

Jason shook his hand and closed the car door, waving goodbye as the RAV4 disappeared. Jason turned around, facing the door of the office. Therapists, Jason thought, he hated them. Jason started walking towards the door, hesitant to open it up. Inside the office, pictures of beautiful forests, mountains, and lakes decorated the place, making the place seem more inviting. The receptionist was a woman in her early forties by the look of her. She had her brown hair pulled really tight in a ponytail, she wore glasses with frames way too big for her face, and she looked like the type of woman who would spend her time in study groups for the fun of it.

"Good morning, Jason." She smiled.

She knew him by name already, and Jason wasn't fond of this.

"Good morning." He responded.

"Dr. Ramirez will be in shortly if you want to grab a seat. Can I get you a coffee?" She always smiled, it annoyed Jason.

"No, thank you." Jason said, taking a seat.

Jason looked at the stereotypical magazines decorating a single coffee table. Self help, decorating, arts and crafts, all that bullshit they feed you when you go seek help. It's really counterproductive for a guy like Jason. He studied the waiting room, reaching his hand back to feel where he was stabbed in his dream. Still no blood, but he felt the pain still. It was weird. The door swing open, and a familiar face appeared. Dr. Reina Ramirez walked in, greeting the receptionist before turning to Jason. She was a very young woman, she almost looked too young to have a Bachelor's degree. She had light brown hair she had cut just about level with her shoulders, wore glasses with a thin frame, stood about 5' 5" in her three inch heels, and dressed to impress. She was pretty, which was about the only benefit Jason saw from seeing her.

"Good morning, Jason!" She said, way too enthusiastically for Jason's liking.

"Good morning, Doctor." Jason replied, standing up to shake her hand.

She led the way to her office, one of three rooms in the back. It was a nicely decorated office, potted plants, good books, pictures of dream vacations, etc. Jason did enjoy the setup. Jason took a seat on the chair across from her desk.

"Can I get you a water or coffee?" She asked politely.

"No thank you, ma'am."

She took a seat and opened up a notebook, "Okay, so, tell me about your week!" She was excited.

"Not much to tell, Doctor. I'm still living with my sister, Lydia, still having the nightmares, and still struggling to get work." He didn't show much emotion when he spoke to her.

"What about last night? Was it the same dream?" She asked.

Jason though for a second about his dream last night, and the pain in his back grew a little stronger. "No, last night was different." He winced at the pain in his back.

She didn't seem to notice. "Different how?"

"This one didn't seem real, but it felt very real. I remember every feeling." He was being vague.

She looked interested, "Tell me about it."

"Eh, not much to tell. I was going through a forest, saw some pretty things, then got stabbed. Then I woke up." He thought nothing of it, yet the pain in his back wouldn't go away.

"I'd say that's a decided improvement over the usual." She said.

"Yeah, you and me both." He still shivered when he thought of his old nightmare.

"Speaking of improvement, have you and Alex been talking at all?" She asked.

"Not much, but today was a little better."

Dr. Ramirez took note of this with a smile, "Good. Sounds like you're making positive progress."

Jason didn't respond. He felt tired, as though he hadn't slept at all. He struggled to keep his eyes open.

"Have you made any progress in your road to forgiving yourself?" She asked, raising an eyebrow like she already knew the answer.

Jason looked at her, "What's to forgive?"

"You tell me." She didn't budge.

Jason couldn't help but grin, "So, you think I'm punishing myself?"

She looked at him with an understanding smile. "I think you hold yourself responsible for a lot of things that aren't yours to bear."

Jason blinked, almost annoyed by this response. "You don't know what happened, you don't know whether it's my responsibility or not."

"No, maybe I don't, but I can see what it's doing to you." She probed further.

Jason didn't say anything. He just let her study him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

Jason looked at the door in front of her desk. He could almost hear the explosions and feel the bullets fly by again. He didn't want to relive these experiences. More time passed by than he thought, because she checked her watch.

"Jason, I can't help you if you don't let me." She said.

"What do you want me to tell you?" Jason figured he'd play the game, so he called it.

"I just want to know how I can help you feel human again." She sounded so genuine sometimes, he thought.

Jason close his eyes, letting a few seconds pass by before he began speaking. He took in a deep breath, and opened his eyes.

All of a sudden, he wasn't in the office anymore, he was outside in the forest again. He wasn't sitting either, he lay there where he last remembered being, only none of those mysterious men in black were around. Someone else stood above him, though. Someone, or something. She was short, maybe 5' even at the most, but she was not human. Not entirely human anyway. She had human skin where he could see skin, but she appeared to be made up of roots and vegetation as well. Even considering her interesting make up, she was beautiful. He was immediately captivated by her.

She sang a beautiful tune, one that sounded like an angelic woman mixed in with the sound of nature he heard earlier. Her chanting alleviated the pressure on his chest and the pain in his back. He felt like he did before he joined the Army, like he could move a mountain. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to stand up. Her spell kept him laying down until he fell fast asleep where he lie.

Jason opened his eyes again to find himself slumped in the chair with Dr. Ramirez trying to wake him. He was so confused and shocked, he stood up quickly, almost in a panic.

"Jason, are you okay?" She asked. "You passed out."

Jason looked around the room, confused not only by what just happened, but also with why he felt young again. Well, he was young, relatively speaking, but he no longer felt the pain he was so used to feeling. He looked at Dr. Ramirez in a daze.

He spoke in barely audible slurs and mumbles, "I was there again."

"What?" She asked, confused.

Jason started toward the door, Dr. Ramirez watched, puzzled by what just happened. She seemed suspicious of his sudden ability to move without a limp. She made a few notes and picked up her phone, dialing a number and sitting back down. She didn't quite know what to make of this.