10 Chapter 10

It was a week, to the day, after Jason was kicked out of his sister's house. He couldn't stop thinking about it. Maybe that's what he would talk about, he thought as he sat in the waiting area of his therapists office. He showed up a little early because he wanted to see a friendly face. The receptionist was friendly enough, and he welcomed this fact after his crap day last week. Not one time in the passing week did he dream of the forest. No Fenris, no Daphis, no nothing. Just regret. Looking at his phone, he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the time. She would be here any minute now. He didn't care for opening up, but he figured he'd give it a try since he was so alone.

The receptionist had been watching Jason the whole time he sat there. She looked like she wanted to speak, but didn't quite know what to say. It wasn't ethical to ask how his day was, that was up to Dr. Ramirez.

The door swing open. "Hello Jason, you're early!" Dr. Ramirez seemed happy to see him, or excited. He just didn't know.

"Good morning, Doctor." Jason said, standing up to shake her hand.

"Our session doesn't start for thirty minutes, but I don't have anything going on if you wanted to get a little extra time in." She said.

Jason shrugged, "Whatever you want."

"Come on in, Jason." She motioned towards her office, "We still had some time when you left last time. This should make up for it."

Jason started walking, "That wasn't your fault, Doc. I was having a bit of a day."

She smiled, "It's alright, you can tell me all about it."

Jason walked into the office and took a seat, admiring the decoration yet again. He thought about buying some decoration for his cottage. It might liven it up there a bit. He hadn't been there all week though, even if he wanted to be.

"So, Jason, I got your message saying you aren't living with your sister anymore. What happened there? Did you get your own place?" She asked.

"I got kicked out by Alex." Jason said.

Dr. Ramirez looked at him, intrigued. "Why is that?"

Jason shook his head, "I made a mistake, he didn't take too kindly to it."

"Do you want to talk about it?' She asked.

"I have a group I'm going to about it. It's alright." Jason feigned a smile.

"Okay," She understood exactly the problem. "what about in other news? What else is going on in your life"

"I'm still talking to my sister, just over text right now, and I am sleeping less and less because of my nightmares." Jason started, "But other than that, I can't think of much to tell you."

Dr. Ramirez scribbled down a few notes, "Are they the same nightmare?"

Jason nodded his head.

"Okay, is there any kind of feeling you can pinpoint as a result or cause of these nightmares?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you feel anger, sadness, guilt?" She asked.

Jason thought back on it, "I don't really know, I just hate having the dream." He couldn't actually pinpoint any real feeling attached other than frustration at reliving his least favorite moment in time.

"Is the nightmare something that actually happened?"

Jason nodded his head again.

"Is it accurate to what really happened or is it different in some way?"

"Sometimes it's exactly the way it happened, other times, it changes." Jason said.

"Can you explain it to me?" Dr. Ramirez was as sympathetic as Jason would expect her to be, maybe a little more.

"Well, last night, for example, was a little different."

Dr. Ramirez sat up more comfortably, listening fully. "Go on."

Jason was there again, a snow covered village that seemed to be exploding from within in a shower of explosives and bullets. In front of his platoon, a line of friendly armored vehicles unloaded several American troops. He, himself, held an M4 as he crouched behind one of the armored vehicles, taking shelter from the onslaught of bullets. He felt calm, but his blood raced. This was the type of situation he was fine tuned for, his mind clear but his adrenaline flooding his system. It seemed to heighten his every sense. He smelled the carbon of every empty cartridge and fired round, heard every shot and shout, saw everything move, and felt every shockwave, shift in the air, and snowflake that hit him. On top of his heightened senses came an overwhelming intuitive voice in his head. He knew almost exactly where to aim and where to fire purely by instinct.

His team, a small section of Airborne Rangers, stood idly by, waiting on Jason's command. Jason, a Sergeant in the US Army, waited. He knew where to put his team and where to attack to size the objective.

Giving the order, he and his team of ten moved forward in an improvised wedge formation. Jason himself stood in the center with one man directly ahead of him, two diagonally positioned behind, two to Jason's left and right, and the same behind Jason. They moved toward a burning T-90 tank, standing close enough for cover, but not so close that they got burned. There, Jason had the wedge switch into a line formation, each soldier standing beside the other. Giving the next command after a moment of hesitation, Jason sent the line toward a small building 20 meters to their right. There was limited cover, so they had it set in a staggered column where the troops on the side closest to enemy fire side stepped, crouched low, and provided suppressing fire so they could safely make it. Jason himself took the lives of at least five enemy soldiers in the move.

The men, safely inside the building, began to set up a perimeter to clear the interior. Three searched the bottom floor to the right, three to the left, and the rest moved to the second floor. Inside, there was little fight, but Jason's team managed to suppress six enemy fighters. On the second floor, Jason's team met up on the stairway, waiting for Jason's next order. Jason motioned for his men to follow closely behind.

Jason checked his watch, his timer was counting down, just hitting five minutes. He picked up the pace, moving to a room on the second floor with two dead enemy fighters. He checked the bodies, retrieving a cell phone from each man, both men's assault packs, and a small container that would fit in the palm of your hand. It had a lock on it, but Jason took the key from the man's pocket.

Time to move out, Jason thought, as he signaled for his men to exit the building. They filed down the stairs, weapons at the ready. Jason in the middle of the line of men. Outside, the sound of F-16 fighter jets sounded. Jason checked his watch, they were early. Upon exiting the building, Jason could see the F-16's in the sky, way too close for Jason's liking. He shouted a command to his men, attempting to get them to rush, but the bombs had already started dropping. Jason sought cover, forgetting about his men for a second while he dove under one of his BMP vehicles and crawled to the other side, making his way as far and as fast as possible.

Turning when he felt he was a safe distance away, Jason did not see his men, instead he was alone. In a panic, he rushed back after the bombs started dropping, but he stopped suddenly when he saw pieces of an American soldier thrown about in the road. No, not one soldier, several soldiers. One of the ones who remained recognizable was a female from his team. Wait, it wasn't a female from his team, it was Lydia. Seeing his sister dead, blown practically to pieces was too much for Jason who couldn't so much as make himself move upon the sight of her.

"Then I wake up, before I can call for MEDEVAC, or even react, I just wake up." Jason finished.

Dr. Ramirez looked saddened, "That would keep me up at night too." She sympathized. "I'm sorry."

"It isn't your fault." Jason said.

The time was running short. Jason only had another ten minutes with Dr. Ramirez.

"May I ask you a question, doctor?"

Dr. Ramirez answered, "Yes."

"Why do you do what you do?" Jason asked, his expression blank. "Why do you sit and listen to people's problems for a living?"

Dr. Ramirez was a little surprised by the question, but was quick to answer. "I've always liked helping people. I chose this line of work because I've always been a good listener, I never judge, and I think I do a decent enough job." She smiled.

"That's good." Jason didn't even fake a smile, "You do a great job."

Dr. Ramirez looked concerned, "Is something on your mind?"

Jason shook his head, "I was just curious."

"How much have you slept the past couple of nights, Jason?"

"A few hours, not much." Jason replied.

Dr. Ramirez pulled out a small pad of papers and stated scribbling on one of the sheets. She tore it off the pad and handed it to Jason, "Here you go, that should help with the sleep. The nightmares, that'll take time. You should try and focus on what feelings are causing them and try to work through it. I'll be here to help with that process too." She smiled.

"Thank you, doctor." Jason took the paper. "Same time next week?"

"I will see you then. Take care of yourself, Jason." She said, smiling.

Jason left the office just as quickly as he walked in. He walked outside and felt the warm air hit him as if he'd just opened an oven. Jason looked down the street, seeing his favorite coffee shop in the near distance. Thinking about it for a second, he decided to go in. His group didn't meet for about an hour, so he had time. He limped down the street for a few minutes and stepped inside the shop, seeing the same friendly face of the young woman he'd seen here last week. He smiled at her as she began preparing his favorite again. This all felt very familiar, but not in the way it normally did. There was a haunting feeling about this day. He looked at Kailin, hoping her smile would distract him, but all he could see was her in the American uniform, blown to pieces. Two days ago, she was the one in his dream who died, not his sister. Now the image was burned into his mind, and he couldn't shake it.

"Good morning, Jason!" She looked his way as he approached the counter.

"Good morning, Kailin." Jason smiled.

He pulled out a ten again, setting it on the counter in front of her. She brought his drinks to him, looking at the ten.

"You know I wouldn't charge you, Jason!" She smiled.

"I know, that's for you." Jason winked.

"Thank you!" She smiled, blushing as she took it.

Jason sipped his coffee, taking a seat in the stool. He didn't want to think about anything but his caffeine. Drinking it down in a few short gulps, he shot his espresso and stood up.

"I'll be back, Kailin. I'm going to step outside real quick." Jason said.

"Okay, did you want another espresso?" She asked.

"You know me so well!" Jason winked, flirtatiously.

She blushed. Jason started toward the door, grabbing his cigarettes as he stepped out the door. A couple drags into his cigarette and Jason could hear a loud engine revving. Jason looked over to see a very expensive Jaguar sports car pull into the parking lot.

"Shit." Jason said to himself.

No wonder today felt different. How could he forget. Today was the day he died, and this was the man who killed him. Driving an expensive car, dressed in an expensive suit, Jason was looking at his killer. Jason wondered, did everything that happened boil down to a premonition? He wouldn't take the chance. Jason started toward the car, knowing very well what he had to do.