I was standing by the window, looking at the stars and moon. It's our third wedding night and I am in his room for the first time. It's our first wedding night together.
Being all nervous and scared as I am, I thought of what should I speak with him? Will he be my friend first or ask for his husband right? Just then the door opened. I could hear the door being closed. I slowly turned to see my handsome husband. Looking as handsome as ever. I didn't even realize that I was staring at him.
Unconsciously, I lowered my gaze. I was too shy and nervous to stay alone in a room with him as it's my first time being all alone with a man. And that man is my husband. Thinking so brought a blush creep over my cheeks.
Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain on my head. My hair was being held in a tight grip which made me look up at my now furious and angry husband.
Tears started forming in my eyes due to the sudden pain and shock. Shock and hurt that my husband is hurting me.
"I told you never lie to me, never break my trust, haven't I?! But you lied to me, you broke my trust." Anger and betrayal were clear in his eyes.
Suddenly, I fell on the floor. I felt a burning sensation at my left cheek because of the tight slap. Yes, my husband slapped me.
What wrong did I do to deserve such treatment? Why do I have to go through such pain always?
I slowly looked up at my husband through blurry vision but what I saw in his eyes was not expected after that tight slap.
Was he really sorry or am I going to suffer such hatred and anger by my husband? Will I receive true love? Will Nahush ever love me?
I trust you, God. I will go through all the hardships you have written for me, just don't make it too difficult for me to handle.
My wife is lying on the floor, crying and begging me to stop the emotional torture on her and to believe her. Believe her that she is faithful to me, believe her that she is loyal, believe her that she never cheated on me.
'No! I cannot trust her. Not again after what she did to me.'
Even seeing her face is making my blood boil. I knelt down to her level and my hand raised and gave her a tight slap.
Only I know how ashamed I'm feeling of slapping my wife but my hands are not in my control.
"How could you do this to me, you bitch. No matter what, I've always tried to keep you happy, always tried to make our marriage work, I've always trusted you, I love you!"
What? What did I just say? I love her?
'Yes, you idiot... You love her', said my subconscious mind.
No, I cannot love her. I cannot love a woman who broke me completely.
I come out of my trance to see Mallika in shock. In shock that I finally expressed my love for her.
She came closer to me and cupped my face in her hands. Her teary eyes were saying lots of things.
'No, I can't trust her again. I cannot let her break me again.'
I caught the hold of her hand which was cupping my face and said those things which I never thought of saying her.
"The biggest mistake I've done in my life is loving you."
I said, feeling tears flowing from my eyes.
Published: May 22, 2019