1 The mind works in mysterious ways

I usually walk with my head down.

Why?

I don't like looking at people's eyes.

Strange?

I find it pretty normal.

I used to walk with my head up but there are people I know who pass me by the street and try to stop me from going where I'm supposed to go. They would start to chatter non-stop or "catch-up" with you.

I don't need that crap.

'I don't care.'

I wanted to say that straight to their faces, but I can't.

Why?

Because since I was little I was told that "THAT" is rude.

So I just stand there, nodding, waiting…

Trying to look like I am interested… NOT!

Waiting for them to fucking finish their "interesting" story.

Smiling like it was the most interesting thing you've heard your whole life.

Trying to act like a decent and normal human being… but I guess I'm not.

'Just let me pass and I'll be on my way.'

'Who cares if you're girlfriend dumped you because of something.' Honestly, I was not listening…

I just want to continue walking and be on my way.

They take this big chunk of your time with their nonsensical grumblings as if I don't have my own problems.

You can't even pass this wall. They made sure that you don't have any openings to use as escape. Some even restrain your hand, that's the worst.

'Don't touch me, keep your distance.'

Sucks, doesn't it. But this is what people call as normal.

I've always wondered why it was so important for other people to share such embarrassing situations with other people they barely know, after which they would be outraged be the fact that other people are talking about it behind their backs. Dude, you just told me, did you fucking tell other people about your problems? Of course people will gossip. If you know 10 people and you tell all of them "someone" will definitely spread that information around. Don't fucking blame me, I don't even talk to people, they talk with me, approach me, just like what you did. Do you think I care enough to share the information you shared? I don't even fucking remember half of it…

I'm not even sure who shared the information. I wasn't looking at their face at that moment. I was more interested at the pebble on the road.

When you see a pebble on the road, do you have the sudden urge to kick it?

To see how far you and the pebble can reach?

Maybe the end of the street, who knows...

But it's different for me.

Let's say I see this pebble and observe it.

What comes to mind is how much this pebble will probably hurt another if you throw it at them.

Have you ever had those thoughts?

Pick a pebble and throw it at a random person.

Why?

'Just because…'

No other reason. I just felt like throwing it at their face.

Sometimes I have these thoughts.

I surprise even myself.

The thoughts passed by my head before I realized it.

Do I act on it?

HELL NO!

Cause a decent human being would not do something like that.

But most of the time I wonder how the person will react if they were hit by a pebble.

Anger probably.

I'd probably worry about the other person's mental health if he was laughing at someone throwing pebbles at him.

'Dude, you need help.' I'll suggest it lightly as I do not want to hurt his feelings.

If it's small they probably won't care enough and continue on their way.

'Eh, what was that?' They look around for the perpetrator and found no one suspicious. Then they start to move along and continue with their mundane lives… like me. They'd think it was bad luck on their part, ending as the target practice of another person.

If I throw this pebble at the person talking in front of me, will he stop talking?

I wonder how he'd react.

But the pebble is too small, if it's this person I'd rather slap him with full force than throwing this little pebble. Taking 30 minutes of my time without even having the inclination of stopping his ramblings.

Shit.

Have you ever had those thoughts?

Just slap your friend with full force…

'Just because…'

I bet there's a reason deep down inside my heart. I just don't think hard enough about it. Or I just don't care.

Do I even consider that person a "friend" if I want to slap him?

'Eh, who knows?'

Doesn't have to be a friend, any random person passing by would do, and "slap"

Like a slapping machine, continue slapping till you're tired.

But I guess that will hurt your hand.

I've never tried slapping someone, is this reason why I am thinking about it?

'No idea.'

Hey, these are my random thoughts.

Don't go questioning them as I do not know the answer myself.