1 Prologue

°•○● I used to love the world.

I was thinking it even loved me back. I guess it had a unique taste. A unique taste to me.

The rustling of the leaves while looking at the trees would make my heart tremble. Small ants running everywhere in the soil always make me look around with a childlike curiosity.

But if you ask me, the strangest was my love for the sky. Even when I didn't know how to speak, I looked up at the sky. It was not strange for my family that a baby met blue. They were a little like me. I can say lovingly or spiritually intertwined with where they live.

But the love for blue in me wasn't just about the sky. Beyond other colours, it was just a love of blue. It was something I could feel when I lift my head towards the sky every day or look at the ocean image on my computer's home page.

It was like a feeling that stuck my heart. I used to think that this feeling could be the only beautiful point in me that is worth loving or thinking.

Mine was a simple and very pure love. I didn't run after it, I didn't shout its name, I just watched the vast blue.

As I said, I loved the world and I thought it loved me back. It was easy to imagine looking at a sky where you would never speak, even with a childish thought-believing that it looks at you with the same attention.

I didn't see it as a lifeless object. It was just there. Both close and far away. It was as beautiful as in the fairy tales my mother told me before sleeping.

While looking at the sky I felt a power that created warmth in the centre of my heart.

It wasn't even good or bad. It was just blue.

Blue, with a simple, vast and special taste. Everything I love is so obvious. This love was enough to be sweet and simple.

°•○●

I have found the word "change" to close to me for a long time. Not the word, of course. I loved the power that thing contains. Watching the changes of other people day by day, rather than even years, was astonishing.

Even if you are a child, it was strange that everyone around you was maturing and the reasons for laughing and fighting was changing, but not you. I felt the same no matter the time or places.

I never wanted to change back then. But I also loved the change because it was the easiest thing to watch.

I guess I liked the change when I was on the street every day, with the increase of wrinkles on the faces of people and the difference in the eyes, but deep inside I didn't want to change myself.

"I didn't know that being human was changing every day a little more."

Maybe I learned to be afraid of changing at that age.

As I said, when I was a small child, I would only think about a few cases. Blue, the change in people's faces and me.

I could not confess my desire for blue and my secret love to anyone else. It was burning inside me with a special simplicity. It wasn't very important, or it was the most important thing. Who knows? Even I was afraid of thinking, how would I know.

Even though I keep it on the sidelines, the change I see in people's eyes was just like a talent for me. It wasn't a talent like a fantastic ability. But even when I didn't know what talent was, I would understand what others thought from their eyes. It was natural to be "me" for a simple person like me. A child with no abilities obsessed the eyes and wrinkles on the face for fun. Was it a crime? It was even worth it because it made me have fun alone from time to time.

...

If I go back to the beginning, it was easy to love the world for a child who lives just by watching. It was even easier to think that the world loved me too. A simple child who has never thought about good or bad. A boy who lived without thinking of the words "handsome or ugly". Without knowing the words of inequality, strong or poor or even cowardly and brave. I had a life where these words had not yet spilt into my world and defiled it.

I would have imagined things that I didn't know yet, with an invisible spirit between being old and young. I would only think of watching more and more eyes.

°��○●

He was watching people as he was afraid to change.

He's secretly watching people's change.

He doesn't want to reveal his gaze.

He doesn't want to reveal his secret love.

He is looking for blue-coloured things in his inner world.

With the blowing of the wind, he is just closing his eyes and enjoy that moment.

Strangely, he looks at the sky as if looking for something.

°•○●

Huuhhhhh.....(breaths deeply)

There was something simple in my life. There was a simplicity nowadays that no one else has anymore. I would look out of the window with a simple innocence. My primary school teacher told my family about dogs and cats.

"He looks out and dreams blankly in all the lessons. His head is always elsewhere! He has to come to his mind a little! He has to grow. He needs to get serious."

But I never wanted to grow! Of course, I was thinking about growing up. Sometimes, when I was looking at the sky, I also thought that the change in other people would happen to me too. Maybe learning new things would change me. Maybe I'd be a bad guy.

"How am I going to be when I grow up?" I was asking myself. Curious to be serious and mature. What did my teacher mean when he said serious and mature? Could these terms be confusing and ruin my life? How did she didn't know that I liked simple things?

Why wasn't she asking what I wanted?

I was looking for something simple with my imagination, which made me smile every time I close my eyes. What was the bad point of being a hopeful person who never expected bad things from other people? It was nice to be naive.

But these questions rarely came to my mind in those times. Like I said my mind was set to be plain and simple.

"Huuuhh .... (Breaths more)."

The blue, which made me feel sorry for a long time, is now far away.Even though my love for her is not over for years, it still does not make me feel happy like before.My childhood love, my blue is now far away. She's probably living a perfect life full of love with another person.

How long has it been since I didn't see my first and only love "Blue"?Sometimes I wonder if I can see her again? Her black hair and bright blue eyes. Her cute smile revealing her dimples keeps fading in my mind. I barely remember those beautiful eyes.

..

My childhood memories, which used to leave joy in my heart, started to hurt now. My heart, aspiring to a blue world, seems to be old now. Moreover, I feel sadder and sadder.I don't even think I love the world as much as before. It may not have even liked me back at all.

Still, I'm grateful for those simple times.

If I hadn't seen the change in people's eyes, maybe I'd be like all other humans who don't even know why they are sad.

If I hadn't had a dream full of blue, maybe I wouldn't look at the sky like the other six billion people.

My only joy nowadays is to look at the sky and dive into simple dreams.

°•○●

I'm sure the world hates me. But I think I'm guilty and I have no right even to be upset.

"Because I didn't run after her, I didn't cry out her name, I just watched those eyes like I watched the vast blue sky.

I should have done more!"

Even if I am at the other end of the universe, this time will be different.

I will run to my blue, even if the Whole Damn Universe is in my path!

I'm coming home baby...