Chapter 1

Life is unexplainable, life is unmeasurable, life is beautiful, and life for me is complicated.

Sometimes I'm kinda' jealous to the people who can easily get what they want. But me?

Nah. I need to strive and work hard for it. At midnight, I always think of what may happen tomorrow and what will happen to me. I wonder.

Dreaming is one of my most habits. To fantasize, to illuminate, and to hope for things. I know it can't happen now.

But someday it will. I hope, I will do greater things one day. I hope, to be better for now and be the best for tomorrow. I hope...

~KRIING!KRIIING!KRIS!~

I woke up when I heard my alarm clock ringing so loud. I prepared my own breakfast and take a bath and dress up. I sometimes leave my apartment messy.

I rode a jeepney on the way to school. I entered the room quietly but once I saw Faith and Charity.

Total disaster.

They are my best friends since high school, they helped with everything.

I always thought I will be shy forever, but with them.

You'd doubt if we get close enough and I get comfortable with you. You might think I'm crazy.

I smiled at Faith and Charity and come closer. And sat down.

"Hi Faith, Hi Charity. So, what's up?" I asked.

"What's up?" Charity hesitated. I laughed.

"Right, are you done at our thesis? Deadline tomorrow" I said

"Of course, were done, here's a token for my hard work on that thesis!" Charity said while pointing her eyebags. I chuckled.

"Ughhh!" Faith groaned. "Why it is so difficult?!"

"Ask your mom, maybe she knows." Charity said teasing Faith.

"You're not helping! I'm gonna have a mental breakdown!" She shouted.

"Hey, stop it will you?" Charity said with annoyance.

"Fine! But we're seniors now!" Faith added.

"Anyways, have you seen the new guy over there?" Faith asked while pointing the guy at the back.

Hmm, he seemed familiar.

"We have eyes maybe?" Charity said.

"Yes, why?" I asked and looked at her.

"I think I like him." Faith said while biting her lower lip.

"Stop it!" I said. I hate it when she does that.

"Do you know his name?" Charity asked.

"Not yet, I'll ask it later." She answered.

Our classes continued and while listening I feel like someone is looking at me so I roamed my eyes in the room. And saw the guy that Faith mentioned a while ago is looking at me! I looked away and focused on the lesson.

We're done with our classes and went to the cafeteria. We bought snacks and sat on the vacant table.

"Faith, the guy you mentioned that you like is staring at me a while ago," I said with a soft voice.

"What?! Why?!" She asked.

"I don't know, who knows?" I said.

"Maybe he likes you." Charity added.

"Stop it, I don't like it."

"Psh, is it because you're no boyfriend since birth?" She said while rolling her eyes.

"No! I just don't feel like in a relationship." I defended.

"Really?" Faith said sarcastically. I nodded.

"Okay." She said and took a bite on her burger.

End of conversation.

We continued eating and when we're finished we went to the restroom. Of course to retouch.

I got influenced by Faith on doing makeup, because why not? I mean it's fun.

"What's our next schedule?" Charity asked while looking in the mirror.

"Biochemistry I guess?" I'm not sure.

"Let's go, we're getting late!" Charity said.

While we're in the hallway we saw a girl sitting on the floor and surrounded by other girls. She's being bullied.

I stared at her for a few seconds and saw something on her. She looks familiar. Small lips, high nose bridge, and fair skin. I remove my eyes on her immediately when she looked at me.

"What is going on here?" Faith said. She looks mad. She doesn't like seeing this stuff because she, I mean 'we' went through this. It's hard.

"None of your business." The other girl said. She looked younger than us. Maybe she's a junior.

"Oh really?" She asked sarcastically. Oh no. The girl just ignored her and turn her back at us.

"Where did you come from? Huh?" The girl said while kicking the girl on the floor.

"Hey stop that!" We looked at the guy where the voice came from. It's the new guy in our class.

He walked towards us. I knew it he and she looked familiar.

Are they siblings?

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked with annoyance. And help the girl on the floor to stand.

"Uhm, sorry." The girl who kicked her said.

"You should be." He said and walked away with the girl

We entered our room and sat on our seats.

"Weird huh?" Charity asked.

"But why?" Faith replied

"I don't know he's that nice." I guess she's talking about the guy.

"But maybe it's just because for her sister right?" Faith added.

"Mm, yeah maybe."

We stop talking when the professor entered and talked about things. It's kinda boring. Class dismissed at 4 pm. Yep we're early.

"Hope, are you with us?" Charity asked.

"Why? Where?" Tanong ko agad.

"At the bar," she whispered.

"What?!" I'm confused. Why would we go to a bar?

"Just kidding! At the teashop nearby. Game?"

"Fine, I'll go," I said and smugged.

We just walked. It's really tiring for me. Maybe I should try working out. I think I'm getting fat.

We entered the teashop and ordered. We sat down at the vacant na table. Our order arrived and talked about school.

I'm not interested though. But sometimes I talk, because I'm curious.

After that we got home.

Again, I'm alone in my apartment. Mom and dad are busy with their business.

They just drop money on my bank. They pay my tuition.

It's fine, for me. My Kuya is in another apartment far from mine. Maybe he won't like being with me.

Joke! He's in college but he's far from my school because it will be more hassle if we live in the same place. He's visiting sometimes and brings food.

Speaking of food.

I just ordered food, my ass is too lazy to cook. I immediately slept after that.

Tomorrow will be the same. Again.

"Hope, are you coming with us?" Charity asked.

"Yeah, sure?"

"Great, see you later at the entrance." Charity added.

"Okay," I said and entered the room. It's quiet. I wish It will finish soon.

I saw a vacant seat beside a guy, I think he's sleeping. I tilted my head and went.

"That's seat is taken," He said. Gising pala siya.

"Oh, sorry," I said and find another vacant seat but I can't find one.

"Uhm, but other seats are taken this one is the last," I added. Please let me sit.

"Fine," he said. I sat and looked at him. Oh, you're the guy!

"Hi, I think you're the guy in the other class. Right?"

"What do you want?" He asked directly.

"Nothing, I'm just asking," I said and looked away.

The class started and it finished early.

"Bye Sir." We said.

I stood up and took my bag. Faith is calling so I picked my phone. I talked to her and went outside.

"Yep, I'm on my way" I answered.

"By-Hey!" I said. I got bumped by someone.

"Watch where your going. You're in the way." Said the rude guy earlier. I rolled my eyes 360 degrees.

"Faith!" I shouted.

"Oh where are we going again?" she asked.

"I thought you already know because you're with Charity?"

"What?"

I saw charity walking.

"Charity, where are you taking us?" Faith asked.

"Uhh.."

"Uh, what??"

"On a blind date maybe?" she said.

"What?" We both said. She just nodded.

"Let's go! They're handsome I Promise."

"You, are a big scam," I said while pointing at her. She chuckled.

"I said sorry, come on just order instead. My treat." She said and passed the menu.

"You sure?" Faith assured. She nodded.

"Okay, if you say so." She ordered iced coffee and I ordered a frappucino.

We saw random guys arrived, maybe they're the one. I noticed the guy is also here. I don't even know his name.

"Hi!" Charity said and waved.

"Hello." They said in unison and sat down.

We introduced ourselves.

"I'm Faith."

"And I'm Charity."

"And this is?" The guy pointed at me.

"Hope," I said.

"I'm Dave, this is Joaquin and Travis." He said.

"I know you, you were the guy from the same class yesterday?" Faith is unsure. But she is sure.

"Yeah," Travis said with a bored face.

"Oh, so you guys know each other?" Dave asked.

"Mm, not really." We almost said it the same tone. Like it's scripted but it's not.

We continued talking. It felt awkward so I excused myself and went to the bathroom.

I just washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror if, I look okay.

After I'm done I went out and without knowing someone grabbed my wrist and pulled me until we got out of the teashop. I didn't have time to look at him because it was so sudden.

"What's your problem?" I asked and looked at.. Him.

I looked at him and why is he still holding my freaking wrist?! I look at my wrist and he noticed that he's still holding it so he immediately removed his hand on mine.

"What?" I waited for an answer. He just gritted his teeth.

"Cancel it." He said.

"Cancel what?" I asked.

"You don't know?" He asked.

" What is it that I didn't know--"

Our conversation is interrupted when my phone rings. Mom is calling.

I rolled my eyes and picked it up.

"Yes mom, I'm on my way. What's the problem? Okay. Fine. I'm coming." I sighed and ended the call.

I went home and the guard greeted me.

I went inside at saw them waiting in the dining area. My brows almost hug each other because of confusion.

Mom and dad are talking to another looking couple like their age.

"What's this?" I asked and settled. Still confused.

"Let's eat first." My mom said.

I have no choice but just to eat.

"So, this is Mr. And Mrs. Garcia," Dad said.

"And?" I asked.

Dad continued.

"We already planned that you and their son is going to get marri-"

"What?!" I cut him out and put the utensils down.

"Sweetie, we filled the arrangement for you," Mom added.

"What? Why me?" I asked again.

I don't know what to do. I think I'm gonna' cry.

"No excuses! It is planned already Hope Geiv and it is done." Dad said.

"What plan is that for??" I'm so messed up.

"For the agreement darling," Mrs. Garcia whispered.

"Tomorrow you will meet 'him' iha" Mr. Garcia added.

Who's him?

I stood up and left the house. I went to my apartment and there it goes. The tears that I have been keeping, all fell. I'm so confused.

Who's him? Why the heck should I get engaged in this early age? Why? Why me? What should I do? Should I run? All these questions got stuck on my mind.

And I cried and cried until I fell asleep.

I woke up in the morning and did my morning rituals.

I'm so tired of everything.

My phone rang and picked it up. It's mom.

Again.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Where are you?" She asked.

"Why?" I'm so annoyed.

"You will be meeting him today and the driver will pick you up."

That's all and she hung up.

I went out and there it is, the driver is waiting.

I have nothing much to do.

We just arrived at an unfamiliar resto.

What? Why here?

I entered the resto and looked for him. I don't know him yet so I can't find him easily.

I saw Travis sitting alone in a table for two. I smiled. He's here for a date, maybe.

I haven't seen the 'him' mom is talking about so I went to him and greeted him.

"Hi," I said with a smile.

"Why didn't you cancel it?!" He asked in a low voice. Is he still mad? About what?

"Cancel what?" I asked.

"The engagement," Sabi Niya.

"What?!" My brows began to furrow.

"So your the 'him' that I'm gonna' marry?" I'm pissed. Seriously.

"Sit down," he offered the seat and I sat.

"Why did they make such a plan?" I asked. Trying to calm down.

"For the money." He said.

"Yeah right. Business partners." I said sarcastically.

"I have a girlfriend." He added.

I stared at him. I'm shocked.

"Dad said she is not the girl for me." So I'm a substitute? Is that it?

I assume that I'm the villain in their love story? What?! No way!

"Tomorrow is our wedding. No visitors, just us."

"I haven't graduated college. We're almost done, it's only a few months away. Why can't they wait?" I asked.

"Dad also mentioned that we will be living together."

"What the," I exclaimed.

"I don't even like you," he said with disgust.

"Well, same here." I pointed at myself.

I didn't have time to touch the food he ordered.

"I gotta' go." I was about to stand up but he grabbed my arm.

"They did this plan because they want an heir for the company."

"What? You're here. Right?"

He let a deep breath.

"They don't want me to."

"That's it? Then I'm going. Bye."

***

I arrived at my apartment and took a nap. I just remembered I have classes.

~TOKTOKTOK~

"Wait up." I opened the door and I saw Charity and Faith. I smiled.

"Hi, come in," I said.

"Hope, tell us what happened. are you okay?" Charity said.

I breathe heavily.

"I'm going to get married," I said and turned my face to the floor. Here come the tears again.

I saw them gasped and went near me.

"Congrats!" Faith said, happily?

I looked at them.

"It's not it," I said.

"Who's the lucky guy huh?" Faith asked.

"I-It's Travis."

"I'm jealous!" She shouted.

"Huh? You're not mad?"

"Why would Isis?" I felt relieved.

"I thought you like the guy."

"Yeah I like him but I didn't say that I want him to be mine. And so you know I have a list of crushes." She giggled. I smiled.

"So what's your plan?" Charity.

"His dad said that I'm gonna live with him." Tears started to fall.

"Then why are you crying?" Charity asked.

"I-I don't know."

"Just stay strong okay?" I nodded.

At least it helped.

"Charity is right stay strong and we're always here remember?" Faith added.

I hugged them. I'm happy that I have friends like them.

"Thank you," I said and wiped my tears until mom called.

"Hello, mom?"

"Hope, where are you?"

"I'm in my apartment, why?" My brows furrowed.

"Come, you and your fianceé will go on a trip!"

"What? But why?" I asked.

"No buts, Go now bye."

"Mm, bye."

I looked at Charity and Faith also looking at me like their asking.

"I have to go." I excused.

"Where?" Charity.

"Home, mom said I'm going on a trip with Travis."

"Okay, stay safe. We can go with you if want to?"

"It's okay you don't have to. I'll be okay promise!"

I gave them a smile and left.

I can trust them in my apartment to them because that's obvious. There my friends, Bestfriends.

***

I arrived home and opened the door.

There I saw again Travis's mom and dad. Mr. And Mrs. Garcia. I saw Travis sitting with crossed arms and looking serious.

I already know he hates what's happening and so am I.

I sat beside Travis. I looked at mom she smiled at me and I gave her a small smile too.

"As I was saying, you two will go on a trip." Mrs. Garcia said.

"For two months." Mr. Garcia added.

"Start packing my daughter, tomorrow will be your flight." Mom said.

So where are we getting married again?

"What? Where?" I cannot go I still have classes.

"In El Nido Palawan," Dad added.

Again. I have no choice but to pack. I entered my room and get my luggage. I took my pj's, swimsuits, clothes for outdoors and some for indoors.

I added my make up and jewelry. Anything that a girl can wear or bring for a two-month trip.

Wait I remember, I haven't talked to Kuya yet.

I grabbed my phone and dialed his number.

"Hello?" He asked on the other line. Damn, I missed him.

"Kuya, I'm gonna' get married," I said and I felt soft. Ugh, I'm crying again.

"What? Where? Who?"

"Tomorrow, they said it's an agreement."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He sounded annoyed.

"Sorry Kuya, and I-I'm going on a trip with my future husband." I rolled my eyes.

I know I don't like the sound of it but I said it anyway.

"Hope, you should've told me, I know you don't like it."

"No Kuya, It's okay," I said and wiped my tears.

"Stop crying okay? Just call me when you arrived at your destination."

"A pilot now huh?" I tried to tease him.

"Really? Med school? Pilot? Anyways careful on your flight."

"Okay Kuya bye,"  I said and hung up.

"Let's go." I heard Travis on the door.

"Coming!" I said grabbed my things.

I can't stop thinking about my Kuya. He's always there for me and it's like he's my lawyer to defend me from dad.

It's just the two of us, what can you ask for?

I hope he's here. I miss you, Kuya Chris.

***

I'm looking at the window here listening to music on the radio.

I didn't know that he's into love songs.

As I've said, I'm looking at the window and feeling the music.

Travis is driving and looking on the road.

Very serious.

We haven't talked since we left the house. I glanced at him a bit, Faith's right, he is kinda' cute. Fair skin, tall bridge nose, and kissable lips.

What am I thinking?

I got bored so I opened the window and feel the air a bit. I just remembered that we have the AC on and I immediately closed it.

Silly me.

"Travis, how's your sister?" Trying to start a conversation here.

"What about her?" He looked at me and our eyes met.

"How old is she again?"

"16."

I nodded as a response.

"I didn't know you like this kind of song." I joked.

"I'm not into Kpop anyway."

Wow, for the record he talked again.

Just kidding.

"Awww, why?"

"I just don't."

"Ooookaaay"

I stayed quiet.

I mouthed as if I'm singing.

I closed my eyes and listened to the song.

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I opened my eyes and the car is still moving. Gosh, I must've fallen asleep.

I looked around the road and saw some street foods.

I try to feel myself if I'm hungry, I even rubbed my stomach to feel if I'm hungry but I'm not.

The car stopped and he parked it near the street foods.

"What are we going to do?" I asked.

Is he hungry?

He didn't answer and went out. I followed him of course.

He stopped when I followed him.

"Are you hungry?" He asked.

Wait, I'm not assuming but did he noticed me earlier?

I just nodded.

We're here anyway.

"Let's go?" I asked and went on a stall that has fishball and kikiam. Yummy.

"Kuya how is this so?" I asked pointing the fishball.

"One peso two pieces." He answered.

"Are serious? But it's too cheap. You didn't get bankrupt right?" I was shock.

For sure he has a family to feed and then...

"Not really ma'am. There are many people buying and it's okay." He said while smiling with an okay sign.

I smiled back at him.

Now I envy you Kuya. Because he is happy on what state he's in or what he has and managed to do it while smiling. Because me? I cry when I don't know what to do.

I took a lot. I know I can't consume it all but I'll try.

After that we bought drinks. I'm almost near the car but he's not with me.

'Travis!" I approached him.

He didn't hear me.

I went near him.

"Hey," I said. "What are you gonna' buy?"

I looked at the place we stopped at... it's a park full of colorful lights.

"What are going to do here?" I asked.

Again.

He did not answer.

"Hello?" I said while waving my hand on his face if he can see me.

"Tch, I'm not blind." He said.

So I stopped waving my hand.

"Let's eat here."

He just nodded.

I sat down sat beside him.

"Okay," I said, and started eating. The food is not hot just like before so I ate it easily.

"You're not going to eat that?" I noticed he's not even touching the food. He ignored me.

-_-

Whatever. I make a face.

I can't believe that I ate all that lots of kikiam and fishball.

"Just curious, how's your girlfriend?"

"I broke up with her," What? Why?

"S-sorry." I looked down.

After a few minutes...

"You know what, at night I always dreamed to be perfect or to be flawless." I looked at him.

"Well, I accept the fact that I can't be perfect. And then one day, me, without knowing that I'm getting engaged with someone I don't know, yet." I faked a laugh.

I noticed he looked at me.

"I'm not sure what love is yet." I shook my head to stop talking. I'm talking too much.

He didn't respond. At all.

We stayed like this for an hour maybe, mostly I'm starting a conversation.

I can't, I have to break the silence.

"Are you done?" I looked at his cup looks like he's done.

"Let's go?" I said and stood up. He grabbed my hand.

"Why are you like this?" I don't get his point. Wait, am I ugly?

He's looking at my face.

"What like this? Oh no! Am I getting fat?!" I massaged both of my cheeks.

He smiled a bit.

"Stop being like this, I'm not ready to fall yet."

I was caught off guard.

"Anyways, let's go?"

***

Darkness filled the whole night only the moon and the stars are glowing. So we decided to stay in a hotel for the night and will leave 'till sunrise.

He paid for the room. We entered the room and it has two beds.

I sat on the other bed and took my luggage. I went to the bathroom to take a shower.

I went out wearing a purple to pajama.

It's Travis turn so he went in.

I thought about doing my night routine. I'm lying on the bed with a face mask on. I closed my eyes a bit and opened it again.

I look at the time. It's past 30 minutes.

I saw Travis done bathing.

He is wearing a white shirt at navy blue patterned pajamas.

He looks cute though.

I removed my mask and stood up to get some water. And returned to the bed.

I turn on the left side and our gazes met.

I feel like I'm melting. I can almost feel his eyes piercing through me.

It felt awkward so I looked away and turned on the other side. I gently closed my eyes and started to find my sleep.

I started to think.

For tomorrow, will it turn out well when I'm with him? Will our relationship work? I sighed and tried to stop thinking about anything.

***

I woke up and its 3:00 am.

I took a photo on my veranda and posted it on my story without a caption.

I was about to turn my phone off but it buzzed.

Travis replied to your story

Travis:?

I bit my lower lip. And typed

geivhope_toyou: nothing.

"Why? Are you scared?" I heard it from a familiar voice.

Travis.

"I am not," I looked away. Is it too obvious? I'm not, really.

He shrugged

"So what are your plans?" He asked. Is he okay?

"I don't have... Plans" I looked away.

"Why?"

"I can't decide."

"Why?"

"Because that's me. Why do you always ask why?" I pouted.

"Flight at 7 O' clock." He said and turned back. He stopped.

"Oh, by the way, if you can't decide, I..I'll help you out." And he left.

Just like that.

To be continued...