1 Chapter 1
It’s December 24th. Christmas Eve.
Ned Matthews stands in the frozen foods aisle
of Wal-Mart, the only place still open despite the fact it’s barely
five o’clock in the evening. Afternoon really, no matter what the
gathering darkness outside has to say. Tinny music blares through
the store’s speaker system, some rock mess that’s bothered Ned from
the moment he entered the store. Then it was George Michael,
bitching about giving his heart away last Christmas; now Britney
sings, going on and on about Santa sending her someone to love.
Good luck with that,Ned thinks bitterly. It didn’t work for
him but hey, maybe the jolly old elf has a soft spot for pop
princesses, who knows?
He stares at the ice cream display through
the freezer door as if anyone else will really give a shit if he
settles for Neapolitan instead of Rocky Road. Neapolitan is his
favorite—he’ll eat it stripe by stripe, starting with the
strawberry, then moving onto the chocolate, and finishing with the
vanilla when that’s the only flavor left. But Rocky Road has more
crunch to it, more substance, and if he’s going to make a meal out
of it, he should get something he can sink his teeth into. In the
frosted glass case, his pale face stares back at him, a skinny
ghost in baggy clothes who haunts the ice cream aisle. Disheveled
mousy brown hair, dark rimmed glasses, a red bow of a mouth where
his lips draw together in consternation. Decisions, decisions…
A bright laugh washes over him and then he
hears his full first name shouted out in greeting. “Kennedy!”
Annoyed, he starts, “It’s Ned.” But when he
turns to find Bobby Cratchett heading his way, the words dry up and
he has to clear his throat to speak around them. “Bobby. Hey.”
Bobby comes up to him so quickly, Ned’s sure
the guy will breeze right through him, just keep on walking, but
no. Stopping at the door beside the ice cream, Bobby leans against
the freezer and gives Ned the same lopsided grin he used to dream
about back in high school. In college now, it surprises Ned when
his stomach still flops over at that smile
“So you’re staying through the break?” Bobby
asks without preamble. Before Ned can answer, he adds, “Me too. My
parents gave each other a Caribbean cruise for Christmas. They
won’t be back before New Year’s. No use going home to an empty
house, you know?”
For a moment longer, Ned stares at that
crooked grin. Then he turns back to the ice cream case as if
dismissing Bobby. “Hmm. Sounds like fun.”
An arm nudges his—if he weren’t dressed like
the Michelin Man in his bulky winter coat, he might have felt
Bobby’s hand in that touch. As it is, all he hears is the sound of
nylon rubbing together. “What about you?” Bobby asks. “You going
home for the holiday?”
“It’s Christmas Eve,” Ned reminds him. “A
little late for that, don’t you think?”
If his response is chilly, Bobby doesn’t
notice. In the reflection off the freezer case, Bobby looks like a
black hole beside Ned—his dark hair, tan skin, and moody eyes seem
to suck in all the light until he shines with an almost ethereal
glow. In high school that hair was worn long, all one length to his
chin, a curtain Ned dreamed of running his fingers through or
nuzzling his face against. So thick and strong—on the soccer field,
Bobby wore it tied back in a ponytail like a girl’s, but that only
made him even sexier in Ned’s eyes.
When Ned came to State five semesters ago and
found Bobby already a year ahead of him, the first thing he noticed
was the hair—it’s now cropped short, a few black inches that stand
up as if shocked Bobby had the audacity to cut it down. With the
length gone, Ned can now see Bobby’s eyes, a deep, clear blue that
look like contacts but aren’t. And his grin, the way one corner of
his mouth rises just a fraction of an inch higher than the other to
show off the twisted eyetooth in an otherwise perfect smile.
With considerable effort, Ned forces himself
to open the freezer door, if only so he won’t stare at Bobby’s
reflection. It’s been seven weeks since he broke things off with
Jake and he won’t let himself look at another man, not yet. Not
ever.Even if that man is his old high school crush who lives
across the commons from him in the student townhouses and is
probably the only person left on campus besides himself this time
of the year.
Who’s always been nice to him but never
flirtatious, never interestedIf only he’d go away,
Ned thinks as he reaches for the Neapolitan. He grabs the Rocky
Road instead. Just go away and let me wallow in all this goddamn
Christmas cheer.Was that asking too much?
Overhead, Britney fizzles out and some
boyband tells him he doesn’t have to be alone this Christmas. As
Ned lets the freezer door slap shut, he tucks the ice cream in his
hand basket and turns his back to Bobby. But when he takes a step
away, Bobby falls in beside him. “You heading back to the
dorm?”
Ned shrugs. The answer is yes, of course he
is…where the hell else would he go? And why don’t they play
traditional holiday songs any more? Rudolph and Frosty and “Hark
the HeraldAngels Sing,” shit like that. Nothing sappy,
nothing about unwrapping true love or kissing under the mistletoe.
