18 Drumming in My Head
Eyes wide, scrabbling in the dark as Aiden kisses me, I forget the power. He tips his head to deepens the kiss and, as I recover from the shock, let myself explore kissing him back.
A moment later, the blistering heat gets sucked out of my skin into him, then floods back at me. Except it's become a warm blanket, a river of calm, the prickle of desire, seeping in wherever his skin touches mine. And it's . . . delicious.
I fist his shirt, pull him closer. When I open my mouth he inhales audibly, and my heart skips. I taste the salt on his skin, the spicy-sweet of the power. I pull at both, absorbing them equally eagerly.
Aiden's hands trail down my neck to my shoulders, my sides, around my back. And a trail of sparks follows them, raising the tiny hairs in their wake. Letting my hands trace his firm chest and shoulders, I scrape my fingers into his hair and press into his kiss.
He groans. One of his hands braces on the wall behind me, but he doesn't break the kiss. And the whole time he feeds me that heat. Only it doesn't pulse and fade. It settles inside my skin and . . . grows.
My eyes want to roll back in my head. It's a drug, warming me from the inside out. I can't separate him from it. I grab at him, pull the warmth in too. Exhale the rush. Can't get close enough. Drink them both—
Aiden curses and wrenches back, out of my grip. The invisible connection between us stretches for the blink of an eye, then snaps, stinging as it slaps back into my chest. But as quickly as I whimper because the river's gone, I also sense it inside.
I smile.
Aiden's two steps away, hands on his knees, silver in the light from the door, shoulders heaving.
I drop my head back. "It's incredible." I'm breathless. My head spins. My heart squeezes. This spiral is delicious. I want to dance.
I laugh and it echoes off the walls. "Amazing."
"Kate . . ." Aiden straightens, his breathing still not under control. "Listen to me." He closes the gap, brushes a piece of hair off my face. I shiver as the air crackles again. "That wasn't a taste. You're bound."
I laugh again. Does it matter? It feels great. And even though his shape is getting blurry, his words are crystal clear.
"Relax," I say, then laugh because it's what he kept saying.
Aiden chuckles too, but it dies too fast on his lips. "Okay, well . . . I'll stay close, okay? I won't let you get hurt, or . . ."
I don't hear what he won't let happen.
There's a drum inside my head.
I need to dance…
*****
Light and dark. Sound and silence. Now and not.
Pulses in me like a heartbeat.
Light from flames and fire. Faces thrown back. Arms in the air.
Sound is music, drums, a rhythm in my soul that beckons everyone.
Time—now—doesn't matter. Nothing matters.
I don't know who I am. What I am. But I'm beautiful and I want to be more of it.
Light and dark. Sound and silence. Now and not.
Pulses again.
And again.
And again.
Through it all, his eyes are there. On me. Always,
*****
Slowly, I fade back into the dull world.
The sharp clink of dishes against dishes makes me wince. Then it fades again.
When I wake again, I'm on something soft, pressed against a warm body, Then that fades.
Sight returns—too much light at first. I close my eyes. Then too much sound, so I close my ears. Then there's a hand on mine, a touch on my cheek.
"Kate?"
I blink and rush back into my own head.
I'm the corner booth of a restaurant. The tink of glasses underlines low voices of a dozen different shades. The plump seat cushions me. A square table appears in front of a landscape of china and glass, people, too.
Aiden, sitting alongside me, pulls my chin towards him, meets my eyes. "Are you awake?"
I blink again, and then I am. "Yes."
I can't ignore the look of relief that crosses his face. But he sits back without saying anything, throws his arm across my shoulder and takes a bite from a plateful of pancakes. "Breathe for a minute until you get your bearings. You're safe," he says through a syrupy mouthful.
Euphoria runs in my veins like a drug. I have to think past it.
A waitress passes, a dusting of sugar on her apron. I swallow back a rush that makes my hands shake, and the room comes into focus.
Cracked linoleum. A bar the length of the entire back wall, lined with stools. Frazzled women with thick ankles carrying huge plates of food.
An old diner.
Bliss riding my bloodstream, but twisting in my stomach.
Like a cat out of a cage, I scramble over Aiden's lap and fall to linoleum on the other side.
"Kate—"
I'm on my feet, running to match the banging of my heart. There's a door ahead, past the long counter. It dings as an old trucker walks in.
My hip screams when I run it into the corner of a table. My body isn't working right, but I keep going, eyes fixed on the door. I don't know where I am, but apart from the weight in my gut, I want to laugh.
"Kate."
In a blink I'm as clear headed as if I'd had a full night's sleep. My limbs begin to listen to me again. And the bliss fades.
I grab the old fashioned, u-shaped handle of the door and push, growl when it doesn't budge. Then yank it in. It swings wide, dinging on a bell.
"Kate, please—"
I'm out the door, on a wide, cracked sidewalk, a long parking lot, a busy road, a huge neon sign . . . and it's all swathed in the hazy gray light of the very early morning.
I stop dead on the edge of the sidewalk and Aiden there, leaning into me.
"Kate, don't freak. It's okay."
"Where am I?"
"Maggie's. A diner on the highway. We're like, five minutes from your house so you can get home . . . " he trails off.
I'm scared to look at him. I'm embarrassed. Afraid. Unsure what I've done. But also… exhilarated. My heart was already pounding when I woke up. It still is. I didn't run far enough to make it thump like that.
I whirl to face Aiden.
.
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