Four

December 22

It had been a week since he'd been to the usual classroom after school. A week since he had seen Alia. A week he'd spent trying to ignore the idiotic longing to be with a taken woman.

He'd even told himself out loud the night he'd come home after he'd realized that he had feelings for her that he couldn't have her. Even if he somehow managed to confess what he felt, he knew he'd be rejected. She had a boyfriend and he didn't plan on getting in the way.

He walked down the empty hall to the front doors of the school. All James wanted was to pick up his sister and move on. Forget about Alia and stupid desires.

As he pushed the door and opened it, letting in the cold winter air, a familiar voice called. "James!" He turned his head and a foot in her direction. Half of him faced the outside and half faced Alia. She stopped in front of him, gasping for breath. "Why," Her voice came out dry. She swallowed. "Why haven't you come to tutoring?"

In his pocket, his right hand crumpled a Starburst wrapper. "I didn't think it was a big deal." It was a lie, but he figured she wouldn't notice.

"But it is a big deal!" She told him. His brow creased. "It's a big deal to me! You're the first and only person I'm tutoring. I thought you liked spending time after school with me."

He did. "I do." She was so close now he could smell her. A mixture of cinnamon and strawberries. He thought it was a little funny but liked it anyway.

"Then why haven't you come to tutoring?" She demanded, her curls bouncing as she stamped her foot on the tiles.

He thought about it. "Its because you're there." It was the perfect opportunity to tell her. He knew it contradicted what he had thought earlier, but the sooner he told her, the sooner he could be back to normal and forget that she had been there for the past few months. He knew it would still take time though.

She was confused. "I don't understand."

His eyes softened. She stared at him. She'd never seen such an expression on his face. "Alia, I like you."

She knew what he meant but asked anyway. It was embarrassing to think you knew something only for it to be wrong. "What do you mean you 'like me'?" She hoped he didn't like her in that way. She hoped he'd say he only liked her as a friend.

But that wouldn't explain why he'd stopped going to tutoring.

A disbelieving smile came to his lips. To her, it looked like it caused him pain. "I have feelings for you, Alia. Romantic feelings." He reopened the door he'd closed before. The blast of cold felt like he was trying to keep her away. Keep her from barging into his heart more than she already had.

And if she was honest, it hurt. "And I know you won't return those feelings. You have a boyfriend of two years who I can tell you're really happy with." A foot was out the door. He was distancing himself. "And I don't really want to get in the way of that." James turned his head to look out the door and away from Alia. "So," She waited for him to finish his sentence. "I'm going to stop going to tutoring. I don't really need it anyway. And," He glanced at her, but before he turned away, Alia saw his almost sad expression. It was so different from his usual neutral expression. "I'd rather spare myself the inevitable heartbreak."

As much as she hated to admit it, she understood where he was coming from. "Okay," Alia whispered to him. It almost wasn't audible over the sound of the winter winds whistling past the gap in the door and infiltrating the warm school building.

"Okay," James repeated. And then, he left the building.

Alia was shaking where she stood. But she wasn't entirely sure it was just from the cold.