Epilogue

The streets of Hong Lim Park was filled with people wearing pink shirts. Inakala ko noong una na baka meeting lang 'to ng mga taga-MMDA but no, nasa Singapore pala ako.

Or should I say kaming dalawa pala. This is Pink Dot, the annual gathering of LGBTs and allies sa Singapore. I've been to some pride parades pero dito, di parada ginagawa nila, kundi isang rally. Lahat naka-suot ng pink, even yung scarves ng mga Muslim, pink! It's so fun to see how they're in solidarity with their colors regardless of their background.

Police were checking the IDs of those who want to enter the venue. Sadly, dahil di kami Singaporeans ng kasama ko, we can't join the rally...but at least nasa tapat lang yung hotel namin. The best seat in the house kumbaga. There we can join in spirit, at least.

"How I wish ganito din ka-organized mga rally sa Pinas, no?" Sabi ni Dan habang enjoy sa pag-nguya ng laman ng kanyang popcorn tub. "Walang kalat, di sagabal sa traffic..."

"Alam mo naman government nila dito, no bullshit. Pag may batas, sunod ka." My reaction sa sinabi niya. "Though it's kinda boring, no? It's not as colorful as, let's say...Taiwan."

"Asus, sabihin mo gusto mo lang doon yung mga bortang macho dancer."

"Uy, nagseselos siya."

"Hindi no, mas masarap kaya ako."

"Right..." Inaya ko siyang umupo sa tabi ng bintana para makita namin ang view sa labas. "Para namang wala kang laban sa kanila."

It's been three years since sumama siya sa akin papuntang Ireland. Though as much as we want to stay together, madalas nasa Pilipinas siya at madalas di siya nakakasama kapag nagpapatingin ako sa doktor. But he was there nung kausap ko mga doktor what to do with my prostate cancer at sobrang pasalamat ko sa kanya that he helped me decide and get on with treatment.

Siguro nga maswerte ako dahil di pa kumalat yung cancer cells - a university doctor offered me cryotherapy to freeze them out. While the procedure was fairly comfortable, yung side effects niya yung nag-struggle ako ng todo - malala na nga yung mood swings ko, mas lalo pang lumala especially when I'm alone. The rare times I have fun with Dan sometimes it's difficult to get hard. Minsan nga biniro ko siyang dalhan ako ng Robust capsules, at ang loko'y tinotoo nga't halos pinuno na ang maleta niya.

"Next month follow-up mo, no?" Tanong niya sa akin like a secretary. Kung minsan siya pa nagpapa-alala sa akin ng schedules ko - dapat na siguro ako magbawas ng pork at beans. "Magpra-pray ako ulit na sana okay pa rin gaya ng dati."

"Siyempre naman. Survivor kaya 'to." Pinorma ko ang braso ko, trying to make my muscles pop out of my shirt. "I can't imagine na I'd reach this far kung wala ka."

"Kanina ka pa nambobola diyan..." Then he brought his head forward para isandal sa mga balikat ko, but not without taking the chance to sniff at me. "Ayos pa naman ba yung mga side effects?"

"Medyo rare na." Mukhang alam ko na saan papunta 'tong usapan 'to. "Huwag lang sanang sumpungin at the last minute."

"Wala lang, tagal na rin kaya natin di nagbo-bonding."

"Heh. Maaga pa para diyan. Iinom na lang ako nung capsule para sure." Sabay gamit ko sa isa kong kamay para itulak siya. "Para kang bata, di maubos libido sa katawan mo."

"Miss lang naman kita, ah?"

Then his phone ringed kaya naputol na ang awkward naming usapan.

"Hello? May nakahanap nang magre-rent sa bahay? Wait, pasa ko phone kay Louie..." It was Gio. After we decided to be a couple again we thought anong gagawin sa bahay naming dalawa. He wanted to sell his pero I told him he'd rather rent it out. Nagkaroon pa nga kami ng misunderstanding kasi it sounded like I don't wanna commit pooling our stuff together, until he hilarously slipped and confessed na nadiscover niya from Gio na bumili ako ng lote – it was too late though kasi di na niya mapalitan yung nabili niya.

Kumplikado man ang situwasyon but we promised to each other that we won't need legal stuff as insurance anymore.

"Hey, long time no see. Oh, really? Si Master at yung jowa niya?" It was one of his friends who decided to move in. Dork siya, kaso straight. "Ay sige kamo, kami na mismo sasagot sa kasal niya basta ituloy lang nila! Sige, bye!"

The sun has set outside at nag-ready na ang mga tao sa park para sa inaabangang Pink Dot formation. Hawak nila mga glowsticks na, nag-aabang ng signal mula sa stage para sindihan iyon. As the countdown ended, the words WE ARE READY were formed by the audience. It was touching to see them declare that knowing such conversations are difficult to start with.

"Ready ka na rin ba?" Dan meant it differently though as he stole a kiss which I was obliged to return. Hanggang ngayon, the feeling doesn't change. May kiliti pa rin, as if we're teens doing it for the first time. It's such a nice feeling as if our lips are meant for each other.

"Sige na, mag-dinner muna tayo." Tumayo ako bago ko na-realize na kanina pa pala siya pinupulikat kaya hinatak ko siya para maka-angat. "Nagugutom na ako, eh."

"Nood muna tayo nung concert nila then punta tayo sa hawker, game?"

"Eh, gusto ko pa namang mag-Jollibee."

"Naglilihi lang?"

"Hindi, alam ko puro chicken rice na naman oorderin mo!"

We laughed at our antics while we try to fix our hair na nagulo namin. It's so easy to take for granted mundane moments like this, pero sa aming dalawa na kung anu-ano nang napagdaanan at nabigyan ng unlimited chances, every minute is worth remembering. After all, it's a feat that we lasted this long when it's so easy to claim that people like us are only looking for fun.

We sure have our fears, knowing that we're getting older, but we take it as a challenge to conquer. Wala namang sense mag-worry eh, mapaparanoid ka lang. What will be will be, but our love for each other will always hold true.

The night is young, life is good, we both look perfect for the party. Louie and Jordan just had another day full of love - it was a choice we decide upon each day anyway.

-- The End --