1 Nothingness

Why are you here? There is nothing.. but pure nothingness.

oh I see you want to find out if there's SoMeThInG here.

try anything you want there will never be anything.

you're still here. I might humor you a little bit.

Just for the fun. It gets lonely here.

with nothing and no one.

but myself. Of course you're here now.

How about some thing?

I dont know a thing.. yet.. mabey I know a thing but just dont know it.

what more is there?

nothing. there's nothing more than us and blank white, boring area.

perhaps we should have names.. what is a name?

ah a name is but words used to refer to another thing or person.

what's in a name? that which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.

I dont know what a name is.. or a rose.

sweet and smell seem interesting.

I think sweet would be something that hurts but is friendly... like the truth sometimes. I dont know truth, or hurt, or freindly...

I think you're friendly though.

I feel like what I said before has been said by someone else. I dont know who or even if it was.

its poetic if it was said by someone i wonder who, and why the said it.. even what it means and is about is a mystery to me.

mabey it means that names... whatever thay are ... are meaningless since it can be anything that is wanted it to be.. kind of like atoms.

what are atoms.... they probably are something... they must be a thing.. everything is a thing.

what should I call you?

no answer.. mabey you are just my imagination from loneliness.

just in case you can answer when you do you can tell me what youd like to be called and what you'd like to call me.

do you think things can happen in nothingness?

like events mabey... I dont know those either.. must be a thing... all I know here is no thing and words. no thing because I live in nothingness

I think we might be done with the visit... I'll miss you.. although I dont know what miss or visit is either.

well goodbye for now. I hope you come back soon.. because I'm lonely. I have no one and nothing to talk to.

its boring.

and quiet.

they say people go crazy with out interaction. I dont know who but I know they do.

crazy sounds fun.

I dont think that it's affected me. I'm not a person. or a people.

i dont know really but I dont think I am.

I dont think I am a thing either.

or a one.

or even a some.

oh you're gone. I didnt get to say good bye.

I dont know who you are or who I am.

or what I am or what you are.

I think you're a thing.

I can see dots... I think... might be my imagination.

I can feel that you're not here so why am I still talking.

wait I feel a thing I think.. I dont know what things feel like.

that thing... its empty. i dont know what that means.

it feels like i lost something.

a freind. i never had one of those. what is a friend?

hmm... I guess I'm alone again.

the dots are geting brighter.

mabey I'm imagining that too.

imagine hmm.. what's that like and what's it mean... mabey that you see things that arent things.

makes sense since I'm surrounded by nothingness.

but it also doesnt make sense since how could you see things that arent this.

and isnt everything a thing.

so I am a thing and they are a thing. we all are things.

but what are things? suppose they are everything, anything, and things.

wouldnt nothing be something. since everything is something.

meaning there isnt nothing.

so there is something.

I guess there are things in this nothing thing.

me, the dots, white and you.. ateast it was you but you arent here.

do you here..

no hear.

that whatever it is.

I recognize the sound. screaming and crying I dont what it to be that.

I know some stuff but not others.

mabey I know lots and forgot lots.

we never know what we dont know.

the sound is louder..

I have a physical feeling.

pain I think. it's also familiar.

"leave her alone" a small dot shouts at me.

I wasnt doing anything.

the one who came was a he I think.

they had soft and kind actions.

I liked them and loved them.

I think it is more than a freind.

I remember one thing about myself after he came.

I'm a mother.

I have a kid somewhere.

it makes me happy.

I'm not used to it.

I'm going to find them.

and I'll be the best mom I can be.

no one will stop me.

wed be together and happy.

happiness is something I forgot and remember now.

its great.

I'm going to fight for my kid and our happiness.

I feel something at my hand.

its warm.

red on my hand. no it's more purple than anything.

still dont know some of that. anything is a weird concept.

I remember colors now. that's good.

why is it purple.

"go mom" one of the dots shout.

dot you know what I said.

I'm happy. that you understood what I am just now starting to.

I love you dot and whoever came with you.

ah what was that.

m... my arm

"mom" the dot cries.

I'll be alright dear dot.

I'll be alright.

I cant move my left arm but I'll be fine.

my neck ow.

it stopped.

see dot I'll be fine.

I guess you can call me mom if you want dot.

you can be my kids adopted sibling.

I think that means you are mine but not mine.

but nothing is anyone's and noone is anyone's.

so I guess you are your own and mine..

. along with whoever brought you hear.

no here.

anyway it's like it's a calm after a storm.

I'm used to storms but I never fought against them before now.

I'm proud are you dot.

I feel like I should call you something else.

but I dont know what.

either way I hope you are proud I am.

I finally stood up to the pain and it worked.

so while it is calm since I've got nothing else to do I'll take a nap.

I feel something against me its warm.

feels nice and kind.

a lot like the one who brought you.

I remember what he and she is... genders

which are decided at birth but some chose to be something else.

which is okay no matter what everyone is good in theor own way.

even what ever hurts.

anyway good night dot I love you.

why am I crying.

it went like it usually does but I stood up against it.

I feel like it doesnt know what it's doing.

"are you sure you're okay mom"

yes little dot. it is fine.

pain is gone and replaced with calm.

I think I know why I was crying.

I forgot about my kid and lost almost all hope in getting out of here.

then you and the others came.

and I felt like I wasnt alone.

I hope you feel alright. I am not saying anything that seems good.

but everything is fine. I'm glad that I know or feel like there is someone and something.

I have things to do daily and I do them but I dont know what I do.

I know one is feeding my family and myself.

and others are things needed I think it's something to do with taking care of people.

and the other I only do on certain days.

it's got to be a job i think.

i forgot what jobs are.

I still do it so that's good.

I am happy at the job and aware of people.

i like that part of the day the most.

i think it's at a school.

everything is white but sometimes i see lovely colors like blue and light green.

usually things related to nature.

it's pretty.

nature and pretty things are the only things I see especially in color.

sometimes I love the nothingness.

sometimes the white changes looks.

back when there was the pain it was a mix of red and black.

I was angry and scared.

it's gone now so it's back to white.

white is pretty when you look at it the right way.

it's nice.

you went asleep little dot.

I'm glad I didn't scare you enough so that you couldn't sleep.

night.

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