116 CXVI. | 'Vision in the dark...'

The Elroys' shared room was quiet. The three children hung around their father's bed. Ramira was sleeping; Marcos looked like he was having a silent conversation with Shenado; and Emiliana--she was trying to read a book she'd grabbed off the shelf.

Trying and failing, unfortunately. She just couldn't seem to focus on the words anymore. Things kept distracting her, things she couldn't quite grasp. Fleeting sensations. A flicker in her eye. A twitch in one of her horns. And sweat--warm and then cold and then warm again. Even her own breathing was starting to play tricks on her. Easy and then erratic and then easy again. Over and over.

She didn't know what was happening. Some kind of panic attack? She'd never had one before. Was this what they were like?

But for some reason, she wasn't even concerned. Not about herself, at least. The only thing on her mind was to bottle it up. To not let anyone else find out. They'd just worry about her. Become scared for her. It made no sense, but right here and now, in the middle of whatever madness this was, not inconveniencing anyone seemed like the most important thing in the world.

At this point, the book in her hands was just a tool to help conceal herself. As long as she could look like she was reading it, everything could still be okay. The problem, whatever it was, could still pass. It could just go away. It could. It had to.

Then came Chergoa's echoing voice, ruining everything. 'Hey. Is that interesting?'

Interesting? What was she talking about? Oh, the book. Of course. Emiliana had to answer, though. What was this damn thing even about? She'd picked it off the shelf for a reason. She just had to remember.

Birds? No. Eyes. The book was about eyes. Bird vision was just one of the earlier parts. She'd picked it in hopes of learning more about ocular anatomy, but it wasn't particularly helpful, as she already knew everything that she'd managed to read.

'...Em? You awake?'

Emiliana's hands twitched as she realized she'd taken too long to respond. 'Y-yeah.' Oh no, that was stupid. She could have just pretended to be asleep.

'You okay?' Chergoa asked, hovering in front of her. 'Hey. You're shaking. What's the matter?'

It seemed there was no hiding it now. Emiliana just tried to keep herself from sounding as panicked as she felt. 'I don't know,' she said. 'I'm--I... ah--' When she looked up from her book, she realized that there was something else wrong.

Spots. Distortions in her vision. It was like the light in the room was bending, somehow; and it made her blink involuntarily, but nothing changed. Those spots weren't going anywhere. She could feel her breathing becoming even more erratic.

Chergoa's voice cut through everything. 'Listen to me,' the reaper said, more urgently now, yet still carrying that same calmness that she always had. 'Emiliana, it's okay. I'm right here. Everything is fine. You're perfectly safe. Just listen to my voice. Now I want you to try and stand. Slowly. Don't rush yourself. There's no hurry.'

Emiliana latched onto those words as if she were lost at sea and they were the only thing that could keep her afloat. She gradually made it onto her feet while a whirlwind of muddled thoughts and twisting light threatened to knock her off balance.

'We're going to the bathroom,' said Chergoa, suddenly much more casual, presumably for the others in the room. 'Be right back.'

Emiliana saw the door ahead of her. She just had to make it there. To walk straight. If only the floor would stop moving.

'Good,' said Chergoa privately. 'You're almost there.'

It didn't look like it, but after a moment, Emiliana realized that the reaper was correct. Her hand was touching the doorknob. She was leaving the room. And it almost felt like she wasn't the one who'd done it.

All the way to the nearest bathroom, this strange sensation continued.

Then she was in front of a mirror, removing her mask in order to look at her face, at the stubby horns there.

'Does anything hurt?' asked Chergoa.

Emiliana had to think about it. 'No.'

'Good. That's good.'

'What's happening?'

'You can't tell? Em, your power is growing.'

Emiliana's expression twisted into a scowl. Clearly, Chergoa thought this was a good thing, and perhaps it was, but Emiliana would've been quite pleased to never have to deal with this again.

Chergoa had told her about this, though. One of the things that made the mutation type so volatile was that, eventually, it had to be used, whether the user wished it or not.

Chergoa floated in front of Emiliana's face. 'Open your eyes wide for me,' the reaper said.

Emiliana tried and encountered resistance. Her eyes had been more sensitive to light ever since her power manifested, and now she had to struggle through the discomfort of forcing them open so wide. She could feel them twitching even more than earlier.

'Yeah,' said Chergoa. 'Whether you want them to or not, your eyes are about to mutate. Try to guide the mutation.'

Emiliana grimaced. Impulsively, she wanted to ask how the hell she was supposed to do that, but she already knew. They'd gone over this already.

There was really only one trick to it. She needed to imagine the desired change clearly in her mind. Simple.

The catch, of course, was that if she imagined something too ambitious, her power would go crazy in an attempt to compensate and do something random, instead. Random--and probably horrific, she figured.

So she had to concentrate. On her eyes, apparently. She hadn't realized that such specific mutations could occur on their own, but now wasn't the time to be worrying about it. Her thoughts went to her studies. The book she'd been reading earlier.

The temptation was to imagine something like an avian eye, perhaps to enhance her ciliary muscles for more versatile lens movement, but she had to keep her limitations in mind. At the moment, her mutation power only allowed her to manipulate the protein known as keratin; and unfortunately, keratin didn't have much to do with vision, unless she intended to grow hair on her eyeballs.

And for a few terrible seconds, that's what she thought she might have to do. There was no stopping this change. She had to do something.

And then she recalled a structure in the eye which humans didn't have but that certain animals like cats and dogs did: the tapetum lucidum. It sat right behind the retina and reflected light back through it, which ultimately increased night vision and made it look like the animals had glowing eyes in low light conditions.

That, at least, seemed like a better plan than eyeball-fuzz. The only problem was whether or not she could construct a tapetum lucidum out of keratin alone. She had no idea how feasible that was.

She supposed she was about to find out.

She shut her eyes and poured all of her concentration into her work. A curved structure encapsulating the back of each eye. Right now, that was all she needed. All she wanted.

Searing pain arrived, as expected. Tearing tissue, she figured. Something had to be moved in order to make room for the keratin. She'd forgotten to ask Chergoa to numb her beforehand, but the reaper must have been able to tell from Emiliana's expression alone, because abruptly, the agony disappeared. Only a lingering shiver was left behind.

In her head, she completed the image of what she wanted half a dozen times before finally realizing that everything had settled. Her heartbeat, her breathing, even the panic, for the most part. She was still sweating, and her nerves were still putting her a little on edge, but at length, she decided that there was nothing left to do but open her eyes and see the results.

Slowly, her eyelids peeled back, letting light in again. And she was confused. And panic spiked through her chest another time when she saw how blurry everything was. Then a quick wash of relief as the world began to come back into focus. The mirror was still there in front of her.

There were, however, splotches. Great dark spots. Hovering in the middle of her vision. Quivering. And the light--it made her squint. It didn't quite hurt, if only because she was numb, but she found it difficult to keep her eyes open now.

But she supposed that only made sense. She'd been a bit sensitive to light before, and now she'd added a structure that only increased the amount of light on her photoreceptors.

'How's it look?' Chergoa asked. 'Can you still see me?'

Emiliana blinked very slowly. 'Yes... but I think I am going to need sunglasses from now on...'

Chergoa's laugh was full of relief. 'I'm sure we can manage that.'

Emiliana rubbed her face and washed it in the sink before putting her mask back on. It did dim the light in her eyes a little bit, but she would certainly be needing more than just this now.

They started back toward the Elroys' room together as Chergoa offered reassurances and Emiliana only half-listened. She still had holes in her vision. Everywhere she looked, murky pits of black and gray seemed to swallow light or distort it, and she wasn't sure if she should tell Chergoa. At length, though, she decided that she probably should.

'I see,' said Chergoa. 'Er, I mean--I understand.'

Emiliana just looked at her.

'Well, hey, you barely even need your eyes anyway. If it comes down to it, I'll just tell you where everything is.'

That reminded Emiliana that this was going to happen again. It was only a matter of time. Unless she did something about it, of course. She knew she only had herself to blame on this one. Chergoa had warned her previously that she needed to use her power in small, controlled ways, and Emiliana had been neglecting that. It might've been irrational, but a part of her had been hoping that she could just sit back and never have to worry about making things worse.

Foolishness, she knew. She was just grateful that Chergoa wasn't rubbing it in her face.

She didn't know how she was supposed to get used to this. Everything was so bright, despite all the gaps everywhere. The oddest thing, though, was that not all of the holes were the same. There seemed to be two types, actually. Some were just strange fluctuations in light, occasionally even moving to and fro, shrinking and growing, creating an illusion of distance from her. The others were just big dark spots, blurry and completely stationary, making it feel as if she were stuck looking through a pair of mucked up binoculars.

Before they made it back to the room, however, a commotion at the far end of the hall caught Emiliana's attention. A number of Rainlords had gathered there, and when she turned to Chergoa again, she saw that the reaper had stopped and seemed to be concentrating.

"Is something happening?" Em asked.

'I think so. There's a lot of movement a couple floors below us.'

"Do you want to investigate?"

Chergoa thought a moment. 'Nah. It doesn't seem like a fight's broken out. We should stay close to Zeff. I'm sure someone will find us if there's anything we should know.'

Emiliana had no problem with that. They finished returning to their room.

Something still felt odd, though. She couldn't quite tell what it was. A stray shiver ran down her spine, and she became abruptly conscious of the hairs on her arms and the back of her neck. And even after rejoining her family, the feeling didn't go away. It lingered, keeping her on edge and making her scan the room over and over again, trying to reassure herself that nothing was actually wrong.

If not for the holes in her vision, she might've had an easier time believing that.