2 Unexpectedly

Book closed.

I wonder what I was thinking back then and what am I even thinking now? I wonder why I took this old diary out from my stacked shelf and read my 18-year-old self's thoughts. A reflection on past self, maybe? Why did I write it to begin with? Too many questions coming through my mind and the nostalgic feelings keep bugging me. I admit I still feel my heart squeezing when I'm reminded of him. Yes, I still can't forget him. I don't think about him twenty four hours a day but... just like when I was 18, I think about him from time to time.

I lost my old phone, I can't remember his face clearly because it has already been 11 years since I last saw him, and this diary is the only connection I have with him now. Sigh... I'm already a working adult but I'm still holding onto my first love like a fool.

"Ah... I'm soooo pathetic."

"Yes, you are."

I glared at Jo-Ee, the only best friend who has been by my side since middle school. She is stuffing the food I cooked into her small mouth and she doesn't plan to leave any for me, it seems.

"Don't come barging into my place, eat my food, and be mean to me!"

I voiced my annoyance and quickly took one piece of egg roll into my mouth before she devours the whole dish. Thanks to her barging in 5 days a week for dinner just because my apartment is closer to her workplace (that's what she said), I succeeded in staying in shape and having a stomach which growls loudly at 1am.

"Listen, Dorami. I wasn't mean, I only agreed to the fact which you stated. Seriously, why are you reading your diary and becoming all depressed again? Do you miss him that much?"

She looked at me and sighed when I didn't reply and only buried my face in my old diary.

"You should go out and meet someone new. I will set up a date for you, isn't it interesting?" Jo-Ee smiled and winked at me. I swear this is the 82749th time that she tries to plan a blind date for me.

"I don't want to..." I said, tired.

"Come on, I know someone who is good looking and well mannered, an ideal man. You will like him! Trust me!"

"I said I don't want to. Besides, what's the point when I'm not even ready. I will just make him uncomfortable..."

"Ugh, I seriously want you to snap out of it already, it's been 11 years, you hear me? Isn't 11 years enough time to heal your wound?"

"There is no wound to being with. There is only regret. Argh.. I want snap out of it too. I want to stop thinking about my stupid past!"

"That's why I said-"

"No, thank you."

I shut her off before she could go back to plotting her set up plan for me to meet someone new. I know she wants me to stop dwelling in the past and open my eyes to see new things, meet new people and enjoy life. I'm thankful for that but... I can't do it. I'm just not ready to get involved with people more than I already have.

I'm a social introvert so I can't deal with people well. Thinking back to the old days, I only got Jo-Ee and him, Kenyu. Although it was for a short time, Kenyu was the best friend I could ever have besides Jo-Ee. He was well known among our generation in school but he was never arrogant and was always friendly even towards people he did not know well. The socially awkward me could only watch him from afar.

I stood my own ground and knew my strong points, but I still felt inferior when compared myself to him. Who knew the new school year would allow me to be the famous Kenyu's classmate and seatmate, and then a person he would confess his love to. Kenyu was a very charming person. He was kind and fun to be with but sometimes childish too. His imperfections made him perfect. I really found him cute but also dependable.

We really got along well but my stupidity drew us apart. I can't comprehend what I was thinking back when I told him I loved him but then avoided him and ran away like a scaredy-cat. The only thing I have left is regret.

If I could meet him again, I sincerely would like to apologize to him for my foolish act. I want to be friends with him again. I… really miss him.

Ring ring ringgggg~~

Ugh, I really hate alarms.

"Dorami~~ you are going to be late for workkk," and I hate hearing Jo-Ee's mouth-alarm on mornings like this too.

I turned off the alarm clock and tried to open my eyes. They were still hazy so I closed them for a few more minutes…

"Dorami!!!! I said you will be late for work! You, get up now!"

I thought I was pulled up by a huge octopus's hand. She really doesn't restrain when it comes to using her energy. Eyes opened wide, I stared blankly at Jo-Ee who looked like she was about to set her mouth-alarm ringing again, louder than before.

I'm not a morning person but I'm responsible enough to arrive at my workplace on time. I took a quick shower and dressed up. I don't like putting make-up on so I don't take much time in preparing myself before going to work.

"I'm going. See you later."

"Okay, today is my day off so I'm going to sleep some more."

Jo-Ee waved me goodbye before slumping on my bed. I smiled as I closed the door. We are really like a married couple.

She usually stays over at my place because she doesn't feel like going back home after she fills her stomach. She lives with her parents in their house which is just a hundred meters away from mine but they rarely cook because all of them are busy with their own jobs. Even though she imposes herself on me sometimes, she is actually a sincere person with a heart of gold. I'm thankful every day that we are friends although her mouth-alarm is not really to my liking.

I work as an aircraft engineer for a fairly famous international airline company. I have liked airplanes since I was young and this job doesn't require much interaction with people so it works well for me. Plus, the good pay.

I greeted my colleagues before performing my routines. I am the only female in the team so we don't have small talks, we only communicate when it's related to work. I am a fortunate person. I have a good boss and understanding colleagues so I don't feel pressured when working with them. I feel like I have gotten better at socializing since entering the working world with the help from them.

"Oh right, there will be a new pilot based in here and I heard he will come to greet us this morning at around 10am." Our Chief Engineer briefly informed the team.

"He is a handsome man so I hope our Dorami will be here to greet him too hehe," He continued. I'm already used to his endless teasing. He seems like he really wants to marry me off or something. He is similar to Jo-Ee in that aspect.

"Stop it, Mr. Nowin. You are making Dorami uncomfortable." Raho, one of my teammates spoke up.

"It's alright, I will come to greet him too." I said, believing I will run into the new pilot frequently as we will have to work together, so might as well get to know him now.

I just saw Mr. Nowin grin. What is he thinking again? Geez…

"I'm Kenyu Lain. I will work with Captain Ben mostly. It's nice to meet all of you here and I look forward to working with you."

The new transferred pilot, a handsome man with a charming smile, Kenyu Lain…, Kenyu Lain.., Kenyu…. Ha… Is he the Kenyu I know…?

What- what is this? THIS IS SO UNEXPECTED!!